What 'daft' DIY error have you made (with amusing outcome, rather than disastrous!)

[Fastpedaller]

Here's mine from yesterday. At my Daughters, I'd fitted a new door to the bathroom and set about fitting the door handles and latch. I fitted the strike plate to the doorframe and placed some masking tape on the inside of the door, marking a line 'about central' from the strike plate to the centre of the hole where the spindle is intended to fit. I drilled into the edge of the door and then attacked it with the chisel. Several trial - fittings later I had the latch in place. I checked the alignment of the latch to the striker by closing the door.
Oops! I was trapped. My Wife and Daughter were in the garden, so I opened the window and told them what I'd done. Much hilarity , but how do we get you out?
A ball of string was thrown up to my window with one end held at ground level. Thankfull that I'd marked the centre for the spindle, I asked them to get the 14mm drill bit from just outside my door, along with the cordless drill, and the square spindle for the latch. These were put into a carrier bag attached to the string, and I lifted the escape kit up to my window, drilled the hole in the door and was able to insert the square spindle and turn it to effect an escape. Much easier than Colditz or a jailbreak

 

[sevenfourate]

I once bought a replacement car number plate. And upon inspection the quality was poor. And the face of it was quite dull. No issues…..I’ll set about it with some car polish - hell: I’ve successfully polished Plastic before.

Much vigour, rubbing and aching arms ensued. And I couldn’t understand it. It was literally not changing ! Certainly not getting any better 🤷‍♂️

Then the polishing cloth slipped and I ran right across and around a corner. And something ‘flicked up’ ?

Yea……like the clear protective film covering the face was what flicked up. The same one I’d been polishing for the last 1/2 hour 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

 

[Drago]

Many moons ago I lost a roof tile in high winds.

I couldn't get an exact match, so as a temporary measure I retrieved the pieces of the old tile and glued it together with Sikaflex (the stuff modern cars are bonded together with) and then bonded the jigsaw tile back up on the ridge.

A week later the new tile arrived, and I climbed up the ladder to fit it only to find the old tile was stuck solid and wouldn't shift. Not wanting to resort to explosives I left it there and 15 years later it was still in place when I sold the house.

 

[presta]

Here's mine from yesterday. At my Daughters, I'd fitted a new door to the bathroom and set about fitting the door handles and latch. I fitted the strike plate to the doorframe and placed some masking tape on the inside of the door, marking a line 'about central' from the strike plate to the centre of the hole where the spindle is intended to fit. I drilled into the edge of the door and then attacked it with the chisel. Several trial - fittings later I had the latch in place. I checked the alignment of the latch to the striker by closing the door.
Oops! I was trapped. My Wife and Daughter were in the garden, so I opened the window and told them what I'd done. Much hilarity , but how do we get you out?
A ball of string was thrown up to my window with one end held at ground level. Thankfull that I'd marked the centre for the spindle, I asked them to get the 14mm drill bit from just outside my door, along with the cordless drill, and the square spindle for the latch. These were put into a carrier bag attached to the string, and I lifted the escape kit up to my window, drilled the hole in the door and was able to insert the square spindle and turn it to effect an escape. Much easier than Colditz or a jailbreak

I did something very similar to that once.

The lock on my French window became jammed and needed replacing, so I had to cut through the bolt with the pad saw to get the door open. Having finished cutting it I turned the door handle and found that the catch wasn't working either, which puzzled me, as it had been fine. Anyhow, I set about cutting through that as well, and then when I'd finished I realised that I'd taken the handle off the inside, and removed the spindle.

I retrieved the pieces of the old tile and glued it together with Sikaflex (the stuff modern cars are bonded together with) and then bonded the jigsaw tile back up on the ridge

When I had my fascia and soffit replaced, the contractor couldn't be bothered putting up staging over the coal place roof, so they just walked all over the tiles and broke them. When I complained, they first accused me of doing it, then glued all the bits together with bath sealer. He summoned his manager for support, but he saw it my way, and made him replace them.

 

[Chris S]

One of my colleagues didn't realize that the adhesive strips on the back of car number plates stick instantly. He thought he would be able to wriggle it about a bit for the first few seconds. He couldn't and had a slightly skewed plate on the back of his car for as long as he owned it.

 

[Electric_Andy]

I was putting up a curtain rail. Assumed the electrical wire ran down to the skirting. It didn't, it ran up. I successfully put 2 screws through it. Electrician came, I said the dog did it

 

[Gillstay]

We do target shooting in the pub. Went on the wrong night. Being the only guy in the pub with a rifle feels a bit bad American and quite uncomfortable. Much better when there are 30 of us.

 

[Drago]

We do target shooting in the pub. Went on the wrong night. Being the only guy in the pub with a rifle feels a bit bad American and quite uncomfortable. Much better when there are 30 of us.

Pubs with air rifle ranges used to be really common way back when. Chap I know lives in a converted pub near Kettering and the range is still present.

 

[DRM]

I built a wooden Love Seat for the garden, however it went pear shaped when i attached the seats to the wrong sides of the triangular table, so instead of facing in, they faced outwards, unfortunately Mrs DRM spotted the error, before I could take it apart to put it right, from that moment on, it's now known as the Divorce Seat!

 

[Andy in Germany]

Not exactly DIY but carpentry related so close enough. Once during my apprenticeship, we went to an apartment where the previous occupant was a dwarf, so several sections of the kitchen unit were very low. As the next occupant was rather tall, they had decided that these needed to be raised to the normal height. They also wanted them fitted in exactly the right place to provide an unbroken surface across the kitchen.

