He should beMe: "Oh, they've got an away goal, haven't they? They've won."
Boyfriend:
- you know about the 'away goals' rule ! 
Give me some dialogue from your day
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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- you know about the 'away goals' rule ! 
I know about the simple bits of the offside rule, too... as I said, I don't mind football, I just wasn't in the mood for another 30 minutes of it just then...
welsh dragon
Thanks but no thanks. I think I'll pass.
I went into town today to do some shopping. First I went into the bank.
good morning mrs dragon. Have you seen our new current accounts that offera higher rate of interest?
Me. Err no. You can send me some info on them if you like.
that's all right, I have a leaflet here with all the information you would need. I'll just talk you through it.
five minutes later I left the counter. MR Dragon said. What was al that about?
I have no idea I said. She spoke so fast that I didn't understand a word she said, but never mind, at least I have the leaflet. That should have all the informationi need.
good morning mrs dragon. Have you seen our new current accounts that offera higher rate of interest?
Me. Err no. You can send me some info on them if you like.
that's all right, I have a leaflet here with all the information you would need. I'll just talk you through it.
five minutes later I left the counter. MR Dragon said. What was al that about?
I have no idea I said. She spoke so fast that I didn't understand a word she said, but never mind, at least I have the leaflet. That should have all the informationi need.
gbb
Legendary Member
- Location
- Peterborough
We've had a mobile scanning unit at work today, the nurse said to me...
'Have you had TB ?
' ..as she looks at my xray?
'No, i had pneumonia and pleurisy last year, I have pleural thickening, I was fully tested for TB when I had pneumonia...negative result.'
Her reaction to the xray was quite instant as she looked at it.
We've had 2 cases of TB in two years at work and several more cases in other firms locally.
My Xray looks worse than when i actually had pneumonia (to the untrained eye of course)..some of that will be long term damage.
Im half expecting a call back to the docs in a couple weeks once they've analysed the Xray. The nurse scribbled quite a few lines on my notes.....and off i went for blood tests.
'Have you had TB ?
' ..as she looks at my xray?'No, i had pneumonia and pleurisy last year, I have pleural thickening, I was fully tested for TB when I had pneumonia...negative result.'
Her reaction to the xray was quite instant as she looked at it.
We've had 2 cases of TB in two years at work and several more cases in other firms locally.
My Xray looks worse than when i actually had pneumonia (to the untrained eye of course)..some of that will be long term damage.
Im half expecting a call back to the docs in a couple weeks once they've analysed the Xray. The nurse scribbled quite a few lines on my notes.....and off i went for blood tests.
Ruthie
Über Member
Me: so, what do you do for a living?
Client: (mutters) I'm a fireman
Me: no way! That is so awesomely cool!
Client: Yeah, I know (looking quite smug)
Me: Have you ever had to, like, run into a burning building?
Client: ?????
Me: I thought you said you were a fireman?
Client: No, farmer. I'm a farmer.
Aeons of silence pass.
Me: well, that's quite cool, too.
Client: not that cool, obviously. (looking a bit downcast)
Client: (mutters) I'm a fireman
Me: no way! That is so awesomely cool!
Client: Yeah, I know (looking quite smug)
Me: Have you ever had to, like, run into a burning building?
Client: ?????
Me: I thought you said you were a fireman?
Client: No, farmer. I'm a farmer.
Aeons of silence pass.
Me: well, that's quite cool, too.
Client: not that cool, obviously. (looking a bit downcast)
Octet
Veteran
We've had a mobile scanning unit at work today, the nurse said to me...
'Have you had TB ?
'No, i had pneumonia and pleurisy last year, I have pleural thickening, I was fully tested for TB when I had pneumonia...negative result.'
Her reaction to the xray was quite instant as she looked at it.
We've had 2 cases of TB in two years at work and several more cases in other firms locally.
My Xray looks worse than when i actually had pneumonia (to the untrained eye of course)..some of that will be long term damage.
Im half expecting a call back to the docs in a couple weeks once they've analysed the Xray. The nurse scribbled quite a few lines on my notes.....and off i went for blood tests.
Let's hope everything comes back fine.
152l2
Well-Known Member
- Location
- Dorchester
Me ; Lovely weekend thanks. We went to Christchurch on Friday. Its lovely. have you ever been?
Colleague ; No!!!!. Its confusing.......Very confusing....... Such a confusing place.........Bought a car there once......Said we would never go back.......We try to stay away....It's just so confusing......Such a confusing place........Really confusing......Confusing.
Me ;
Erm, shall we get a cuppa?
Colleague ; No!!!!. Its confusing.......Very confusing....... Such a confusing place.........Bought a car there once......Said we would never go back.......We try to stay away....It's just so confusing......Such a confusing place........Really confusing......Confusing.
Me ;
Erm, shall we get a cuppa?
stowie
Legendary Member
Little Stowie (5 1/2 yrs old) comes into my home office with a bowl of strawberries
Little Stowie : Look at all these strawberries for me
Me : They look very nice, can Daddy have one
LS : (handing me two) Yes, have this one and this one. They are the sweetest ones.
