Things you'd like to say, but can't

[ColinJ]

Dear van driver. The reason I swerved to the left and almost had an involuntary bowel movement was not the proximity of your van to me as you overtook - It was a tad close, but no worse than many such overtakes. The real problem was the Shetland pony-sized Rottweiler on your passenger seat which suddenly decided to stick its enormous head out of the half open window and bark directly into my right ear!!!!

 

[Maverick Goose]

I am not the only woman who works here! I do not remember every customer who passes through the door! And yes , web exclusive means you can't buy it in the fecking shop!!! Get off my phone and learn how to use the internet you fecking moron!!!

RTFM....!

 

[Lullabelle]

How the f**k do I know? Look at the menu, maybe you should have asked that before you said yes and I booked the table

 

[TVC]

Speaking on behalf of Britain and addressing the rest of the world: "You should see your faces, did none of you work out we were joking?".

 

[Lullabelle]

What a great night's sleep, I feel so refreshed this morning.

 

[AndyRM]

Grilled steak McCoy's at 9.30 in the office?

Really?

 

[pplpilot]

Pal, they are called average speed cameras for a reason you farking moron, slamming your brakes on every time you go under one isn't going to make a jot of difference to the quite obvious 100mph you were doing... you knuckle headed prat, I really hope you are on 9 point and another 3 on the way. Good luck insuring your 'beemer' then... Twat.

 

[srw]

I don't think you've thought this through. You can't just waltz in and tell my team that your team are about to take over their work. We have not yet agreed anything, and you'll find it much more difficult to get me to agree now.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Grilled steak McCoy's at 9.30 in the office?

Really?

FTFY

 

[GrumpyGregry]

You know that thing I said I'd like to say but couldn't. I said it.

Blighty here I come!

 

[AndyRM]

FTFY

A very valid point.

I quite like the salt and vinegar ones, but they do make my tongue sting.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Dear TdF spectators:
If you are going to run along beside the road in your pants or similar, at least make sure you look remotely attractive and fit enough, nobody wants to be emotionally scarred by you.

 

[NorthernDave]

Grilled steak McCoy's at 9.30 in the office?

Really?

Add a can of Red Bull and you've got the Breakfast of Champions...

 

[raleighnut]

Add a can of Red Bull and you've got the Breakfast of Champions...

Only if there is Vodka and Tequila in the Red Bull. DAMHIKT

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Fussy, aren't you....