A "proper" Northern problem..
- Thread starter Andy_R
- Start date
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Fnaar
Smutmaster General
- Location
- Thumberland
Say to her "Hawaay pet, now ye've waarmed up, let's gan oot on the hoy". She'll thank you for it the morra 
Salar
A fish out of water
- Location
- Gorllewin Cymru
From what I hear it's very much a mix now compared to when I knew it as a middle class area in the 60's where we could never afford to move to
.People actually owned houses there, way out of reach of us on the council estates.
Loads of student flats now , but places like Osborne Road now believes it is the Notting Hill of Newcastle.
Somebody scratching their backside at an Osborne Rd pub (pic from the Chronicle)
- Location
- Somewhere wet & hilly in NW England.
@Andy_R
If it ever happens again here is my advice.
Suggestions based on bringing home a very merry Lovely Wife from her works 'do' last week (no vomit though so can't help there):
In general; carefully think through what you are going to say in case there is room for misinterpretation. If possible say nothing until you are spoken to and then resort to nods etc. I can't stress this enough.
Here are some examples of how to react to stress inducing situations ; other events can be substituted:
Don't mention the 40 minutes standing around outside the pub in freezing cold fog whilst she was saying goodbye to everyone for the umpteenth time. This could provoke a kicking off response.
Don't treat the I'm plugging the wrong seatbelt into the socket for the fourth time fiasco as a joke - it is obviously really good fun based on the laughing it was accompanied by.
Ignore dodgy advice re driving in fog.
On arriving home ignore the difficulties in getting out of the car (took ages) and very definitely do not offer to give her a helping push out of the car door. Also ignore the obvious confusion as to why it is dark at nightime - it's just not worth trying to explain.
Do feign amusement at the tripping up the steps to the house incident and be helpful rectifying the ensuing shoe falling off debacle.
Once indoors do offer to assist in taking party clothes off as some zips and buttons can be very problematic.
Do sit quietly and listen to the same anecdotes from the event being told over and over and over.
Do make a sandwich on request as apparently this is why Lovely Wife is drunk in the first place. Unfathomable!
Don't be so stupid as to assume that offering a glass of water is the right response to an "I'm thirsty" remark. Oh no, the right response is to drag a bottle of plonk out of the fridge and poor a glass to quell the thirst.
Do make soothing noises regarding sudden appearance of headache.
Do not worry when a visit to the bathroom to remove makeup results in permanent disappearance ie collapsing into bed never to be seen again until the following morning.
And above all - don't mention anything over breakfast the next day apart from what a pleasure it was to pick her up and that you'll be happy to do the same next year.
Hope this helps.
If it ever happens again here is my advice.
Suggestions based on bringing home a very merry Lovely Wife from her works 'do' last week (no vomit though so can't help there):
In general; carefully think through what you are going to say in case there is room for misinterpretation. If possible say nothing until you are spoken to and then resort to nods etc. I can't stress this enough.
Here are some examples of how to react to stress inducing situations ; other events can be substituted:
Don't mention the 40 minutes standing around outside the pub in freezing cold fog whilst she was saying goodbye to everyone for the umpteenth time. This could provoke a kicking off response.
Don't treat the I'm plugging the wrong seatbelt into the socket for the fourth time fiasco as a joke - it is obviously really good fun based on the laughing it was accompanied by.
Ignore dodgy advice re driving in fog.
On arriving home ignore the difficulties in getting out of the car (took ages) and very definitely do not offer to give her a helping push out of the car door. Also ignore the obvious confusion as to why it is dark at nightime - it's just not worth trying to explain.
Do feign amusement at the tripping up the steps to the house incident and be helpful rectifying the ensuing shoe falling off debacle.
Once indoors do offer to assist in taking party clothes off as some zips and buttons can be very problematic.
Do sit quietly and listen to the same anecdotes from the event being told over and over and over.
Do make a sandwich on request as apparently this is why Lovely Wife is drunk in the first place. Unfathomable!
Don't be so stupid as to assume that offering a glass of water is the right response to an "I'm thirsty" remark. Oh no, the right response is to drag a bottle of plonk out of the fridge and poor a glass to quell the thirst.
Do make soothing noises regarding sudden appearance of headache.
Do not worry when a visit to the bathroom to remove makeup results in permanent disappearance ie collapsing into bed never to be seen again until the following morning.
And above all - don't mention anything over breakfast the next day apart from what a pleasure it was to pick her up and that you'll be happy to do the same next year.
Hope this helps.
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I like Skol
A Minging Manc...
- Location
- Sunny Ashton-under-Lyne
I'll bet she never drinks again! 
BoldonLad
Not part of the Elite
- Location
- South Tyneside
I'll bet she never drinks again!
aye, until next time!
In my experience, it is probably not due to excessive alcohol intake. The last few times Mrs @BoldonLad was in that state were all due to stress (she informed me the next day).
Maybe they live on a boat.
captain nemo1701
Space cadet. Deck 42 Main Engineering.
- Location
- Bristol
I was more thinking if you see someone not doing well, don't help them, just stand and film it. That seems to be the way things are going.For more vom - based fun, search for 'rollercoaster fails' on Youtube...eeeew
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
Clearly taken in February with temperatures around the -20 mark going by the fact that one chap has a jersey on.
My answer,had I read this in time, would be....call a taxi...Bigg Market,what makes you badly makes you better,bonny lass,so they say.Best of luck today She's not out on Black Eye is she?
robjh
Legendary Member
- Location
- Cambridgeshire - almost Essex
To quote @User3094
My sisters-in-law grew up in Essex and could do that 5 nights a week. Doesn't even turn any heads where they live.
My sisters-in-law grew up in Essex and could do that 5 nights a week. Doesn't even turn any heads where they live.
OP
OP
Andy_R
Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
- Location
- County Durham
God no! She doesn't really drink, so the after effect of a party night can be either spectacular, or apocalyptic, depending on your point of view. (But it normally involves vomit). As for
, not a chance.Good then When my OH (Northamptonshire, though underneath I suspect she's one of their hooligans!) learned of the local tradition of seasonal bonhomie suddenly morphing into violence,I was strictly warned.Didnt matter, I'm not playing that game.In fact,I spent this afternoon bleeding at a donor session, not on the streets of Carlisle.Sounds a good un your girl !God no! She doesn't really drink, so the after effect of a party night can be either spectacular, or apocalyptic, depending on your point of view. (But it normally involves vomit). As for
