wind-ups

[got-to-get-fit]

I once rang my then girlfriend (now wife) at 2pm. She had just moved into her first student house.
I told her i was from Liverpool water authority and was working at the bottom of the road on a suspected water leak.
We had dug an inspection pit and were worried that the water was coming from her house.
I told her that the only way i could find out which was her pipe in the pit was to listen to it and to do that i would need her to go under the sink and tap on the plastic pipe - i would listen from the inspection pit and see if i could hear which one of the pipes she was tapping on and marry it up to the leak.

Off she went and a couple of seconds later i could hear her tapping away in the kitchen. She returned to the phone and said 'was that any good?'
No i replied i couldnt hear a thing...could she try the upstairs bathroom?
Off she trots and a few seconds later i heard the tap tapping again.
She gets back to the phone "did you hear that"
no says i, but then again the pipes are so old that they are all making noises in the inspection pit through natural movement.
I then asked if she could try tapping a recognisible tune ...like hicory dickory dock...


I had her upstairs and downstairs 7 times before she finally twigged someone was having her on.


Can anyone beat that?

ive got some more that i will tell you about later.

 

[Melvil]

That's pretty good, GTGF

 

[Night Train]

And she still married you????

 

[Will1985]

Not done any pranks personally, but I sometimes hear BRMB's Phonetap in the morning - there can be some pretty funny ones on there.

 

[gbb]

Think i told this one a while ago, but...
Phoned a hydraulic supplier i knew...
'Phill...ive got this valve in front of me, can you see if you can get a new one'
'Yeah, no problem, give me the part number, i'll see what i can do'

'There's no manufacturer on it, but just some numbers. It reads..
BO, then 440, i assume thats the voltage, then CK5'

'Doesnt ring a bell...i'll have a look for you'

A week or two passed...i forgot all about it. Then the phone rang...'W@NKER' was all that was said from the other end.

Put the numbers together..it reads BO440CK5 (Looks even better if you dont join the 4 at the top). He spent ages ringing round, looking at catalogues etc etc..all for a load of BO440CK5

 

[ComedyPilot]

I set my 'straight' mate's sky+ box to tape Gay TV, and the next week set my gay mate's sky+ box to tape some Emmanuel film or other.

 

[Globalti]

I once range a school pal and in a passable Glaswegian accent told him I wanted the photos. The more he protested the more nasty I became, but I managed to keep up the threats for ten minutes - he half believed it was me and half some mistaken identity. Ten minutes later there was a screech of tyres as his car pulled up outside my house and in he burst, a bit pale and definitely worried. Much laughter at his expense.

 

[sheddy]

"I had her upstairs and downstairs 7 times before she finally twigged someone was having her on"
Please let us know what were you drinking ?

 

[speccy1]

I once rang my then girlfriend (now wife) at 2pm. She had just moved into her first student house.
I told her i was from Liverpool water authority and was working at the bottom of the road on a suspected water leak.
We had dug an inspection pit and were worried that the water was coming from her house.
I told her that the only way i could find out which was her pipe in the pit was to listen to it and to do that i would need her to go under the sink and tap on the plastic pipe - i would listen from the inspection pit and see if i could hear which one of the pipes she was tapping on and marry it up to the leak.

Off she went and a couple of seconds later i could hear her tapping away in the kitchen. She returned to the phone and said 'was that any good?'
No i replied i couldnt hear a thing...could she try the upstairs bathroom?
Off she trots and a few seconds later i heard the tap tapping again.
She gets back to the phone "did you hear that"
no says i, but then again the pipes are so old that they are all making noises in the inspection pit through natural movement.
I then asked if she could try tapping a recognisible tune ...like hicory dickory dock...


I had her upstairs and downstairs 7 times before she finally twigged someone was having her on.


Can anyone beat that?

ive got some more that i will tell you about later.

I think I can

About 4 years ago I had a bike stolen from outside work - not really the end of the world I reported it to the law, got a crime number and got a shiny new one through my house insurance

Anyway, about 6 months later a had a phonecall from somebody claiming to be pc plod from the local copshop, he asked me "had I had a bike stolen of this, that, and the other descriptions??". Totally delighted I said "yes I have!!".

So I arranged to go and identify my bike. 5pm on the day came, it was p*ssing down and I walked down to the copshop to have a look.....

I said to the receptionist "I`ve come to see pc plod about a stolen bike", her reply was "who??", so I said it again, still didn`t register. Now I was getting puzzled To cut a long story short I was there 3 hours and got nowhere. I went home with my tail between my legs and dissapointed

Anyway I was at work the next day, and a woman I work with said to me "was it your bike??", and she couldn`t keep a straight face, so I said "no, it wasn`t, I think somebody has stitched me up", with that she started laughing

It all clues up that it was her husband that phoned me claiming to be pc plod, and the whole thing was a stitch up!!!! I nearly ended up locked up for a night for wasting police time!!!!

 

[Black Sheep]

I lived in a student house, was an old end terrace that was twice as big as the rest, our housemate had been a bit of a pain and never locked his door, so a little bit of white tape over the hole for the lock confused him after a couple of days, putting a little drop of green food dye in his milk every other day until it was a lime colour,

then we took a screen shot of his computer desk top, hid his desktop icons, put the tool bar to the top of the screen and set it to hide and made the screen shot the desktop

then we got bored and lifted his room door off its hinges.

 

[sw3008]

Apparantly, the word "gullible" does not appear in any of the editions of the Oxford English Dictionary.

 

[got-to-get-fit]

2nd installment

I rang my girfriends housemate up and said i was jim white from number 7 just down the road. I said that due to the number of crimes in the area i was setting up a neighbourhood watch and the first meeting was at my house at 7pm. Bring a bottle and the whole close can get together and have a chat about what to do.
Cue my missus and 4 of her housemates tramping down to some blokes house with a few bottles of lambrini...knocking on the door of the poor old codgers house and walking in when he answered asking where all the other neighbours were........it took some time for them to see the funny side of that one.

 

[Cubist]

2nd installment

I rang my girfriends housemate up and said i was jim white from number 7 just down the road. I said that due to the number of crimes in the area i was setting up a neighbourhood watch and the first meeting was at my house at 7pm. Bring a bottle and the whole close can get together and have a chat about what to do.
Cue my missus and 4 of her housemates tramping down to some blokes house with a few bottles of lambrini...knocking on the door of the poor old codgers house and walking in when he answered asking where all the other neighbours were........it took some time for them to see the funny side of that one.

Yer twat!

 

[got-to-get-fit]

last one.....

When she first arrived at college, she moved into halls of residence.
One night i rang the communal pay phone on her landing and a random girl answered.
I told her i was from TV licensing and that i was sitting outside in my detector van and was picking up 14 unauthorised signals from TV's in the hall. I asked if i could have the front door code so that i could come up and issue the on the spot fines. The girl started urgently mumbling something to another girl and then slammed the phone down.

My wife later told me that the whole halls of residence had hidden TV's in wardrobes, under beds, in bathrooms etc and were afraid to get them out.

I left it two weeks before i owned up that it was me. They were more peeved that they had missed 2 weeks of neighbours than they were with me.