Lol! Reminds me of an incident in the New Forest a few summers back (I wasn't stoned though!).
I was riding along with some friends; we came across a small stream, with a bridge over it, and a campsite on the other side. There were families having picnics in a sunny, grassy glade that came right up to the opposite river bank. My friends dismounted and walked over the bridge. Not me. "Heh!", thought I, "I'm going to bunny-hop this river so as to impress everyone picnicing on the opposite bank". So, with a smirk on my face and a swagger in my pedal stroke, I announced loudly to my friends, "I'm going to jump it", obviously loud enough so that the nearby picnickers would hear - they did, and stopped what they were doing to watch. I had an audience. I basked in their awe. My chest swelled with pride and I did one of those little head-wobbles that you do when you know you're the bee's knees. I aimed my carbon-fibre steed at the river, pumped hard on the pedals to get up to speed fast, approached the bank at about 20mph, got ready to pop the bike up into a big bunny hop, got ready to pull up the front wheel and push backwards on the pedals with perfect, graceful technique ... at precisely the wrong moment ... I had completely misjudged the position of my front wheel, which just at the moment when I was
about to pull up on the handlebars, was perched precariously over thin air with the stream about 4 feet below. I had overshot the bank. I had a split second in which to realise exactly what was about to happen before it actually happened ... I was suddenly plumeting downward towards the stream at what seemed like far too great a speed. I entered the stream ... and discovered that the bottom was like quick-sand - only it was mud! The bike disappeared almost completely into the mud, and I was entirely immersed, except my head! Cue raucous laughter from my audience as I extricated my bike and myself from the stream, beetroot red in the face and looking for all the world like the bogwoppit ... and my God, that mud absolutely stank!!