What's the Maddest Thing That's Ever Happened to You?

[Sh4rkyBloke]

OMG - where to start???

I've run naked around a deserted ex-quarry pit which was then being used as a BMX track... as an added incentive my mate was firing at me with a pellet gun.

I half-inched a lifesized cardboard replica of Michael Jordan which was being used as a promotional thingy for when Space Jam was released - bearing in mind he's 6ft 6"... and it was from a crowded MacDonalds... at the end of the serving counter.... and the door was opposite and about 15ft away

Slid down a steep grass embankment and onto the sliproad of the A38 in Ripley, Derbyshire... on a tray.

Hung by one arm from a rusty railing which was by the side of a track which ran over a disused railway bridge... it was about a 40ft drop, I was trying to impress a girl.

Never taken drugs - how mad is that?!?!

I'm sure there's much, much more... but I can't think of it all at the moment.

 

[tdr1nka]

I was once mistaken for the singer Nick Cave, by the actor Harry Dean Stanton.

 

[Mr Pig]

These are brilliant! Keep them coming :0)

 

[Baggy]

Aged 19, freewheeled down a very steep hill on a Trundle Toy causing its wheels (and me) to fall off.

Visited the wrong person in a hospital and didn't find out my mistake until we'd chatted for 10 minutes.

Forgot my hat and cycled home with a Sainsbury's carrier bag on my head.

Accepted a proposal of marriage 7 weeks into a relationship

 

[ComedyPilot]

Together with a load of other squaddies, I hijacked an ice-cream van in Germany about 1986. Let him go once we'd bought one. It was actually overtaking our convoy, so we boxed it in!

 

[Dayvo]

Made a sugar and weedkiller pipe bomb (several actually) and let it off in a sports field near a Telecom building. LITERALLY hundreds of windows were broken! It was 1974 - the police were called as they thought it might have been the IRA!

Four schoolboys were seen running into the distance pissing themselves laughing and shitting themselves at the same time!

 

[Mr Pig]

Made a sugar and weedkiller pipe bomb and let it off in a sports field

That is epic! :0)

I once made a mortar. Cut a slot in a steel pipe to light the firework trough with a bit of larger tube to slide down over the cut to seal it. So you put the firework in, then packing and marble for a projectile.

We had it stuck in the grass on the side of a hill but were struggling to get it lit because of the wind. Crowding around it we got it lit and ran back. Only then did we realise there was a woman walking up the other side of the hill! We shot her in the leg! Couldn't have done it if we'd tried. She wasn't a happy bunny, we ran away.

Not as cool as a pipe bomb though ;0)

 

[ComedyPilot]

Used to sit at the side of the London-Edinburgh line flattening pennies under the wheels of passing 'Inter-City' 125's.

 

[Aperitif]

I did the old sodium chlorate thing - but on a mere modest level in the back garden. I had read about it but could never get stuff to explode. I packed one of my Dad's 'Gold Block' tobacco tins with the deadly mixture and trailed a bit of jetex fuse from the tin. Placed the whole lot on the garden path and lit the fuse - not expecting much. No explosion again - but the ignition burned through the top of the tin and, in flame thrower fashion, ignited something polyester? on the washing line above.

My Mum didn't bowl at me for a couple of weeks after that...

 

[4F]

Umm In my youth (Joe_24 age) decided the best way to clean out the exhaust of my puch maxi was to remove the baffle, pour petrol on and set light to it however I had not intended to also set light to next door neighbours fence

 

[ComedyPilot]

Umm In my youth (Joe_24 age) decided the best way to clean out the exhaust of my puch maxi was to remove the baffle, pour petrol on and set light to it however I had not intended to also set light to next door neighbours fence

Thanks, just spat milk all over my keyboard.

 

[dangerousjules]

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for mi5. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on holiday in harrogate, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

 

[tdr1nka]

Used to sit at the side of the London-Edinburgh line flattening pennies under the wheels of passing 'Inter-City' 125's.

Once I was unceremoniously marched to the Headmistress's office having been caught putting 2p's through the school etching press, the result being a highly amusing, very thin and nearly foot long coin.

Owing to being a divot at the time I had no idea that I had actually caused serious damage to the press to the tune of a then £500, and for some of which, I would be responsible!!

During her reprimand my Headmistress confessed that, as a little girl, she had put coins on the railway line to squash them as well, so she recognised the temptation.

She then asked me if I had learnt from my mistake.

I answered, smiling, 'Oh yes Miss, and I'm also happy that my actions wouldn't have caused a potential crash or any resulting injuries.'

There was a short pause after which she thanked me rather curtly, and strangely nothing more was ever said?

 

[Joe24]

Umm In my youth (Joe_24 age) decided the best way to clean out the exhaust of my puch maxi was to remove the baffle, pour petrol on and set light to it however I had not intended to also set light to next door neighbours fence

Hmm, maddest things i did was:
Decide to canoe through a wave that was sticky. Ended up surfing it(not been properly taught) and then dropped my edge and i was shot over and spat out the wave. Bad experience, didnt come out straight away or roll back up.
Canoeing in a borrowed OC1(open canoe, a little stubby one for 'freestyle' and creeking, they get nicknamed bath tubs for good reason) i decided to go into the flow from an eddy and lean forward. Had done it a few times and had water in my boat. Got it right, nose sank right down(boat was 8ftsomething) and it was verticle. Ended up coming down and my paddle hit me in the mouth. Cut the inside of my mouth.
Went canoeing in my C1(small kayak i have pictured somewhere converted to canoe) when there was ice on the water. Decided it would be fun to go through it. A few low bangs then it started to get worse. Had to break all the ice with the paddle around the boat, turn around carfully and follow my track back out.
Seal launched my C1 off this ledge showing off, ended up flipping straight over, rolled back up again and got some bad head freeze, and water in my cag.
Oh, and when i had my little old blue singlespeed mountain bike the brakes were worn down too much. I decided it would be fine to have just metal there and rode it. While going fast along the pavement some kid came out an alley(just stuck his front wheel out) and i wacked it. Bent his forks round, threw me off mine and had to walk home.

 

[Night Train]

I used to attend and compete in off road driving events in Land Rovers. At one meet I decided not to compete as I had a big truck engine and gearbox in the back of my Land Rover Safari for my next project. So I ended up swaping my big chunky tyres with another club member, who was only on road tyres, so that he could compete.

While I was pottering around the site I came to a long, twisty, average 45 degree, drop down the side of a large hill. One of my friends struggled and failed to drive up it so I thought I would drive down to meet him. I'd forgotten about only being on little road tyres and having over half a ton of engine and gearbox in the back.

Over the edge I went, and I went, fast, barrelling down, no control, truck engine and gear box joining me in the front seats with only a scaffold pole and a bit of rope stopping it going any further and landing in my lap.

All my driving skill went into staying upright and facing the direction of motion until I got to the bottom.

The engine made a bit of a mess of the inside of my Land Rover. I nearly made a bit of a mess in my clothing but I wasn't going to admit that there so I got out looking .

I then had to attempt the drive up the slope a few times to try and unwedge and bounce the truck engine back in to the back of the vehicle.

It was amazing how funny it seemed to the others when I had to explain how I wrecked the inside of my Land Rover.