Words that should be changed

[robjh]

Same penalty for saying "haitch" instead of "aitch" for the letter H.

Reduces intelligibility.

I'm just curious what you've ever mistaken it for?

 

[Saluki]

Plurals always confused me at school.
1 x Rake = rake, 2 x Rake = rakes
1 x Cake = cake, 2 x Cake = Oh no thank you, I really shouldn't, oh go on then it won't hurt this one time.

I had all sorts of problems at school in English, let me tell you!

 

[Beebo]

1 x Cake = cake, 2 x Cakes = Oh no thank you, I really shouldn't, oh go on then it won't hurt this one time.

Dont forget that if you are on a diet, only eat half the cake, then you can have twice as much.

 

[ayceejay]

This helps identify German spies

Isn't this from an old movie starring Terry Thomas? All in all it makes the English language very tow (like Slough) for forriners.

 

[Tim Hall]

And ghoti pronounced fish.

Are you shaw?

 

[Haitch]

Are you shaw?

Sugar!

 

[ASC1951]

I had a Portuguese friend, who couldn't understand silent letters, it was hilarious....

The p is silent, as in 'bath'.

 

[slowmotion]

It's tough in Slough.

 

[Davidc]

Educated people say it the right way, theres an "h" at the start for a very good reason

Not in any dictionary I've seen, and there's no h at the start for the excellent reason that there isn't one! No well educated or cultured person would even contemplate there being one!

I'm just curious what you've ever mistaken it for?

It just sounds like a nasty noise, totally uninterpretable. If I'm feeling mischievous I ask anyone who utters the noise to repeat, then write it down, and then say "Ah, you mean aitch, sorry, I couldn't understand you".

It's like Japanese knot weed and American crayfish, an accidental introduction. It arrived on videotapes marked Neighbours and Home And Away, and spread from there.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

I dont like the word LOSE

Win.

This has to be changed. My hallway is often littered with something or other that my wife has 'won' at some auction.
You didn't win it, you bloody bought it.. it wasn't a raffle!


GC

 

[Fnaar]

You didn't win it, you bloody bought it.. it wasn't a raffle!
GC

Just given me an idea though eRaffle, like eBay, but everyone pays something, and the winner is randomly chosen.
*rushes off to set up website and patent the idea*

 

[laurence]

Roofs

that is the correct plral of roof... however, it is clumsy and ugly.

Rooves SHOULD be the plural.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

i had a Portuguese friend, who couldn't understand silent letters, it was hilarious, listening to him trying the read the word "light" or "knife" it used to drive him round the bend, and me into hysterical fits of laughter

We have Italian Friends and they can never say my Dad's name, Hugh, properly.

They always say 'Hyoog' 'Yoog' or 'Oog'.

That said, I am 'Daoglas' which is only marginally better.

 

[simon the viking]

WHY ENGLISH IS SO HARD

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Absolutely fantastic and so true

 

[Fnaar]

Not sure if this has been mentioned already, but "would of, could of" etc.
I'm not normally a grammar nazi, but this one really grates. There is a simple phonemic explanation for its use (the 'weak forms' of 'have' and 'of' are the same, using a schwa followed by the phoneme /v/, people make the assumption that it is 'of', and start using it as such) but to see it written down bugs me.
However, language is a 'crowd-led' phenomenon, and the more people that use it, the more accepted it becomes., It'll be the accepted 'grammar book' form in 100yrs time, or at least accepted as an alternative.