Tube announcement

[red_tom]

Platform Guy at Canary Wharf: "This train, like many promising young football careers, terminates at West Ham"

 

[Globalti]

Ha ha! One I heard a few years ago at a suburban railway station in London: "The train approaching platform six is the ten fifteen to London bridge. Please stand back from the edge of the platform in case you fall off in surprise".

 

[Ste T.]

I was on a train to Southport a while back when the guard came in through the communicating door at the end of the carriage. As it shut behind him he slouched back against it with his hands in his pockets and looking around the passengers said " Right, let's do this the easy way shall we? Put your hand up if you haven't got a ticket."
Much mirth and chuckles all round. Nice way to start the day.

 

[rich p]

very good!

I heard a seismologist on R4 yesterday saying that he'd been studying the effects of volcano eruptions for the last 3000 years.

 

[Hop3y]

I was once on the Birmingham New Street to Manchester Virgin train, the driver over the tannoy said in a 300 styley, "We are now at our next stop! "THIS IS WIGAN!"

 

[subaqua]

loads here http://themole.site.aplus.net/#heroes

i have heard some cracking ones in the years i used the tube, most i have sadly forgotten

 

[Intelligenthamster]

There used to be a little Scottish guy on the Reading line platform at Clapham Junction who would be quite funny. On one evening of disruption he announced "Tonight's delays are due to a volcano on the line at Wandsworth Town" on the PA system.

 

[fossyant]

There was a chap in November at one of the tube stations who was quite funny..... can't remember what he was saying but it was about letting folk off, and the train not speeding off without you.

Nothing wrong with a bit of humor.