Why I'm reluctant to join Facebook…

[CharlieB]

Not sure if this should be in The Electric Café, and it's not so much a diatribe, more advice sought, please.

Someone I met on holiday emailed me via Facebook last night, inviting me to join up, so they could share their photos with me.
For a fraction of a nanosecond, I was seriously considering it - I'd got on well with the people I'd met, and I'd like to see the pix.

Then, further down the email, a panel headed 'Other people you may know on Facebook' drew me up sharply. There are at least 16 people listed and their mugshots shown. I assume those individuals have at some stage searched my name? All of whom I know (some in a couple of voluntary organisations I work for, unsurprisingly), but some from way back I never want to see or hear from again.

So my question is this:
Am I correct in surmising that the moment I sign up, all those people will be pinged, telling them I've signed up?
Holy 5h1t!

 

[Globalti]

There's NO WAY I would ever publicise my personal details or my picture on any networking site. Firstly because these things are still new and we have no idea yet what the consequences will be of such indiscretion and secondly because it's vanity, plain and simple.

 

[BenScoobert]

there are levels of security settings, just turn them all up to max, you then cant be searched

 

[fossyant]

You don't have to accept anyone - it doesn't tell them you are signed up, and they have to 'ask' to be friends. Some folk are hooked, me, I just pop in once in a blue moon and see what folk are up to. Just don't enter any private info, and keep the mandatory fields 'hidden'.

Too many folk post 'off on holiday' etc..... stupid....

If you sign up, just allow those folk you want to see the pics as friends - you'll get messages from time to time about people wanting to be 'friends' - just ignore them if you don't want to release your details - some folk are hell bent on getting as many friends as possible.

There are ex' classmates of my Wife who have asked to be my friend, even though they are on my wife's ignore list - nosey buggers.

We tend to use it to find out what our niece's and nephew's are up to as two aren't at home anymore.

 

[ELL]

I joined face book for a similar reason to why you are thinking of joining. met a couple on holiday got on well they looked at our pics we looked at theirs and we met up again. this was about 2 years ago and I haven't been on since.

I had a couple of old friends for many moons ago add me as a friend and then not talk to me so quickly discovered what a crock of sh*t it is. I still get friend requests now like this week I had one from a girl I sort of dated at school in year 8 for about a week if that. I find it a bit creepy that she would go on face book 11/12 years after we left the school (and tbh weren't friends after the split) and search for my full name to find me. I have no other friends from school on my face book even though I have had requests so it cant of been on the other people you may know thing.

Can you not look at their photos without joining? if not join up put in as little detail about your self as poss and then never use it again.

 

[Keith Oates]

A decision we don't have to make in China!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Deleted member 1258]

I'm on face book http://www.facebook.com/home.php? with links to http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=45925848647 and http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=106564314877 as others have said be sensible about what you put on there and make full use of their security settings. Friends are by request, you don't have to accept them, I've turned a few down. Also you can create a block list and block people from your page, I blocked a couple of people recently, they were constantly posting and in danger of swamping my page .

 

[rich p]

I'm on a site where it's not so easy to recognise you ,called

www.arsebook.com

 

[Hockeynut]

I believe it is possible for your new friends to send you a link to the photos, without you having to be signed up to FB. I'm on it, have been for quite some time, but still don't know how I feel about it.

 

[cookiemonster]

The only reason I'm on Facebook is so I can keep in touch with friends I have in Europe and, mainly, Asia.

Just set the security to maximum and you shouldn't have any problems

 

[Flying_Monkey]

there are levels of security settings, just turn them all up to max, you then cant be searched

Except that Facebook have progressively changed the default settings and made it harder and harder to find where and how you change them, and correspondingly made their privacy policy more and more complex and opaque. Facebook's aim is to maximise the commercial value of your personal information, with the hook that this is a useful interpersonal service, and whilst they are currently being held in check by the privacy laws and expectations of various countries, you can bet that they will keep trying to get around these things.

 

[darkstar]

A decision we don't have to make in China!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rubbish, you can till get on facebook if you use the right proxy, thats what I did when I was there anyway.


As for thinking that all of those people searching for you, then no thats not true. The will b listed as people you may know due to mutual friends on facebook. In any case, if you have your privacy settings set correctly, you won't give out any info you don't want!

 

[Piemaster]

I've found it useful to keep in touch with friends in the Company. Scattered far and wide as its a shipping company and homes are spread about the country geographically too

 

[biggs682]

cant understand why people want to give details away that could be read by some complete stranger or even worse by your employer

 

[mangaman]

Except that Facebook have progressively changed the default settings and made it harder and harder to find where and how you change them, and correspondingly made their privacy policy more and more complex and opaque. Facebook's aim is to maximise the commercial value of your personal information, with the hook that this is a useful interpersonal service, and whilst they are currently being held in check by the privacy laws and expectations of various countries, you can bet that they will keep trying to get around these things.

I agree.

In a weak and bored moment some years ago I signed up and have had several friend requests from people I'd rather avoid (Otherwise I'd be friends with them anyway in real life)

I've deactivated my account now.

I'm trying to minimise my on-line footprint - I have no store cards / credit cards / loyalty cards etc.

Unfortunately I'm still identifyable via this site I guess, but I operate under the principle, the fewere accounts you have all over the place, the less the hackers will bother.

A lot of people use the same password / PIN for everything and have membership of endless online sites.

I certainly wouldn't trust a random couple I met on holiday.