When does shyness become ignorance?

[rich p]

I've just spent an afternoon in the company of a nephew, my FiL and MiL. Grandma talks the hindleg off a donkey albeit that it's 90% bollix. She was hogged by Mrs rp doing Mother's Day duties while I got lumbered with the two males. Given that I've known these people for 40 years and 25 years respectively you'd think that they could initiate one conversation in 3 hours.
My wife sympathises but says that they're just shy. To me it verges on pig-ignorance or at the very least laziness. Ah well!

 

[Noodley]

meanwhile, at the in-laws:

"Thank god that gobby bastard has gone home"

 

[fossyant]

Shy, after 40/25 years ? Should have plied a few ales down you all !

 

[fossyant]

Are you the evil Son In Law though ?

 

[Dayvo]

Never mind, Rich, it'll soon be Father's day!

 

[Night Train]

After 25 and 40 years you've not figured out that they just don't want to talk much, or at all to you?
Not sure it is them who are ignorant of something.




I am pretty shy, I am definitely not ignorant, but I do pick and choose with whom I will expend energy and time conversing with and some people are just not worth the effort.

 

[rich p]

Are you the evil Son In Law though ?

Maybe he's sitting there, teeth gritted, thinking "I'll outlive the bastard, that'll teach him to fondle my daughter"

Never mind, Rich, it'll soon be Father's day!

My blood relations talk plenty as you know mate!

 

[rich p]

After 25 and 40 years you've not figured out that they just don't want to talk much, or at all to you?
Not sure it is them who are ignorant of something.




I am pretty shy, I am definitely not ignorant, but I do pick and choose with whom I will expend energy and time conversing with and some people are just not worth the effort.

No idea what your point is but they're classed as shy and introverted so they seem to think it's okay to come round here, eat and drink and expect me to start all the conversations.
They call it 'shy' - I'm inclined towards 'rudeness'.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Sound like a pair of tossers!

 

[Night Train]

No idea what your point is but they're classed as shy and introverted so they seem to think it's okay to come round here, eat and drink and expect me to start all the conversations.
They call it 'shy' - I'm inclined towards 'rudeness'.

No point really, no offense meant either, but I guess some people make a big thing of conversation, others don't.

I know plenty of people who can talk for hours at a time and yet share very little information, relative to the amount of words used, and a few people who hardly say a word but, when said, that word is important, has meaning and gravitas and does all it needs to do and no more.

People are just different.

 

[Noodley]

...they seem to think it's okay to come round here, eat and drink and expect me to start all the conversations.

Dinnae give them any food or drink next time they visit, and I'm sure you'll find out they are not as "shy" as they make out.

 

[Brains]

No idea what your point is but they're classed as shy and introverted so they seem to think it's okay to come round here, eat and drink and expect me to start all the conversations.
They call it 'shy' - I'm inclined towards 'rudeness'.

I have similar issue with my FiL. Nice bloke, but we have very little in common, he like football, lawn boles, Golf and all sorts of ball sports.
He know as much about mountaineering, cycling, sailing, the shipping industry, skiing and other non-ball outdoor sports as I do about Football.
That is to say zero.
So it's very difficult to initiate any conversation when there is so little common ground.

 

[lukesdad]

Im shy and introverted..... just like you !

 

[col]

If you can share silent time with someone and not feel uncomfortable with it, youve found good company.

 

[MontyVeda]

I'm pretty crap at starting conversations... I'll be in a social situation any if the conversation lulls I'm racking my brains trying to think of something to say, but being adept at biting my lip I tend to mentally talk myself out of whatever dull or potentially inappropriate conversation topic pops in to my head... so I do tend to worry that I'm coming across as ignorant when the reality is more a lack of confidence.