"You have received this email as you have....

[swee'pea99]

"You have received this email as you have either asked to be placed on our mailing list in person [nope] or by phone [nope], have signed up to the list at our site [nope], signed-up at a recent event [nope], or opted-in for Circus news, discounts & offers via our website's contact forms.[er, that'll be another nope]"

No, I haven't. No, I didn't. Now fark off and stick your exciting offers up your a*** you worthless, lying, lowlife scum.




...and breathe...

 

[Spinney]

Used to get calls from a time-share type operation:
Them - you are receiving this call because you filled in a questionaire/survey...
Me - when was this...
Them - er, not sure, but our records...
Me - tell me when it was
Them - well have you been on a holiday recently.
blah...blah...blah
Me - you are lying. Don't call me again.

A week later...
ring, ring....

 

[threebikesmcginty]

"You have received this email as you have either asked to be placed on our mailing list in person [nope] or by phone [nope], have signed up to the list at our site [nope], signed-up at a recent event [nope], or opted-in for Circus news, discounts & offers via our website's contact forms.[er, that'll be another nope]"

No, I haven't. No, I didn't. Now f*** off and stick your exciting offers up your arse you worthless, lying, lowlife scum.




...and breathe...

Aren't you going to post a link to their website, sounds like there might be some great stuff on offer, if you do I'll have a look when I've finished sending my bank details to this nice Dr Mbngarty who's kindly informed me I've got $45,000,000 waiting as soon as he's emptied my bank account.

 

[ASC1951]

.... I'll have a look when I've finished sending my bank details to this nice Dr Mbngarty who's kindly informed me I've got $45,000,000 waiting ....

Oi! Get yer hands off my $45,000,000! I was first and I've already agreed to help him.

 

[Glow worm]

"You have received this email as you have either asked to be placed on our mailing list in person [nope] or by phone [nope], have signed up to the list at our site [nope], signed-up at a recent event [nope], or opted-in for Circus news, discounts & offers via our website's contact forms.[er, that'll be another nope]"
quote]

.

Genuine headline on the Circus News website - 'Circus world selects clown as new leader'. Keep up circuses, the rest of the world has been doing that for years

 

[winjim]

I appear to have been targeted for assassination by some shadowy organisation. Fortunately a nice chap by the name of agent Bauer emailed me offering protection if I would just pay what I consider to be a reasonable sum. I can now sleep safely in my own bed once more, although I hope I haven't compromised myself by revealing this information.

 

[postman]

I got an e mail this week from someone saying they were from Virgin Media.Telling me, my last months DD had not gone through.Could i contact them by clicking this link.
No i would not,you see i don't have a Virgin account,so sod off.The house does but not in my name.Fiddling berstewards.

 

[Doseone]

I just wish I knew somewhere I could get a cheap solid wood kitchen.

 

[vernon]

Oi! Get yer hands off my $45,000,000! I was first and I've already agreed to help him.

$22,500,000. I've agreed to help him too.

I just wish I knew somewhere I could get a cheap solid wood kitchen.

Post you email and I'll share some likely suppliers. I'm sure that there will be one near to you.

 

[Spinney]

I just wish I knew somewhere I could get a cheap solid wood kitchen.

So sorry - us mods keep deleting informative posts with genuine money-saving offers on new kitchens. Amazingly even people in countries on the other side of the world are concerned enough to post on cycle chat to offer you discounted kitchens!

 

[Leaway2]

Aren't you going to post a link to their website, sounds like there might be some great stuff on offer, if you do I'll have a look when I've finished sending my bank details to this nice Dr Mbngarty who's kindly informed me I've got $45,000,000 waiting as soon as he's emptied my bank account.

That nice Dr Mbngarty, its such a shame about his sick daughter/son/sister/mother/father though.

 

[Vidor06]

I got 2 yesterday purporting to be from the HMRC telling me to complete the attached in order to get a tax rebate. My first instinct with these is to look at the email address that sent the scam. This one came from something like dave@admavan.co.uk but apparently it was from the HMRC. Reported both as a phishing exercise.

 

[Spinney]

I got 2 yesterday purporting to be from the HMRC telling me to complete the attached in order to get a tax rebate. My first instinct with these is to look at the email address that sent the scam. This one came from something like dave@admavan.co.uk but apparently it was from the HMRC. Reported both as a phishing exercise.

It does make you wonder about the mentality of the people who fall for these things - very, very trusting - or something...

 

[ASC1951]

That nice Dr Mbngarty, its such a shame about his sick daughter/son/sister/mother/father though.

It is indeed. You would expect his close friends in the Government to be more helpful.

 

[TVC]

Those nice people at Windows keep phoning me up to tell me about the fatal errors my computer is reporting. So very helpful they are, I can chat away for a good five minutes whilst I pretend to start my computer. Either I end up asking if their mother is proud of the fact they are trying to con people, or when I've had enough I just say "Ooh my computer is slow starting up today, it must be those fatal Windows errors, it still hasn't got past the picture of the apple". The intelegent ones hang up at that point.