violent motorist gets surprise

[szygy]

I thought I'd share a story from about 4 years ago as some might find it amusing, I know I did.

My flat mate of the time was a chef with an occasional habit of becoming very paranoid (he was sectioned a couple of times), he was working at a pub on the other side of Norwich and used to get to work and back on his mountain bike. One night he was cycling back from work at about 11pm when a boy racer overtakes dangerously close. So my flatmate shouts come objection, at which point the car screeches to a halt, reverses a few yards before the driver gets out. He screams 'you f***ing ****, I am going to kick your head in' (or words to that effect).
My mate got off his bike and produced from the back of his trousers; a paint splattered 16 oz claw hammer. BTW he is about 6ft 3 with wide staring eyes and shoulder-length hair. This had the desired effect as apparently the angry chaps expression remained frozen in mid shout as he spun round and dived back into his car and wheelspins off into the night.
My mate came home telling the story as proof he was not paranoid, and carrying a hammer was a reasonable thing to do.

Anyway I guess that is one guy who will be more careful about trying to attack strangers in future.

 

[gaz]

i've heard of carrying guns in your lycra but not hammers with fake blood on.

 

[downfader]

When I was at college (have told this so many times before) there was a lad in my class who once walked in with a thick chain around his neck and a massive padlock on it. I reckon the padlock was a good 1kg of weight.

So I'm curious, I ask "whats the chain for then?" (paraphrased as this was yeeears back)

He replies "I use it for me bike!"

"But if you need to lock your bike with it, why is it still around your neck?"

"Not for locking. I swing it at the driver's rear window when they cut me up or get nasty." Apparently he'd taken out two windows like this.

There are some evil people about,and some ride bikes. Not something I would actually do (though I'm sure we've all fantasized). I just thought recently: what if a kid had been in those cars, they would have been showered with glass.

 

[szygy]

There are some evil people about, but to be fair my mate isn't one of them. Most of the time he is one of the nicest people you could know, but when he is ill he can be very scary.
I imagine the car driver was fond of fantasising about how hard he was; but I doubt that schizophrenic hammer-wielding cyclists featured in his imaginings.
The same goes for car drivers; you just don't know who may be driving around. I really try and not to shout at cars unless its a warning, I try but sometimes my adrenal gland gets the better of me.

 

[Molecule Man]

I used to work in an organic chemistry lab with someone a bit more subtle than that. He used to carry a little plastic bottle full of chloroform on his bike. If someone cut him up, he'd squirt some chloroform at the car, with aim of messing up the paintwork (not sure that actually works with car paint).

And then there was the guy in my college halls of residence, very big lad, played american football, who managed a few times to pull wing mirrors off cars that passed too close.

 

[szygy]

Hey I still work in an organic chem lab! I love the smell of chloroform, but I think that squirting it on cars could be 'administering a noxious substance' at worst or crim damage at best.

The best vengenge kit I have heard of was a guy who carried a small jar of vaseline+valve grinding paste around. Upon objecting to someones road manners he would apply this unhealthy balm to the wind screen of the offending vehicle and escape. There is no damage, until the motorist turns on their wipers....

 

[Rhythm Thief]

A water pistol filled with brake fluid will do no end of damage to paintwork, so I'm told. A friend of mine used to carry one in his car and squirt it out of the window at people who tailgated him on the motorway. The beauty of it is, they think it's just a water pistol until all their paint comes off the next morning.

 

[dodgy]

How do you squirt brake fluid at a following vehicle without risk of landing on your own?

 

[Bluescouse1]

A water pistol filled with brake fluid will do no end of damage to paintwork, so I'm told. A friend of mine used to carry one in his car and squirt it out of the window at people who tailgated him on the motorway. The beauty of it is, they think it's just a water pistol until all their paint comes off the next morning.

Thing about all this guys with the brake fluid and so forth
most morning I go out, you tend to see the same tussers caught up in the traffic
tailgating each other and pretending they cant see someone trying to get out their driveway..lol

so if you did do the paint jobby, they may well bew aiting for you the next morrow

By the way.. I notice your in Ross on Wye
are you any where near that butterfly farm of amazing hedge puzzle place

 

[slowmotion]

How do you squirt brake fluid at a following vehicle without risk of landing on your own?

James Bond's Aston Martin DB5 had an oil squirter which dumped a slick rearwards as an anti-persuit device. Maybe you could adjust the nozzle on the rear window washer.. .

 

[snailracer]

Thing about all this guys with the brake fluid and so forth
most morning I go out, you tend to see the same tussers caught up in the traffic
tailgating each other and pretending they cant see someone trying to get out their driveway..lol

so if you did do the paint jobby, they may well bew aiting for you the next morrow

By the way.. I notice your in Ross on Wye
are you any where near that butterfly farm of amazing hedge puzzle place

One advantage of being on a bike is that you can change your appearance by wearing different colour jacket and helmet, and ride your n+1 for a few days, too.

 

[tdr1nka]

*STOP PRESS*

Brake fluid no longer contains the 'paint stripping ingrediant.
The same effect can be achived with N*tr*m*r*s paint stripper.

 

[downfader]

One advantage of being on a bike is that you can change your appearance by wearing different colour jacket and helmet, and ride your n+1 for a few days, too.

True, and you can change your route too. But the first thing to do is not act like a c*ck and upset people imo.

There are some evil people about, but to be fair my mate isn't one of them. Most of the time he is one of the nicest people you could know, but when he is ill he can be very scary.
I imagine the car driver was fond of fantasising about how hard he was; but I doubt that schizophrenic hammer-wielding cyclists featured in his imaginings.
The same goes for car drivers; you just don't know who may be driving around. I really try and not to shout at cars unless its a warning, I try but sometimes my adrenal gland gets the better of me.

Fair play. I have family with health issues (bit hard to explain) and one with special needs.

Age cures the adrenal gland imo. I used to be really bad for my temper.

 

[gbb]

Dad told me this one a few years ago..
He was a fairly big fella when younger and used to drive a Morris Mini. Some guy cut him up on a roundabout, dad honked at him, the guy took umbrage and slammed his brakes on and jumped out of his car to confront dad, fists clenched.
Dad hauled himself out of the mini, the guy faltered a little when he saw how big he was (not that big, but not slight either)...then dad pulled out his false teeth and said to mum (who was in the passenger seat)...
'hold these for me will ya'

The guy wilted and skulked back to his car

 

[Bluescouse1]

One advantage of being on a bike is that you can change your appearance by wearing different colour jacket and helmet, and ride your n+1 for a few days, too.

Ahh..you have this all worked out...