"Don't buy one of those, you want to get one of them, or those..etc.."
What does everyone expect from a 13 year old £600 car? Matthew, go buy something you'll get year out, it sounds to me you're being sensible about a first car. Don't get attached to it, but you are allowed to buy an air freshener for it

. I've done it a few times in the past. The last time I did something similar it was an £800 Rover 600 that I got 2 years out of and used for part-exchange at the end as the sodding thing refused to die.