Things kids say!

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GentleBenn

Veteran
Location
wales
These, are real answers given by children. :sad:
The last but one is my favourite!


Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
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Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
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Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
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Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
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Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
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Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
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Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
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Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
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Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen).
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.
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Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
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Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
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Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
 

Cranky

New Member
Location
West Oxon
Very good. :sad:

Here are a few from my days in FE (again, all genuine) for your enjoyment:

In a church, which is bigger than the average bathroom, the walls are further apart ....

We recorded the first version on a four track portacabin.

The magazine is free and will be disturbed to students and staff.

(written by female student): Teamwork .... a lot of lateness and unattendance was rife but copulation between me and my partner James was good ....

Equipment used: Soundscape Digital Multitrack Hard Dick Recorder

When a piece of jazz is recorded live, the musicians do not tend to stick to the correct notes ….

I feel he could have put a bit more effort into savaging his work ….

(written by male student): First of all may I describe this project as similar to having a baby.
 
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