Things you'd like to say, but can't

[Speicher]

I dealt with your urgent request as soon as was reasonably possible. Next time, just ring to say "thank you", keep it short, without waffling on endlessly about other irrelevant things. Does it never occur to you that I might have other things I want to do today?

 

[TVC]

Can we please have Windows '98 back. Every update since then has just made things worse

 

[perplexed]

Dear British Eurovision Song Contest song-pickers...

Next year, could we please chose a song which doesn't sound like it's 'Song 5' from the 'B' side of One Erections Direction's fourth most popular album?

Ta.

 

[simon.r]

Forgive me if I'm showing a lack of enthusiasm about this latest major re-structuring of the company. I've been through at least 6 re-structures (plus numerous minor departmental shuffles) in my working life, 2 of which have resulted in me being made redundant.

If I could afford to I'd be handing in my notice now to save you the bother of 'slotting' me into a role. If I survive this one I should be in a position to do just that the next time around.

 

[derrick]

Get a sense of humour. ffs.

 

[NorthernDave]

Mate, if you want to do bullying conf calls in your booming voice all day to show incisive and thrusting you are do it in the pods provided, not sat at your desk next to mine. I'm trying to flippin' concentrate.

(I left and went to work in another part of the building)

Sorry, I could only give you one "Like" for this. I work next to Foghorn Leghorn himself, who insists on making several 'important' calls every day and to be honest, I don't think he needs the telephone as I'm sure they could hear him without...
Repeated requests to moderate his volume have fallen on deaf ears (ironically enough)

 

[Dave the Smeghead]

You crowd of totally incompetent wan**rs. When you get your ar*es kicked for being so f***ing incompetent don't try to pass the blame to us - we have bailed your sorry ar*es so many times - well no more

 

[NorthernDave]

If you must take a "private" call on your mobile, perhaps standing right next to the tea point and then getting the hump with anyone who dares to be getting a brew on isn't the best idea, is it?

 

[Speicher]

I have been closely involved with this Project for four years. Now you have chosen to close it. Would it have been a good idea to tell me personally, or even by email, rather than just my reading about the closure in a mail shot?

Please do not expect any help from me as regards the practical aspects of the closure.

 

[Lullabelle]

The difference between you and me is that I actually like my partner.

 

[TVC]

The difference between you and me is that I actually like my partner.

I'm glad you like me.

 

[Smithbat]

No, I will not miss you. Don't let the door smack you on the arse on the way out!

 

[Mrs M]

How professional.
Please stop referring to all staff as "guys" and stop saying "yeah" after every sentence.

 

[perplexed]

Strangely enough, I'm not a 'weirdo' just because I prefer French/Nordic films and dramas to X Factor and EastEnders. This doesn't me a 'snob' - it just means I like something different to you, and judging by the fact that the BBC and other channels purchase the programmes repeatedly would suggest I'm not alone.

(Actually, shouldn't really have posted that - because I did say it).

 

[pauldavid]

Strangely enough, I'm not a 'weirdo' just because I prefer French/Nordic films and dramas to X Factor and EastEnders. This doesn't me a 'snob' - it just means I like something different to you, and judging by the fact that the BBC and other channels purchase the programmes repeatedly would suggest I'm not alone.

(Actually, shouldn't really have posted that - because I did say it).

Pffffttffffft! Weirdo