A tricky situation, what would you do?

[Vapin' Joe]

Just say, "You know, I've often though about getting married, but when I look at the mess a couple of sad prats like you have made of theirs it puts me off. Nothing personal mind, just an observation".

 

[Broadside]

I would go with a watered down version of @meta lon response. Say something a bit outlandish to make them realise they are wading out of their depth but stop short of being rude, just make it strong enough for them to realise that if they push further that you will embarass them.

If they push at further encounters then unleash a full response, but do not do it in front of an audience and especially not your mum. If you do then it would be more respectful to not turn up (for your mothers sake).

 

[Cp40Carl]

Anybody who knows me, knows that I love being my own boss, I love my freedom, hence my choice to be single.

Tell them this. Simple honesty usually works.

 

[shouldbeinbed]

Its your mums day anything confrontational in the flow of the day even quietly done is treading on her toes.

I would catch them as soon as you are both there, ask for a quiet word and take them aside and say something like: before you ask, I'm still happily unmarried and staying that way, I respect your life choices, please respect mine, now let's go and help make my mums day really special for her.

 

[DCLane]

I'd suggest the following:

1. I'm gay. And I'm only interested in elderly married men. Whilst winking salaciously at her husband.
2. Borrow a (preferably female) CC member to bring along as your chaperone ... i.e. @Speicher
3. Tell them it's none of their business. That's unless they've a beautiful, rich, unmarried daughter and you'd make the perfect son-in-law as you need to be kept in luxury.

 

[ayceejay]

Go early make a big fuss of your mum and leave early if anyone asks - you have date,

 

[Drago]

Time to start giving a Notice of Intended Sickness.

 

[User32269]

"Where's the missus? You should have one by now."

*PAUSE, SIP DRINK*

"Not worth bothering, coz I've been knocking yours off for years, gobshite."

*GIVE MUM A BIRTHDAY KISS AND SAUNTER OFF*

 

[Markymark]

Maybe they have a point? Have you thought about being less ugly?

Look, there's a whole spectrum between smiling politely and blowing up at them. You could ask them about something oersonal in their lives which they dibtvwsbtvto talk about. You could just look at them bored when they talk about it and wander off.

 

[Andy_R]

Maybe they have a point? Have you thought about being less ugly?

Look, there's a whole spectrum between smiling politely and blowing up at them. You could ask them about something oersonal in their lives which they dibtvwsbtvto talk about. You could just look at them bored when they talk about it and wander off.

Have you been on the Creme de Menthe again?

 

[Jody]

Difficult but I would agree with the third post. Its your mums birthday and out of respect you should keep the situation civil, as a the bigger person will always rise above it. Maybe they are just pushing for a reaction in a sad, bitter and twisted way knowing you will take the bait. Maybe they just think its a bit of bantz. Just stick to the real reasons, you don't want to and that is what suits you. No need to be offensive or awkward

I do like the coke and hoes suggestion but it wouldn't be appropriate.

 

[Markymark]

Have you been on the Creme de Menthe again?

Sorry, it's a London word. It means "don't want to"...apparently

A great one that makes people uncomfortable is money. Train them like a dog. Everytime they bring up the single status, quickly follow it by asking about money.

 

[swee'pea99]

Just say, "You know, I've often though about getting married, but when I look at the mess a couple of sad prats like you have made of theirs it puts me off. Nothing personal mind, just an observation".

I wouldn't say that, just respond with: "You still married then?", with a wry, confident, teasing smile on your face that makes it clear that ^^ is what you're really thinking. They won't like that. It's ambiguous enough to put them on the back foot. Then keep it as your stock phrase, just as they have theirs for you. Any time they make 'those' comments, just say "You still married then?" All the fun will go out of it for them, they won't know how to 'regain the upper hand', they'll stop.

I agree with the overriding importance of trying to avoid screwing up your mum's birthday, but she chose to invite them, despite presumably having been witness to their behaviour in the past. She, as well as they, needs to know that you won't be bullied, and if necessary you're quite prepared to give as good as you get.

 

[Fnaar]

If they say 'Where's the Mrs?', just say, 'you said that last time!'

Or say (menacingly) "under the patio, with the last person who asked her whereabouts"

 

[Crackle]

Tell them that their example of coupledom has inspired you to stay single.

Edit: Beaten to it by Smokie Joe