Spent 2 hours last night changing bike tyres, my thumbs are still sore.
Had a nasty gash in the front tyre, so thought I'd best swap it, I've got a "reasonably" good spare I can throw on till I can buy a new one......
It was freezing cold in the shed, and the Michelin Lithiums are bloody tight so the tyre was a swine to remove. Thought I'd prefer the better tyre on the front, so set about removing the back tyre too, cue more low temperature swearing.
Start putting the front back, and I've apparantly forgoten how to mount the tyre, there ensures a 10 minute scene worthy of Mr. Bean, as I somehow manage to get half of one side of the tyre on one side of the rim, and the other half alternatly waving about randomly, knocking things off shelves and tripping me up. Finally get the damned thing mounted correctly and start to inflate... PSSSSSHHHHHH the sound of air escaping from the pinch flat was drowned out by now increasingly irate swearing.
Repair tube, test patch, seems OK. Re-fit, this time with limited drama (and swearing). Re-inflate gently seems OK.
Start on the back wheel, now where's that spare tyre.... oh, right at the bottom of a 6' pile of assorted "stuff". Empty shed - in rain (with swearing). Retrieve tyre, replace stuff (now wet) in shed (more swearing).
Fit back tyre, this one goes on straight away with shock no swearing, and is duly pumped up. Pick bike up and turn right way over. BANG the %"&W""*, "&*(£&^* , son of a *(&" front tyre has just deflated.
Remove tyre, find the recently fitted patch has decided that it would rather not bother actually patching anything. Rip patch of with teeth (hands are by now too cold and sore to do anything). Replace with new patch, warn both patch and tube (with much swearing) that if they dare to part company I shall be building a bonfire to keep warm, and they will be component parts).
Replace front tyre - this is the hard one, but it goes on finally. Inflate OK.
Check back tyre..... just in case, they're not fooling me again.
Turn out light, slam shed door and stalk inside to try and regain feeling in hands.
This morning - get up for first commute of the year. Open shed, THERES A BA^&** flat back tyre.....take car to work.
I'm going out at lunchtime, pack of firelighters and a box of matches.
Hence my signature line...'If i were the boss..i'd sack me too' 
