wolf-whistling whilst cycling

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Abitrary, 4 Dec 2007.

  1. Abitrary

    Abitrary New Member

    Does anyone else get the urge to randomly wolf-whistle stuff whilst riding?

    Not necessarily humans either. I wolf-whistled a discarded full kebab in the gutter the other day.

    But... on a tourettes like wolf-whistling binge, I saw some flash jerk on a titanium bike, looking like tron, riding on the drops at about 3 miles per hour.

    I wolf-whistled his bike, but he shouted after me 'you gay lord'. I swiftly turned and caught up with him, and ended up on the pavement.

    We were both wearing messenger style bags with flashing LEDs on the front straps, and when he squared up to me, I simply put mine on 73 flashes per second, sending him into a catatonic stun. I cycled past later and he was still there staring, and some kids had started playing games around him.

    What are other peoples' experiences of wolf whistling on a bike?
  2. col

    col Veteran

    Never had that problem,cant understand why i havnt been wolf whistled at?
  3. Sometimes I attempt more of a 'dog' whistle rather than a wolf (longers dept!:biggrin: )
    Great bit of prose Abitrary by the way...:biggrin:
  4. NickM

    NickM Veteran

    You don't want to do it like that. If you start a thread with a post like this nobody will respond for fear of being completely overshadowed.

    What you want to do is start small, allow the thread to get up some steam, and only then let rip with the sparkling prose.
  5. Chuffy

    Chuffy Veteran

    I once whistled at a wolf.
    He didn't take too kindly to this and followed me for many miles across the burning tundra of Much Felching in the Marsh.
    Eventually, spent and dripping, we stopped by a blasted oak under a sky of rage and fought as god intended, mano et canis, naked and raw.
    His teeth and breath were strong, like a ripe cheese. I was on my knees, seconds from vulpine oblivion when, with a gesture that was absolutely vile, I stuffed a Power Bar (bananana) down his steaming throat. He coughed once, turned a pleading eye to the heavens and died.

    I now have wolf skin bib-longs, which even Rapha don't stock.:biggrin:
  6. SamNichols

    SamNichols New Member

    Colne, Lancs
    It's like having our very own Kurt Vonnegut.
  7. Bigtallfatbloke

    Bigtallfatbloke New Member

    I get hot fit women whistling at me all the time these days, it's a pita but i put up with it so as not to upset them.
  8. Flying_Monkey

    Flying_Monkey Toll Collector on the Road to Nowhere

    :biggrin: I'm beginning to enjoy Arbitrary's postings quite a lot!
  9. Quite the reverse for me I'm afraid :biggrin:

    The other day I passed a group of lardy slappers (let's be polite) and got several wolf-whistles, one of them shouted "Nice arse "!

    I replied "It's half the size of yours !"
  10. Cycling Naturalist

    Cycling Naturalist Legendary Member

    I have the same problem, but they all dress up as road workers for some reason.
  11. LordoftheTeapot

    LordoftheTeapot Veteran

  12. SamNichols

    SamNichols New Member

    Colne, Lancs
    I got wolf-whistled by a wolf once. Here's what she said: 'woo, woo baby, slow down, let me some sugar.' I slowed down and she tried to maul me. It was a painful experience, especially as she had her mate filming it on his camera phone. I got happy-mauled by a she-wolf.
  13. Were was that?
  14. wolverhampton?
  15. I was wolf whistled at by four birds in a Ford in 1986.

    They slowed down and winked at me too.

    I winked back, they giggled saucily.

    I thought yeah!! I've still got it! as wended my way to work with a face full of smug.

    When I arrived my colleague pointed out that my lycra had split, exposing my assos from chamois to waistband.

    I replaced the shorts under warranty.
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