There’s one thing missing from every Audi. A great big fracking Apple logo.
If Apple made cars, they’d make Audis. The R8 would be a wet apple dream.
Everything you hate about Apple owners applies to Audi drivers. ‘Look, it’s got cool lights around the headlight, people will admire me and be jealous.’ You could point out that there’s nothing that Audi do that someone else doesn’t do better but it won’t matter because they love the badge. You could even point out that an Audi (insert model) is actually just a Skoda / Seat / VW with a posher badge costing an extra several thousand pounds but they won’t care. I swear if you put an Audi badge on a turd they’d buy it and pay for sat nav, bigger alloys and running lights.
On the road, they look down on BMW owners (quite right too) and assume that as long as they’re not quite as much of a c*nt as them, they’ll be ok. That was true for a while but the R8 ruined that. Now all the sales reps in Audis have got R8 running lights they think they’re some kind of avenging cyborg on the motorways trying to compete with BMW for ownership of the third lane. We can all just live in hope that they’ll take each other out one day and calm will descend but I’m sure the molten metal drops would run and coagulate, growing back into the A5 coupe from Twuntage Pharmaceuticals Sales Division and like Sarah Connor we’ll all have to run and hide again from the evil that will NEVER EVER STOP.
