So, I left my office in Covent Garden one evening many moons ago, spliffette in hand, and got stopped on the pavement by American tourists asking for directions. I was giving them the way to Ly-sester Square when some bloke butted in. "Excuse me," I said, "I'm trying to help these people. Can you just wait a sec and then I'll help you as best I can." "Er, no," he said, flashing a warrant card, "You need to help me right now."
Long story short, after I'd been standing on the front step with three of them for about ten minutes 'waiting for the van', I said "Look, we're going to Bow Street, right?" The main cop agreed. "Can't we just walk there, me & you, and let these other two go and do something useful? I mean, it's not like I'm going to do a runner - apart from anything else, you saw me come out of my office; you know where I work." "No," he insisted, "you have to be taken in a van." "Why?" I said. It's five minutes walk. We could have been there ten minutes ago." "For your safety," he said. "Safety?" I said. "What, in case I injure myself walking five minutes?" He got grumpy, but insisted that was how it had to be.
So I stood there with these three cops until eventually, after about 25 minutes, the van arrived, and they put me in the back. The traffic was bad. So it took me and the van and the two cops in the front seats about another 20 minutes to get round the corner to Bow Street. So, what any sensible approach would have taken one cop five minutes ended up occupying about two cop hours and the better part of a cop van hour. Bonkers.