A "proper" Northern problem..

[Andy_R]

Hah...Mrs R has returned from her works do and spent the last 15 minutes puking in various places in the garden. The dog is looking worried, as he thinks we're going to blame him. She is currently sat on the edge of the deck, refusing to come inside. She is a typical "Geordie Lass" and it's positively tropical at 8 degrees C, so I'm not too worried about the effect the weather will have on her, but our neighbours have just relocated from Jesmond, and I don't want to offend their sensibilities. Dear Daphne, what should I do?

BTW all this is true, including the vom in the roses..

 

[TVC]

Get out your phone and live stream to facebook.

 

[jefmcg]

Oh, wow. Totally a northern problem. No one south of Durham ever gets shoot faced.

Yep, that's most of England, Europe, USA and of course the whole southern hemisphere.

Bring her a glass of water and some paracetamol.

 

[graham56]

Bucket of water will shift her

 

[Andy_R]

Get out your phone and live stream to facebook.

Ermmm...grounds for divorce and a quick left/right combo to the nads...she plays footie, and womens' football isn't as "lady-like" as mens. When the ladies land on the ground it isn't because their nail polish has been cracked. (unlike FA)

 

[sheddy]

Allow her inside at your peril.
Prepare a sick bowl & towel for each room, she will chunder again as soon as she crawls over the threshold.

 

[Salad Dodger]

Hello Mr R and thank you for your enquiry.

Take the lass a blanket as, although it is not yet cold, it will turn cold later. Loudly say "I told you the kebab was not a good idea. It was never going to sit well on top of the two cups of tea and the cucumber sandwiches that you had at the company tea party this afternoon." If you say this loudly enough, your new neighbours from Jesmond will hear and will sympathise. Just don't let them come round to offer help, for fear of them treading in something unpleasant.

Your sincerely

Algernon Southern-Farquhar

 

[graham56]

If they are from Jesmond they’ll be used to students hoying up in their front garden, so I wouldn’t fret too much.

 

[Tin Pot]

Hah...Mrs R has returned from her works do and spent the last 15 minutes puking in various places in the garden. The dog is looking worried, as he thinks we're going to blame him. She is currently sat on the edge of the deck, refusing to come inside. She is a typical "Geordie Lass" and it's positively tropical at 8 degrees C, so I'm not too worried about the effect the weather will have on her, but our neighbours have just relocated from Jesmond, and I don't want to offend their sensibilities. Dear Daphne, what should I do?

BTW all this is true, including the vom in the roses..

Relocated from Jesmond, is that a euphemism for being released from jail?

OPen the door and loudly yell that you aren’t interested in a copy of The Watchtower and that you’ve called the police.

Dig the vomit into the flower beds with a bit of leaf mould and invite the neighbours over tomorrow for some community gardening.

 

[Drago]

She can't be much of a Northern lass if she's not in the kitchen cooking you a fry up.

 

[graham56]

She can't be much of a Northern lass if she's not in the kitchen cooking you a fry up.

She’s a southerner if she lives in Durham

 

[Andy_R]

She can't be much of a Northern lass if she's not in the kitchen cooking you a fry up.

You've obviously never met a Northern lass. The only time they're in the kitchen is to look in the freezer to see how much Vodka is left.

 

[Andy_R]

Relocated from Jesmond, is that a euphemism for being released from jail?

OPen the door and loudly yell that you aren’t interested in a copy of The Watchtower and that you’ve called the police.

Dig the vomit into the flower beds with a bit of leaf mould and invite the neighbours over tomorrow for some community gardening.

Jesmond is a posh effete Southern (think Harrogate) enclave in the heart of Newcastle. And if I call the police, she'll just get tooled up...oh well, at least the vom will stop the neighbourhood cats from shitting in the garden for a couple of months anyway

 

[Joffey]

Just hope she doesn’t get fruity with that vom breath once she drags herself inside!

Good luck bro

 

[I like Skol]

Take her a large double of her favourite tipple. The night is yet young and she will surely be grateful for your party spirit and lively encouragement........