I was first on scene at a domestic, and walked up to the front door and was met by a bloke with a cut lip. I asked him what was up, and noticed his hand was in his jacket 'Napoleon-style'. I asked what he was holding and to show his hands. At this point he produced a claw hammer, took a swing at me, missed, and ran inside the house. A siege ensued, which resulted in him smashing the house up and drinking drain cleaner.
Pillock