Yuletide Jolly Japes.

[Moon bunny]

Tomorrow I shall be amusing myself and others by inserting a broken card into the slots of the town's cash machines, in order to hear the witty festive banter of those behind me in the queue as I skip away, leaving them to read the merry message, "Machine temporarily out of order, do not insert your card."
What tricks will you be getting up to?

 

[snapper_37]

Standing behind those pushing bost cards into the cash machines with a big pointed stick. Quite fancy that caper.

 

[vernon]

Standing behind those pushing bost cards into the cash machines with a big pointed stick. Quite fancy that caper.

I want a bost card. It sounds exotic.

 

[Doseone]

I'm going to take a leaf out of Jack Dee's book.

When I'm in the supermarket queue at the checkout with my trolley full to the brim and a little old lady shuffles up behind me with nothing but her Fray Bentos Christmas dinner for one I'm going to look pittyingly at her and say "you might as well ***k off love, I'm going to be ages".

 

[coffeejo]

Nothing will compare to being told that I had ruined a child's Christmas when one of said child's parents came into the shop where I was working shortly before closing on Christmas Eve only to discover that we had (shock! horror!) sold out of the product that was at the top of the kid's Gimme Gimme Gimme list. Yes, that's right, all my fault.

Oh, something similar happened (again on Christmas Eve, shortly before closing) when a customer discovered that the supermarket I was working in had sold out of turkeys, mince pies and some other Christmassy foodstuffs.

And going back to the first job, I was also personally responsible for ruining some little brat's festive season when it transpired that there was a fault with the product and it needed replacing - only we didn't have any left in stock on the first day of opening after Christmas. Daddy Dearest had already threatened me with physical violence so I called a manager and refrained from pointing out that the kid really must have had a lousy Christmas with only the one present and him for a father...

Edit: Hmm, I seem to have missed the boat re "jolly japes" . Ho bloomin bah humbug

 

[tyred]

Many years ago, my older brother ate my selection box so I stuffed loads of holly leaves under the sheet on his bed and into the pillow case

 

[Speicher]

I am off to look for some thing for in Boots.

 

[Maverick Goose]

I once put a cardboard cutout of Megan Fox [she seemed to have forgotten her clothes] at the top of the Christmas tree at my then place of employment....she stayed there for a good 3 days before any management peeps noticed...