Give me some dialogue from your day

[ColinJ]

I was coming back from a ride today and I spotted that the little old-fashioned bike shop opposite Morrisons in Todmorden was open. I needed something for my singlespeed bike project so I stopped and went in ... It looks and smells just like an old-fashioned shop should - the lingering smell is of oil and rubber. The shop is full of old bits and pieces, with drawers full of old loose parts, and shelves full of newer parts still in their packaging.

ColinJ: Hello. I was wondering if you have a couple of plugs for the ends of drop handlebars? I took the bar tape off an old bike and want to reuse it but I broke the plugs getting them out.

Shop owner: Hang on a minute ... (Pulls open a big drawer ... Rummage, rummage, rummage.) Will THESE do? (Offers up a pair of old bar plugs.)

ColinJ: Yes, they will do me - how much do you want for them?

Owner: No charge - they aren't really worth much.

ColinJ; Oh, thanks a lot - cheers!

(We then had a little chat about my ride and local flooding.)

 

[Katherine]

In our Nursery, the room is divided into different areas, some of which change according to our current theme or topic. At the moment the construction area has some hard hats and hi Vis vests for dressing up. This is next to a roll play area which currently has some Nativity story accessories, props, masks etc.
This morning whilst sitting with some children in the craft area, I overheard a little voice declare :
" I'm going to be the Bob the Builder donkey!" I didn't get a chance to go and see what they made with the lego or bricks.
I'm still smiling now.

 

[fimm]

Line manager: did you see the email from X?
Me: you mean the one I forwarded to you?
L.M. Oh. I thought I'd been copied in on it. I guess that means you've seen it...

 

[swee'pea99]

I was coming back from a ride today and I spotted that the little old-fashioned bike shop opposite Morrisons in Todmorden was open. I needed something for my singlespeed bike project so I stopped and went in ... It looks and smells just like an old-fashioned shop should - the lingering smell is of oil and rubber. The shop is full of old bits and pieces, with drawers full of old loose parts, and shelves full of newer parts still in their packaging.

ColinJ: Hello. I was wondering if you have a couple of plugs for the ends of drop handlebars? I took the bar tape off an old bike and want to reuse it but I broke the plugs getting them out.

Shop owner: Hang on a minute ... (Pulls open a big drawer ... Rummage, rummage, rummage.) Will THESE do? (Offers up a pair of old bar plugs.)

ColinJ: Yes, they will do me - how much do you want for them?

Owner: No charge - they aren't really worth much.

ColinJ; Oh, thanks a lot - cheers!

(We then had a little chat about my ride and local flooding.)

I have a shop like that near me. I went there 'cos I needed a couple of spokes for 27" wheels. he tried to give them to me for nothing but I insisted on giving him a couple of quid: "If you keep giving stuff away for nothing you'll have to close, and then where will I be able to get spokes for a 27" wheel?"

 

[Scoosh]

I have insisted in a couple of places and got away with it, by calling it 'Coffee money'.

 

[ColinJ]

I only had an emergency get-me-home £20 note on me, otherwise I probably would have insisted. Last time I went in there I got a pair of old plastic flat pedals in similar circumstances but got him to take a fiver for them.

The bar plugs were old and tatty. They probably got taken off a bike in the 1980s and have been languishing in the drawer ever since!

 

[Scoosh]

Wine/ champagne corks work pretty well too for bar plugs.

 

[cyberknight]

Wife last night " Why are you cycling to work ? its been raining your stupid ".

 

[ColinJ]

Wine/ champagne corks work pretty well too for bar plugs.

Yes, my mate has used wine bottle corks in the past. A lot of the time now though the bottles seem to have screw tops. I don't drink alcohol any more so there is a shortage of corks here!

 

[Theseus]

Yes, my mate has used wine bottle corks in the past. A lot of the time now though the bottles seem to have screw tops. I don't drink alcohol any more so there is a shortage of corks here!

Take a visit to your nearest friendly restaurant. They will have a few available.

 

[ColinJ]

Take a visit to your nearest friendly restaurant. They will have a few available.

I don't need them now, thanks to the friendly LBS owner!

 

[bruce1530]

“Do you have a fork-lift?”, said the delivery driver.

Clue: he was delivering a kitchen appliance (100 kilo), on a pallet, to a suburban bungalow. Only my wife was home. At the depot, it was loaded onto his van with a forklift. How did he expect to unload it?

 

[Lullabelle]

Yesterday

Me: I have had my hair cut

TVC: bl**dy hell, you have haven't you

 

[Scoosh]

Yesterday

Me: I have had my hair cut

TVC: bl**dy hell, you have haven't you

You had to tell him for him to notice ???

He's in trouble ...

 

[rvw]

A couple of gems from a speciaist registrar who could do with improving his bedside manner:

"The liver markers in your blood samples are all quite deranged"
"The abdominal x-rays are nearly normal"