Work units are heavy, so The Master Carpenter decides to send the apprentice, ie, me underneath to hold the thing up while he screws the fixtures into place. That way he had both hands free and, as he puts it, if the whole thing collapses before he can fasten the screws, there are plenty more apprentices out there.

This plan fails as the work unit is bigger than me in all directions and I can’t support it all at once: a bit like the little Dutch boy on the dam, wherever I hold it another corner drops.

Seeing the problem. The Master Carpenter holds the front of the work unit steady, and holds the back up with his size 43 boot resting on a handy radiator. This results in him lying on his back on the floor. It also leaves half of the work unit unsupported.

Seeing this, I slide into the same position on the other end of the work unit: hands at the front, holding it straight, boot supporting the back. Great. Everything in position. Master Carpenter instructs me to get the drill.

Drill is on the worktop.

Multilingual swearing fails to magically bring drill any closer.

Try reaching for drill. As my shoulders are braced on the floor this is less than effective.

As I flap about knocking things onto the floor, I’m just thinking it is fortunate that the customer isn’t seeing this, when they decide to come and check how we are doing…

 

[Regular.Cyclist]

I had a car where the exhaust holed very near the front box. With a new exhaust costing what the car was worth I stuck some gun gum on it. That dried hard and failed within a week.

With an upcoming MOT, out of desperation, I stuck some blutack on the hole. The car sailed through the MOT and the blutack was still there, and working, 3 years later when I traded the car in for a new one.

 

[Time Waster]

I had a disastrious leak down the inside wall of the bathroom in my old house and down into the kitchen below. It was torrential rain so I had to think fast. So I knew I could not go outside to do anything on the roof so I thought I would try the loft. head torch and some mucky clothes on I went up there and looked around. The main part of the house was sound but this leak came of the bit that went off the back of the main part of the house. TRouble was it was a lot lower roof so I fount the opening to get in there and off I went with some black mastic for sealing metal down pipes and gutters. I had it all cut and in a mastic gun ready to go, a screwdriver, stanley knife and some clear plastic sheet taken from a heavy duty plastic bag I kept my kayaking kit in.

So down I went through this tight squeeze using gravity to help me. I stuck the plastic sheet out the gap and over the slightly slipped tile then put mastic in there and pulled the tile up and stuck it with the black gloop getting completely messed up by this exceptionally sticky stuff. Then I turned to go out. Oh shoot!! How did I get through that hole?? I tried one contortion after the next and I was stuck. Panic crossed my mind and I started to get frantic. Eventually I got through the gap and and out getting hurt in the process. I also then realised that I was covered in black gloop, cobwebs, glued on spiders and ancient / broken up bits of old rockwool type of insulation. What a mess! I ended up throwing away my t-shirt.

The good thing was that bodge job lasted about 8 or 10 years when it finally got replaced with a new stretch of roof after another tile nearby failed.

When we had the outside rendered about then the plasterer got a shock from the overhead power supply so the electricity company got Electricity northwest in to fit the new connection. The meter was inside in that end of the house so that had to be moved into the outside shed as they could not put it inside now due to codes or something. So ENW does not do inside. The electrician company brought in got the junior sparky to go into that same gap. I thought they would get a shorty to do it but this guy was about my height and size (196cm and high 90kgs!! I felt sorry for him, but was glad as I never wanted to go back in there. I think I was lucky to get out!!

PS I found that plastic sheet and some kind of mastic was particularity effective at patching an old slate roof from the inside as I had done it in a few places. All of them lasted 8 or so years too!!

 

[johnblack]

Pubs with air rifle ranges used to be really common way back when. Chap I know lives in a converted pub near Kettering and the range is still present.

Still shoot air rifles in one near me, not regularly but a few times a year, they use the petanque court that has been there forever.

 

[fossyant]

Fitting a carpet in our bedroom. Needed to push the carpet under the skirting, so held onto the radiator, pushed with feet, and the radiator came off the wall in my hands pulling the mounts out of the plaster board wall. Fortunately, the radiator pivoted on the connections rather than damaging the pipes. Mucho swearing.

Another issue, creaky floor boards in bedroom. MrsF wanted them fixing, so very carefully screwed a few down, then 'psssst'. In one location the central heating pipes were directly below the floor boards. Panic, ripped up the floor boards, towels down and called an emergency plumber.

 

[Time Waster]

Oh a latest project was finishing off the hatch to the loft. The installers put a new one in to code and never came back to finish the surrounds (architraves IIRC). The argument being the ceiling needed a plasterer to make good around it first. So I had to do it. I bought a mitre boix to use with a mitre saw I had. Only when it arrived it was too small to use. Well B&Q site is not clear on the size was my excuse.

Anyway as it turns out the opening was not 100% square anyway so I measured it all out and marked the wooden profiled architraves out then cut by freehand. I measured 20 times and cut once I was so paranoid of messing up. Plus I really wanted to do a good job.

It all went up, the architrave mastic / glue bought was not strong enough to hold it, guess the wood was bowed out. Anyway I got some long enough panel pins and they seemed to hold then well enough and the pin heads disappeared into the wood too so once painted you would never know. So job complete and I have still not painted it. i need to fill a mm or so gap in a few corners which is not bad really considering it was all measured and it was nowhere near square. Anyway it looks ok as it turns out. I am quite pleased with it and it will not show once sanded and painted.

So what is the issue? 6 months later I was looking in the top cupboard of the boiler cupboard for something so opened the door wide to let the light in to see properly. Clunk! The door hit the architrave. It only opens less than 90 degrees! Not my fault, it is the fact that the hatch was a lot larger than previously, to code apparently. Short of no architrave (that TBH was at most 19mm thick) I think it would always have caught like that. However you do not think when doing such a job. Perhaps I could have used something plain, flat and not profiled instead??