What should I do? Help please..

[midliferider]

I would like your view on this dilemma that I am faced with.
I have a middle aged female friend, a well educated professional professional but had to take early retirement due to serious mental health problems.
She is single and is constantly on numerous dating websites. She find men, invite them to her house sometime even on first day. We sometimes talk about it but she is relatively safe as she usually find professional men.
Now she has found a man from Eastern Europe and he wants to start a business with her. She now tell me that he has asked for money. I think she has already done worried about further bequest. That is why she told me. Obviously I said do not give.
But if this man continue to visit her and take money, is there anything I can do?

My problem is that she has serious mental health problems, has been sectioned couple of times during last 2 years, was not allowed to drive for few months. So she is very vulnerable. Should I call police or mental health services?

 

[midlife]

Tricky, does she have a PSN / community mental nurse (or what they are called nowadays) you could contact?

Medical personnel have a duty to report it as its an adult safeguarding issue. And yes, as its a safeguarding issue you can call the police.

Shaun

 

[midliferider]

Yes she does have a CPN as she has told me about CPN visits.
Perhaps I can ring local mental health trust and see whether I can contact them.

 

[midlife]

Yes she does have a CPN as she has told me about CPN visits.
Perhaps I can ring local mental health trust and see whether I can contact them.

Yes you can ring the nurse, there is no confidentiality problems as its a safeguarding issue. I know I harp on about the word safeguarding but you need to mention it in your call. Incidentally your call is confidential and your friend doesn't automatically get told its you.

Shaun

 

[midlife]

[QUOTE 3968251, member: 76"]The local authority will have a safeguarding number, hold on...... http://www3.northamptonshire.gov.uk/councilservices/adult-social-care/safe/Pages/default.aspx there you go, one form and done. Good luck[/QUOTE]

Good find, I didn't know all authorities had them, thanks.

Shaun

 

[DCLane]

Deleted by a moderator - relates to a deleted post

To the op - like others suggest there should be a social worker monitoring her. Report it to the police or social services using safeguarding.

 

[midliferider]

Thank you for all your advice.
Previously I have openly discussed about she inviting male friends to her home. She does not feel that she is a victim etc. She says that they provide her company for few days, she enjoys the experience and it is mutual benefit. We talked about safety and she usually tell me or another family member about who she is meeting. We text to make sure she is safe.
But this time the worry is the money.
So I feel bit uneasy.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Tell her to tell him that business and love do not mix, he should ask for a bank loan.
Most mental ill people are not stupid, there is the "love is blind" factor to consider though, and the emotional blackmail factor too "if you loved me you would ....".
This is not necessarily a problem related to your friend's mental health.
What could deter the alleged money grabber would be that he sees the woman is not alone, that she has friends, family that could see the (presumed) scam.
So, organize a night out with the couple, ideally with some of her male family, be friendly with this man, ask for his mobile, where he works, more details abut this business he wants to open, maybe offer to share business contacts.
Keep in contact after the night out, invite him to the pub, make him feel that the woman is not lone pray.
Good luck, I think you're ace for caring.

 

[midlife]

There is a specific safeguarding issue over money, it applies to relatives trying to get money, carers taking it, third parties taking advantage, manipulation of Wills / pribate and the like. Simply report it, there should be a well oiled process in place.

Shaun

 

[SD1]

There is a specific safeguarding issue over money, it applies to relatives trying to get money, carers taking it, third parties taking advantage, manipulation of Wills / pribate and the like. Simply report it, there should be a well oiled process in place.

Shaun

There clearly isn't otherwise my demented mother would be a lot better off and my brother and his daughter would be in jail. She has dementia but has capacity? So she can agree to being bullied!