Why do witty and apt responses only come to you afterwards!

[u9ge]

I had some idiot with an open face helmets on one of those large scooters (L plates on) blocking my path while filtering through stationary traffic this morning. He then starts looking around and trying to back up into me to go around the other side of the car we’re next to (would need to back up at least 2 metres). He ends up saying to me “what do you think I’m trying to do?” and then some crap insults as I manoeuver around him to go through the gap he didn’t have a hope in hell of fitting through.

All I could do was murmour some crap about ‘have a good day’

Not in answer to his question.

“Get enough self respect and money to get a motorbike”

Or

“let me through the gap you’ve stupidly blocked”

 

[gavintc]

I totally agree. I was getting off the train at Glasgow Qn St and a rather rotund woman insisted on getting on before I had got off the train. I said excuse me, she then said 'bloody cyclists'. I was a little too slow. But as I hit the platform, I suddenly realised that what I should have said was 'well if you were not so fat, we both could get through this doorway'. Moment gone. She did piss me off.

 

[Tinuts]

Or some comment about letting passengers off the train first - amazing how many people just don't get that.

 

[gaz]

The train thing really piss's me off. if i can see someone is getting on before i've gotten off. then i will purposley walk into them. It's the same with shops or any building, if someone is inside and coming out, and your going in, it's only polite to let them out first.

 

[John the Monkey]

... Glasgow Qn St and a rather rotund woman insisted on getting on before I had got off the train. I said excuse me, she then said 'bloody cyclists'. I was a little too slow.

Bizarre how impatient people are.

I waited for one chap to leave the train I was joining - the dolt didn't look where he was going and had to make a slight avoiding action as he moved along the platform (I'd not moved at all since the train got in, waiting for everyone to get off before I got on, leaving plenty of space for people LOOKING WHERE THEY WERE GOING). He said "Bloody cylists" on seeing me too. I told him I'd be happy to run the bike into him instead of waiting for him next time.

 

[fossyant]

I am the same - never think of a response....

I did shout rather loudly at a car this morning, that was trying to squeeze past me, within elbow distance......"too close" I shouted...driver backed right off as we approached the back of a traffic jam...

 

[garrilla]

I'm great at coming up with retorts after the fact but, like everyone else, I'm usually too busy concentrating on hard on keeping alive to be instantaneously witty.

 

[swee'pea99]

I totally agree. I was getting off the train at Glasgow Qn St and a rather rotund woman insisted on getting on before I had got off the train. I said excuse me, she then said 'bloody cyclists'. I was a little too slow. But as I hit the platform, I suddenly realised that what I should have said was 'well if you were not so fat, we both could get through this doorway'. Moment gone. She did piss me off.

Surely 'bloody fat people' would have done.

 

[HobbesChoice]

My response to a stupid action wasn't at all witty but did have me giggling for the next couple of miles. Some idiot had stepped into the road and on seeing me cycling up just stood on the white line of the cycle lane turning his back on me and chatting to his friends who were still standing on the pavement. As I got really close to him I shouted "BIIIIIBBBBB" quite loudly into the back of his head. I'm now considering entering him into the 2012 high jump olympics. That man can fly !!!!!

 

[Wheeledweenie]

s I got really close to him I shouted "BIIIIIBBBBB" quite loudly into the back of his head. I'm now considering entering him into the 2012 high jump olympics. That man can fly !!!!!

How do you pronounce that?

I often shout 'Boo!' or a hearty 'Hello!' at peds crossing in stupid places and not seeing me. THe ones on mobiles jump the highest.

 

[mr Mag00]

dunno i'll get back to you on this

 

[jimboalee]

That train thing happened to me several times in the ten years I used the trains.

Just push through with bike held off the ground. They know they can't get on before I'm off so if they don't offer any room, scrape pedal up kneecap and they soon get the message.

 

[jonny jeez]

I'm always useless at coming back with witty remarks "on demand".

except on the one occassion...I was in the car with Missus Jeez when we noticed a big old unit rolling along the pavement (all 20 stone of her)...Having been out on the lash a few times of recent, My missus remarked that if she carried on the way she was going she'd look like that soon.

I replied..."why?, you going on a diet?".

my nut's ached for about 4 hours.

 

[u9ge]

I replied..."why?, you going on a diet?".

my nut's ached for about 4 hours.

Now that's a high risk strategy!

 

[Brains]

The French and Germans have a term for this L'esprit de l'escalier
There are books on the subject

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L'esprit_de_l'escalier