Truth is stranger than fiction....

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vernon

Harder than Ronnie Pickering
Location
Meanwood, Leeds
I've just heard on Radio Four news about a man from Lowestoft being treated for smoke inhalation after getting home from the pub absolutely hammered and building a fire in his wardrobe instead of the fire grate.

The fire services said he was a little worse for wear.
 

ASC1951

Guru
Location
Yorkshire
It was a slow news day. After the obligatory 25 minutes about the White Hell of Heathrow, all they could find to add on one bulletin was that there had been a tremor in Cumbria; and after much ringing round by Our Intrepid Reporters, the best they could come up with was someone is Eskdale who admitted that their Christmas cards had shaken and was clearly mystified why some poltroon from London was ringing him about it.
 

yello

Guest
Makes a change from pissing in the wardrobe I suppose. In fact, had he have done both then he could resolved his own problem... or suffered 1st degree burns to his todger.
 

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
I saw a poster the other day that suggested that a very large proportion (more than half, I think) of house fires involve drink - mostly people coming in hammered and putting a chip pan on and then falling asleep... Sounds like this chap was lucky...
 

ASC1951

Guru
Location
Yorkshire
I saw a poster the other day that suggested that a very large proportion (more than half, I think) of house fires involve drink - mostly people coming in hammered and putting a chip pan on and then falling asleep... Sounds like this chap was lucky...
Indeed. A man killed himself and his young son in Coventry last night doing just that.

And talking of pissing in the wardrobe, Yello, a friend of mine staying with his prospective in laws for the first time didn't want to disturb them by putting the lights on as he blundered along the landing. How he mistook the wickerwork lid of the laundry basket for wood I don't understand, nor the way it swayed underneath him as he sat on it, but disturb them he jolly well did. Just not until two days later.
 
OP
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vernon

vernon

Harder than Ronnie Pickering
Location
Meanwood, Leeds
My mother witnessed my kid brother using a chest of drawers as a toilet after he got in from a really heavy session. When she tackled him the next morning he blamed me!
 

turnout

New Member
My mate (ahem) got up in the night and lifted the plastic cover off his record player and pissed on it.

It was plugged in.
 
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OP
vernon

vernon

Harder than Ronnie Pickering
Location
Meanwood, Leeds
What was the vinyl on it at the time. It may have been a valid comment.

Sex Pisstols
 
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