Me : Thank you very much, they do look very nice
(I am just about to eat one)
LS : Yes, I know they are the sweetest ones because I licked them all to see
Me : OK, maybe you should have them all
Little Stowie : Look at all these strawberries for me
Me : They look very nice, can Daddy have one
LS : (handing me two) Yes, have this one and this one. They are the sweetest ones.
Me : Thank you very much, they do look very nice
(I am just about to eat one)
LS : Yes, I know they are the sweetest ones because I licked them all to see
Me : OK, maybe you should have them all
Maverick Goose
A jumped up pantry boy, who never knew his place
- Location
- A champagne supernova in the sky
"It was clear that you have a passion for IT and a very sound technical knowledge. However, we will unfortunately not be offering you the post of IT Trainee."
what are some people like huh?
GrasB
Veteran
- Location
- Nr Cambridge
Me (on keyboard) : if [ -z "$YN" -o ! -z "$YN" ] ; then echo yes; else echo no ; fi
Computer: no
Me:
... DOES IT EXIST OR NOT EXIST YOU MUPPET?!
Computer: no
Me:
... DOES IT EXIST OR NOT EXIST YOU MUPPET?!
SteCenturion
I am your Father
- Location
- The Dark Side of the Moon.
Yesterday while reviewing a bus service & inspecting tickets in a secret location known only under the codename Bolton.
17/18 yr old boards (ticket out of date) so
Me - "can I have a look at that ticket please"
Him - "yeah, why" - mumble, mumble, groan.
Me - "Cause it ran out yesterday (13th & a 7 day ticket) so you can't use it"
Him "but I've been told I can use it 'till day after"
Me - "No you've not - why would anyone say that" ?
Him "it's not out of date anyway look, it started on the 7th - 7,8,9,11,12,13,14 - see"
Me "have you ever been taught to count" ?
Him "Urhh" !
Me "watch my fingers"
Etc, etc, etc.
17/18 yr old boards (ticket out of date) so
Me - "can I have a look at that ticket please"
Him - "yeah, why" - mumble, mumble, groan.
Me - "Cause it ran out yesterday (13th & a 7 day ticket) so you can't use it"
Him "but I've been told I can use it 'till day after"
Me - "No you've not - why would anyone say that" ?
Him "it's not out of date anyway look, it started on the 7th - 7,8,9,11,12,13,14 - see"
Me "have you ever been taught to count" ?
Him "Urhh" !
Me "watch my fingers"
Etc, etc, etc.
gbb
Legendary Member
- Location
- Peterborough
We're having a lazy day, its getting late in the morning.
Me to the wife as I'm walking upstairs...I always clean upstairs, she does downstairs.
'I suppose I'd better get going...I'll start upstairs'.
'Leave it if you want, I'll do up there'
'Nah, it's ok, I'll do it'
'Its ok, I want it doing properly'....I hear as I reach the top of the stairs.....
'Whaddyamean properly 
'
A muffled sniggering can be heard downstairs.
Me to the wife as I'm walking upstairs...I always clean upstairs, she does downstairs.
'I suppose I'd better get going...I'll start upstairs'.
'Leave it if you want, I'll do up there'
'Nah, it's ok, I'll do it'
'Its ok, I want it doing properly'....I hear as I reach the top of the stairs.....
'Whaddyamean properly 'A muffled sniggering can be heard downstairs.
Siiting in the pub and three charming young ladies are on the next table.
One absents herself and is "some time"
A comment is made and one of her "friends" comes up with...
"She'll be having a poo.... she could poo for England. Every time we go out she spends hours in there and it is not only noisy, but it really stinks"
Methinks too much information
One absents herself and is "some time"
A comment is made and one of her "friends" comes up with...
"She'll be having a poo.... she could poo for England. Every time we go out she spends hours in there and it is not only noisy, but it really stinks"
Methinks too much information
SatNavSaysStraightOn
Changed hemispheres!
- Location
- ɐᴉlɐɹʇsn∀ 'ɐɹɹǝquɐƆ
yesterday, sitting on a bench in the sunshine during a ride with my OH...
OH: Apparently I have burnt off over 1,000 calories already!
Me: Garmin always over estimates it.
OH: Is that 1,000 above my daily calories?
Me: yes
OH: Do you think that takes into account the calories required for thinking?
Me:
!"£$%^&* $%^& (insert name here) have you been trying complex algebra again?
OH: I was just wondering that was all, I have to have something to think about whilst I'm cycling.
Me thinking that explains why he is always running into the back of me/not seeing things I point out...
OH: Apparently I have burnt off over 1,000 calories already!
Me: Garmin always over estimates it.
OH: Is that 1,000 above my daily calories?
Me: yes
OH: Do you think that takes into account the calories required for thinking?
Me:
!"£$%^&* $%^& (insert name here) have you been trying complex algebra again?OH: I was just wondering that was all, I have to have something to think about whilst I'm cycling.
Me thinking that explains why he is always running into the back of me/not seeing things I point out...
