Tripadisor reviews of natural attractions.

[broadway]

Toilets are clearly a thing for him... I remember him being chuffed to be let in somewhere that was being refurbished, and praising the softness of the toilet rolls.

That would be the William Wallace monument which is a "bit too high"

 

[Shut Up Legs]

"Scotch" ?

 

[snorri]

I used to stay in digs which were invaded by tourists in the summer and had to feign interest in their stories of the amazing sights they had seen.
One guy was telling of his car journey from Perth to Inverness and how neatly the roadside grass verges were maintained. I hadn't the heart to tell him there were no roadmen out with lawnmowers, the grass was nibbled short by the sheep. (There are fewer sheep around nowadays!)
Another told of stopping at a riverside and how there was no smell off the water, even when he bent down with his nose just out of the water, still no smell.
One did wonder where these people came from.

 

[Milkfloat]

This is the sort of post modern irony, the hilarious and devastatingly witty slopes of which, I can only dream of scaling. The big man's a comic genius.

No, he is just an American.

 

[Dan B]

WTF else do you make mountains out of?!

Molehills

 

[threebikesmcginty]

"Scotch" ?

Scotch people, yeah?

 

[Globalti]

While we are taking the mickey out of Americans, here's a story I read on a business travel forum. The poster was in Business class next to a Texan couple flying from a US airport to Frankfurt on Lufthansa. The steward came round with the meal service and got chatting with the Texans:

Steward: "So where are you going in Germany?"

Texan: "Oh, we're going to Munich for a holiday. We went to Munchen last year and enjoyed it so much we thought we'd go again but somewhere different."

Steward: "Oh yes, I was brought up in Munich; it's a nice city. But don't you know Sir, Munich and Munchen is the same place!"

Texan: "Is is?" (To wife) "Gee Honey, looks like we messed up again. Oh well, I'm sure we'll have a great holiday anyway!"

Steward: "Well never mind that.... how about some of this caviar?"

Texan: "Caviar? Cay-viar? What's that?"

Steward; "Oh, you know.... fish eggs."

Texan: "Okay. Give me two!"

The story concludes with the teller saying that the steward rushed to the galley and could just be heard through the curtain stifling hysterical laughter with his face buried in a towel.

 

[tyred]

WTF else do you make mountains out of?!

Sure they make everything out of plastic nowadays.

 

[AndyRM]

Scotch people, yeah?