What should I burn in a chimenea?

[PaulB]

I have some matches somewhere and am quite willing to come help. I promise I won't inhale.

Bake it?

 

[Cp40Carl]

The souls of cyclists who wear the Team Sky kit on their daily commute.

And Pokemon Hunters.

 

[SteCenturion]

Chimenea Sweeps from Landan Village

 

[stephec]

Chimenea Sweeps from Landan Village

Cor blimey me old china!

Do you mean like this bloke?

 

[Cp40Carl]

Jimmy Hill's chin.

(Chin chimeni, chin chimeni...)

 

[stephec]

Has anyone suggested Catholics?

We started with witches so that might be the natural progression.

 

[PeteXXX]

I like toasting a marshmallow, or better still, a bit of crumpet in front of my chimnea.

 

[Markymark]

Loose £5 and £10 notes.

 

[Yellow Saddle]

Loose £5 and £10 notes.

I've tried that but those new plastic ones really stink when you pile them on the fire. Nothing like old money, I say.

 

[Markymark]

Yeah but that @Markymark is a bit of a cheapskate and needs to step up to £10 and £20.

I keep £20 notes to throw on the ground to distract northerners if they try and talk to me.

 

[Kestevan]

Dear old Vernon,would have been glad to advise.He loved setting fire to things.

Yeah, but his advice would probably have involved thermite, napalm and rocket fuel..... and would have ended in tears (of laughter).

 

[byegad]

No but I'm with Lord Havelock Vetinari on the subject of mimes and street entertainers, as I am with his policy of one man, one vote. So long as I'm the man!

 

[byegad]

Iedit...
As for smoke upsetting neighbours ... I didn't realise how far away smoke can cause annoyance until I spent 9 days in a ward in hospital in Halifax. I was on the 2nd or 3rd floor of the building, probably 75 metres away from an area of the car park which was the hospital's only designated smoking area. Some of the windows at the side of the ward were open during daylight hours and as a result there was always a strong smell of cigarette smoke in there.

As a life long non smoker and asthma sufferer* I can vouch for how far cigarette smoke carries and how it lingers on smokers clothing.

*One of the triggers for which is tobacco smoke!

 

[ColinJ]

As a life long non smoker and asthma sufferer* I can vouch for how far cigarette smoke carries and how it lingers on smokers clothing.

*One of the triggers for which is tobacco smoke!

I don't suffer from asthma, but I was in hospital with seriously clotted lungs so I didn't appreciate extra irritation from the smoke!

One old guy in the ward leaned out of the window and lit up a cigarette! The wind blew the smoke straight back in. He got a right telling off from the nurses ...

 

[cyberknight]

Local news. women burnt in a patio heater accident .
Turns out they were refuelling it while it was alight , i feel sorry here but when they tried to claim a safety hazard with it even though the instructions clearly state to wait till its off and cool............