What't the most minging thing that's happened to you

[Greedo]

Mine is pretty minging to be honest.

Just reminded of this today for some reason.

About 3 years ago I went on a tiling course so I had a fair idea of what was involved and so I could talk to contractors and have half a clue what i was talking about and let them know I had a knowledge of tiling.

Anyway, I stayed in a B&B in South Sheilds and when I booked it I just assumed there would be an en suite as I had never stayed in a hotel where I never had one. Spoke to the old dear the day i got there and she said she could only move me to a room with an en suite 2 days later.

On the 2nd morning I went to the communal toilet in hall for a Barry White and outside there were a stack of magazine that workies had left as they seemed to be the bulk of the residents. Usual educational delights, Nuts, Zoo, Maxim, loaded etc.......

Anyway I grab the top one and plonk myself down on the toilet and start flicking through it. suddenly I feel my fingers are wet and sticky and then I get a whiff of a familiar scent.

Yip you've guessed it. Over 2 pages of some girl from big brother or something some other bloke very recently had relieved himself.

I think I washed my hand 100 times that day. I even ate my sandwich at lunchtime with a knife and fork!!!! The other folk on the course thought I was mental but I couldn't tell them as I'd only known them for a day. Keep in contact with 2 of them from the course and after a few nights out I told them.Every time I speak to one of them he answers the phone by saying "alright jizz hands"

 

[Fab Foodie]

I find the word 'minging' is without doubt one of the most minging words in the English language. It should be banned.
Just typing it is one of the nastiest things I've ever done.

 

[Aperitif]

Going for a pee in the public lavatories in Lexington Street W1.
Greedo's post pales into insignificance...and the audience haven't even paid to get in! Bloody disgusting.
This is worth 100 x , where = the tossers lurking down there. And I do mean tossers. Visitors to Londres - avoid at all costs.

 

[Wigsie]

Thats awesome Greedo (in a fecked up.. glad it happened to you not me kinda way).

Having said that, when I was 17/18 I was in a packed beach bar in Ibiza had done far to many tequilla slammers and was absolutely sh*t faced as I was propped up in the corner of the bar swaying and struggling to focus, there was a pint glass that was almost full of what looked like lager... took a sip... was not beer, I have never before or since tasted piss but am presuming thats what it was! promptly stumpled outside and forced myself to throw up! ahhhh brits abroad!

I also once dated a girl who whilst doing the London Marathon stopped in one of the porta loo's for a wee and was in such a rush and obviously soaked with sweat she didn't realise untill she was back running and someone commented on the smell that she had someone elses sh*t all over her hands! after that ahe always swore by wetting yourself rather than stopping off!

 

[Crackle]

I think Greedo makes this stuff up (the stories that is, not the ....y'know).

 

[Greedo]

I think Greedo makes this stuff up (the stories that is, not the ....y'know).

I swear it's true. why would I make that up for christ sake!

It hardly shed me in a great light!

 

[gbb]

Two for me..
Public toilets in Greece are rarer than hens teeth. We found one in Heraklion I stepped inside It was a portaloo type, it looked like someone had chucked a grenade in it. Dirty toilet paper all over, stinking and unbelieveably hot Too desperate not to use it...

Breaking up some cracked concrete flooring in a meat packing plant where the floors were wet from being washed down, a mix of water, mushed up blood, guts and slime.
Smacked the hell out of it with reg the sledge...unfortunately, as i was breaking up the concrete, the slime was working into the loose stuff. I gave it an almighty whack and the sludge underneath shot out and went straight into my nostils, eyes and face.
I near puked. i could smell it for an eternity

 

[upsidedown]

Went to the toilets in Gelsenkirchen camp site the morning after England had been beaten by Portugal in the 2006 World Cup.

How do people perch that high ?

 

[Globalti]

I was queueing for a domestic flight in Karachi when I suddely got that watery feeling in my guts and knew I had to go..... NOW! Dashed to the bogs in this brand new marble terminal and found that somebody had been standing on the seat. No worry, I just dropped my kegs and bent over then let rip. Ah, the relief.... but hang on, there was no sound of hot water pouring into the bowl as I expected. Looked round and realised that it had shot out horizontally and the lot had hit the wall and was running down the back of the bog like Bisto. Now I knew how the French do it in those camp site hole in the floor bogs.

So I grabbed the Muslim bottom wash hose and tried to clean it up, which just made it worse really; there was this pool of gravy spreading outwards from the back wall, everything was dripping and stinking. So I abandoned the place and went to wash my hands. There was this young Pakistani lad shuffling around with his mop, probably quite proud to be the sweeper in this brand new marble terminal. As I left the bogs I glanced back and he had just got to my trap and opened the door.... and was staring aghast at the mess, his jaw drooping. I just shrugged apologetically and made off as fast as I could. Divine retribution really for all the disgusting bogs I had suffered in Pakistan.

 

[Ashaman42]

I was camping a couple years ago at the bottom of alpe d'huez and had wandered off for a shower, halfway through showering I noticed something sticky under my foot.... yeo, some bloke had relieved himself and it hadn't all washed away

Well it was half a bottle of shower gel before I could even consider my foot anywhere near clean.

 

[snapper_37]

This thread is just not good first thing on a morning I can't believe how disgusting some blokes are to just knock one out and leave the mess. Yuk!!!

Probably the worst to happen to me is getting hit full in the face by burst, steaming pig intestine.

 

[NormanD]

While working in a horse racing yard, every so often the horses would be given some stuff to rid them of tape worms. Now this powder is lethal as it turns normal horse manure (firm) into jet propelled liquid ooze

well I don't think I have to go into much detail other than to say upon entering the horse box, I was showered with the stuff, but not only that, while trying to contort my body to avoid most the liquid fertilizer I ended up loosing my footing (slippy floor) and rolling in an even larger amount on the floor.

did I not enjoy working that morning

 

[Fnaar]

Saw some very icky things during my nursing days... but the worst has to be Christmas morning on a ward, me with hangover, old fella calls me over (he's bedridden) and says "I think I've solied myself". Draw the curtains round, pull back the bedclothes, and he's plastered in cr@p, from chest to knee. Guess who had to clean that up...

 

[tyred]

I went to use a public phone box in Dublin. It was dark and the light inside it wasn't working. I picked up the receiver, it felt a bit odd, sort of rubbery, damp and clammy. I used my lighter to have a look at it. I realised someone had pulled a used condom over the top of the receiver and like Greedo, I found myself repeatedly washing my hands anywhere I seen a sink for the next few days.

 

[jonny jeez]

15 years old (pre Mrs Jeez) at a house Party In Dartford (very glam) me and my new "lady" were both experimenting with colt 45 (remember that stuff...really malty)

we got pissed, got amourous & I went on for a kiss, opened my mouth and got a mouthfull of vomit from her.

It continued down my new shirt and trousers.

I spent the whole night in a bedroom, cleaning my teeth with someone elses toothbrush while my shirt and trousers were drying on the rad (I washed them in the bath!!)

a great night.