What are you going to die of?

[sackville d]

Alzheimers seems to run in my mums side and I`m a dead ringer for her so...which reminds me.

Man goes to doctors to get results of some tests.

Doc. "I`ve some bad news.You have heart disease and could die at any time"

Man."Thats terrible Doc.Have you found anything else?"

Doc."Yes,you have Alzheimers as well."

Man."Bloody Hell.Oh well,at least I won`t die of a heart attack!"

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

I've had brain damage, Leukaemia and Ulcerative Colitis, so I'll probably get hit by a bus or something.

 

[Gravity Aided]

My father had prostate cancer, quadruple bypass heart surgery, leukemia and a bad fall. At 83, he felt sick walking his usual 2 miles in the morning, and checked himself into the hospital, arriving on foot. The hospital called his 94 year old GP and told him of this, and he told them to admit him, he must be sick if he wants to go hanging around a hospital. He died of heart and pulmonary failure a day or so later. All other men in our family died of arteriosclerosis or the such like before 60. My GP seems to think I'll beat my fathers' record.
@Mad Doug Biker , I promise not to hit you with my bus.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

My father had prostate cancer, quadruple bypass heart surgery, leukemia and a bad fall. At 83, he felt sick walking his usual 2 miles in the morning, and checked himself into the hospital, arriving on foot. The hospital called his 94 year old GP and told him of this, and he told them to admit him, he must be sick if he wants to go hanging around a hospital. He died of heart and pulmonary failure a day or so later. All other men in our family died of arteriosclerosis or the such like before 60. My GP seems to think I'll beat my fathers' record.
@Mad Doug Biker , I promise not to hit you with my bus.

I'll be looking out for buses if I ever visit Illinois anyway!!

 

[Shut Up Legs]

I'd surrender my life's savings to know where I'm going to die.

Then I wouldn't go there.

I think my head's about to explode from that contradiction.

 

[Gravity Aided]

I'll be looking out for buses if I ever visit Illinois anyway!!

You should visit. It is a nice place.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

You should visit. It is a nice place.

Not if there's any buses near me!

 

[Gravity Aided]

Automobile drivers are much more dangerous around here, mainly because they are so numerous.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Automobile drivers are much more dangerous around here, mainly because they are so numerous.

Same here too. Humans in their tin cans maiming and killing others, my my, don't you just love the Human race??

Anyway, yes I'm sure I'll visit eventually, but the whole gun thing also puts me off a bit. Yes I know the chances of being shot are small I'm still a little irrational about it.

 

[PaulB]

According to hitherto very accurate predictions, I'm going to die at 94 years old of sexual exhaustion from trying to satisfy the latest intake of student nurses at my local hospital. And I was astounded to read that the year I turn 94 is the very same year my local hospital insist on all student nurses from that intake have to be lingerie models. Oh well, if you've got to go you've got to go I suppose.

 

[stephec]

According to hitherto very accurate predictions, I'm going to die at 94 years old of sexual exhaustion from trying to satisfy the latest intake of student nurses at my local hospital. And I was astounded to read that the year I turn 94 is the very same year my local hospital insist on all student nurses from that intake have to be lingerie models. Oh well, if you've got to go you've got to go I suppose.

If you don't want to take the risk I'll be your stunt double?