Top tip.

[Cyclopathic]

A modified bell can make an excellent handlebar ash tray that can be used to store your butts so you don't litter.

 

[hopless500]

A modified bell can make an excellent handlebar ash tray that can be used to store your butts so you don't litter.

 

[TVC]

Only the bottle holder on the seat tube should be used to store your can of stella whilst you spark up a joint, if you use the down tube the lager will run out of the can.

 

[Cyclopathic]

Aero bars can be a great help on straight roads if you are trying to roll a ciggy. (A tandem and stoker may be necessary for more "specialized" cigarettes)

 

[Kies]

Any set of bars can be used to store food (sausage, spring onions, cucumber) if the bar end plugs are removed. This also lightens your bike significantly

 

[DiddlyDodds]

The General Public.- Brighten up a shop worker’s day today by simply telling them how hot it is outside. They love that!
Tennis Fans - Pretend you're at Wimbledon by simply laughing and clapping every time a pigeon lands on your lawn
Fool people into thinking their pizza has arrived by parking outside a house in a rusty Vauxhall Corsa blasting Dubstep
Bad Drivers . Avoid falling off the motorway by simply driving slowly and staying in the middle lane.

 

[MontyVeda]

bar ends make great glove holders.

 

[deptfordmarmoset]

bar ends make great glove holders.

And if you tie them together with a bit of cord fed through the bar, you'll never lose them. (Hand signalling may present a challenge.)

 

[TVC]

When cycling on the pavement it is not necessary to check for traffic as you cross a side road.

 

[Born2die]

Only the bottle holder on the seat tube should be used to store your can of stella whilst you spark up a joint, if you use the down tube the lager will run out of the can.

And for all that is holy dont put your lager in a sports bottle and avoid potholes as a shaken can of booze can lead to an interesting looking wet spot as it fizzes up

 

[TheDoctor]

Bottle cages are exactly the right size for a bottle of Newcastle Brown.
6 pints of Marstons Pedigree (even if it's BOGOF) will diminish ones cycling skills.
There are no circumstances in which the drive to Heathrow is pleasant.