This is our future........very scary!

Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.

Dave7

Legendary Member
Location
Cheshire
I'm not sure I believe all (or any) of these are genuine. Part of me hopes they are but most of me prays they are not.

The following questions were set in last year's examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
Q. What are steroids

A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
(Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)
Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U..
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby
Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)
Q.... Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
Q. What is a terminal illness

A. When you are sick at the airport.
(Irrefutable)
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
 

Smokin Joe

Legendary Member
Highly amusing, or at least they were when I first saw them about 40 years ago.
 

ianrauk

Tattooed Beat Messiah
Location
Rides Ti2
yeah they are a bit old. These internet things do do the rounds.

But they are still fun reading never the less. :laugh:
 

Nihal

Veteran
I'm not sure I believe all (or any) of these are genuine. Part of me hopes they are but most of me prays they are not.

The following questions were set in last year's examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.
Q. Name the four seasonsA. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drinkA. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formedA. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceansA. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist onA. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowe..................

Oi,I'm coming to get you,go hide:ninja: ..........i aint that stupid to name four seasons as salt,pepper,mustard and vinegar.Infact youre the one whose gonna have them on you.And sure i'm gonna "flirtation"all those stupid notions from you.And when i'm done with you, you wiil be feeling as though the sun shined on you.And if the tides fight,I'm gonna put you right in the middle of it and for a fact premature death is associated with cigaretts.And mind you i'm gonna pump you with so much steroids that you can NEVER get up stairs again.And my freezer is going to be filled with you,not milk,so your body is fresh for every other guy who gets this notion.And youre gonna end up like Julius Seizure,mind you.And after everybody ihas seen my freezer ,i gonna put you in a terminal and stick you in a turbine.
And you better pray hard cause i'm gonna judiciously choosing between a fork,Knife and a Chainsaw:evil:


"waves hands"Clear up people.Theres nothing to see here



Don't take that personally but i'm 15,so i was a bit angry at that.Was a fun read though and well.....i'm answering only for myself.:thumbsup:
 
Top Bottom