Things you'd like to say, but can't

[Arjimlad]

Waddling the ten yards from your desk to mine gets you out of breath enough, without you then trying to talk to me with your mouth full of cake. Please finish eating before leaving your desk for mine.

 

[Speicher]

I am not sorry to hear that you are leaving. Yes I will be helping to organise a party, after you have gone.

 

[Maverick Goose]

Ever thought of wearing reflective clothing or carrying lights, numpty walkers? What am I, Gollum FFS?

 

[ScotiaLass]

The game is up.
Would love to be a fly on the wall when you get a letter from my solicitor!

 

[marknotgeorge]

To address the general theme of all the points in your various emails:

• An income of between 5 and 10 times the national average is enough to live on. Stop whining.
• HMRC aren't nasty & spiteful, they just have minimal sympathy for people who shirk their legally defined responsibilities. Stop whining.
• Christmas may be a bad time to pay a tax bill, but you have 9 whole months before then to sort it out. Stop whining.
• In the time you've taken to write that email about how you don't have time to respond to our emails, you could have logged onto your internet banking (you know, the site you use to transfer all the money out of the company account to your personal account) and downloaded the statements I need. Stop whining.

What was that other thing I wanted to say? Oh, yes. Stop whining.

 

[Mrs M]

Stop bossing me about and "do one" .

 

[derrick]

It say's GOOD JOKES ffs.

 

[LocalLad]

Stop interviewing me and decide...Di you want me or not? I'd like to plan which end of the country I'll be living in next year

 

[Saluki]

Get out of bed you lazy bugger. You are NOT that ill.
I am SO bored with this.

 

[TheDoctor]

Stop asking stupid questions and just ride the farking thing!

 

[Maverick Goose]

FYI Bieber it IS too freaking late to say you're sorry!

 

[Speicher]

Please start telling the truth. I have had enough of your lies, untruths and half-truths. Stop being economical with truth! Stop guessing what people will think! Stop fabricating "evidence" for your assumptions!

I know now the "truth" about this, and will act accordingly. I am not joining in your manipulative games, your fantasies, and I will not respond to your totally unreasonable, never-ending demands. I will not respond to your emotional blackmail. Please ask your sons to help*, if you think my assistance is not sufficient.

* Is that the sound of flying pigs that I can hear.

 

[derrick]

Just get on ya bike and ride the ******* thing, Stop making feeble excuses not to ride, Just get of your backsides and ride.

 

[Slioch]

To the Dyno-Rod van driver who tried to kill me on the A1 yesterday, I hope you lose your job, I hope your wife leaves you, and I hope you die slowly and painfully from syphilis. You're a twunt of the highest order.

 

[raleighnut]

To the Dyno-Rod van driver who tried to kill me on the A1 yesterday, I hope you lose your job, I hope your wife leaves you, and I hope you die slowly and painfully from syphilis. You're a twunt of the highest order.

I'd have shouted that at him.