Advice for someone about to get a sibling...

[Crackle]

I remember reading a comparison of pain perception of children born naturally and with a c-section. I think, the conclusion was c-section children have lower cortisone levels after birth and so cry less. There was a supposed link to how they then percieve pain later in life, c-section kids being more tolerant. Given the huge variety of factors influencing pain perception, it seems a big leap. Curiously, it does bear true for my two, one natural, stresful birth and one c-section delivered to mothers favourite music (but not the paediatricians ).

 

[Over The Hill]

I have two daughters about three years apart. We bought elder one a doll which was about newborn baby size which she named and looked after and all the relatives played along and made a bit of a fuss of her and her baby too.
Not sure if that is very helpful for a boy!

 

[Arch]

Interesting...

Being born must be an amazing/awful experience, it's probably a good thing it's forgotten. But how soon is it forgotten? That's the sort of thing we'll never know, because we can't talk to babies. Or rather, they can't talk to us.

I guess a baby born naturally has a lot of warning, contractions etc. And so would a baby born in an emergency c section after a long labour. But I don't know about an elective. Do they induce any sort of labour chemically, or is the baby just plucked out, with no warning?

Overthehill: I'm not sure Oli would be all that interested in a dolly, no. A steam train, yes. A tractor, perhaps. My sister asked him the other day what he thought they should call the baby, and he said "Steam train!". It's that, or whichever Thomas engine he happens to have in his hand.

 

[fossyant]

New baby brings Oli a new train from the Thomas Tank Engine range......(unless he has them all)

 

[lukesdad]

My 2 are 2 1/2 years apart the youngest just comming up on 3 .He was born by c section we made nothing of it as far as the oldest was concerned ,no fuss or bother just turned up told him it was his Baby Brother no matter what "GRANNIES" said no presents no nothing. They are insepperable now. Glad we did that way.

 

[Rhythm Thief]

When my sister was born, I was ten days past my second birthday. She was my first sibling, and apparently after she'd been back at home for a couple of weeks, I asked - in my best grown up voice - when she'd be going back to her own house.
But I got used to her being around pretty quickly. Once the new baby arrives, Oli will be fine I should think. They're very adaptable at that age.
Incidentally, I'll be seeing my nephew, who's the same age as Oli, for the first time in about a year this weekend. I'm preparing myself for some big changes ...

 

[summerdays]

I don't think I would worry too much - generally the minute the baby arrives they start to adjust. There will be the occasional time that they don't want the baby, just as there is the "I don't love you Mummy" statements in the heat of an a row.

With ours we always made sure that someone was taking an interest in the older child and continuing to get stories etc. The baby usually brought them a present (baby doll/pram - my older ones were girls). And they wanted to get involved with them... to the extent that I found the eldest one carrying a week old baby downstairs to me as he "had waked up" - wow my heart was beating very fast at that point.

I did have problems with my second child who had been kicked out of the buggy by the new arrival, refusing to let the baby use "her buggy". In the end it was easier to buy a new buggy as the old one was nearly worn out anyway - and just kept it as a spare.

In that respect it is good to not say move one child out of a cot and the next one straight in - so it doesn't look like they are being pushed out by the new baby.

 

[Arch]

New baby brings Oli a new train from the Thomas Tank Engine range......(unless he has them all)

New baby is bringing Oli a coal mine/depot for his train set (complete with two coal wagons and a crane) - I've got into the office today to find it's arrived, so I have something to play with!

Cheers Summerdays - Oli's been in his bed (as opposed to cot) for a while now, so he won't be ousted - baby will be in with Mum and Dad for a while anyway. And I think they're getting a new pushchair set up to house the baby and him when he doesn't want to walk. I'm sure he'll be fine, I know he will, but I can also imagine what a huge upheaval it is and how unfair it seems - I felt left out sometimes, and I was five and at school and all that, so I could rationalise it more.

RT - gosh, in a year, your nephew will be a different child. I remember when I went down once in March, having seen him last at Christmas, so only 3 months gap, he'd gone from being a baby to a little boy, just like that. But you get so focussed on them growing up, it's maybe easy to forget that they are still only very young. If Oli feels confident and wants to do something independently, he says "I'm a big boy!" but if you use that idea to encourage him when he feels less confident, he says, "No, I'm too little..."

 

[Wheeledweenie]

Have you thought about the Charlie and Lola books? We used those to help my cousin's daughter get used to the idea of a new sibling and she loves them.

 

[karen.488walker]

Make sure Dad lavishes attention on him when the baby is born. We were lucky that my husband was on gardening leave when we had our second but think it really helped our son. Alot of the time Mum will have to see to the baby so could be easier if Dad remembers to focus??

 

[Arch]

Have you thought about the Charlie and Lola books? We used those to help my cousin's daughter get used to the idea of a new sibling and she loves them.

Oh, that's a good idea... I'll have a look round at some... I know he's watched them on TV (and books are always a good present - apart from anything else, it relieves the monotony for parents at bedtime!)

 

[Arch]

Make sure Dad lavishes attention on him when the baby is born. We were lucky that my husband was on gardening leave when we had our second but think it really helped our son. Alot of the time Mum will have to see to the baby so could be easier if Dad remembers to focus??

I think he will, he's having the statutory 2 weeks off, then when Mum and I have done a stint, he's having another fortnight, ostensibly to work in the garden actually! Sis said Oli is already turning to Dad for attention now that she's less able to do stuff and more prone to tiredness.

 

[GaryA]

Afraid I cant help you Arch since we have no plans to have another one....My experience with his cousins (two boys on both sides of the family) suggests that they bounce off each other and create mayhem and both parents confess things were much, much easier with one.

My young 'un you probably remember, is a few months younger than oli and is giving a constant commentary on everything he does...it more than nonsensical babble now

Heres a good one; last week I was teaching him his numbers from 12-20 by holding up large stencilled pages and he picked it up straight away but he had problems with thirteen and fifteen. when prompted he kept saying "threeteen" and "fiveteen"...then the penny dropped, childhood logic is better than ours

Anyways heres a recent piccy I havnt posted you one for a while;

[ATTACH=full]181751[/ATTACH]

 

[Arch]

Afraid I cant help you Arch since we have no plans to have another one....My experience with his cousins (two boys on both sides of the family) suggests that they bounce off each other and create mayhem and both parents confess things were much, much easier with one.

My young 'un you probably remember, is a few months younger than oli and is giving a constant commentary on everything he does...it more than nonsensical babble now

Heres a good one; last week I was teaching him his numbers from 12-20 by holding up large stencilled pages and he picked it up straight away but he had problems with thirteen and fifteen. when prompted he kept saying "threeteen" and "fiveteen"...then the penny dropped, childhood logic is better than ours

Anyways heres a recent piccy I havnt posted you one for a while;

[ATTACH=full]181752[/ATTACH]

Aw.... I'll post one in return when I get home...

I've heard that children often play with language like that, applying logical rules to make words they have never heard said - like 'sheeps' as the plural of sheep - they'll never have that example quoted to them, but they follow the basic 'add s' rule.

At Christmas, Oli stood on a chair and looked out of my bedroom window and when we asked him what he could see, he said "The seaside!". Unlikely in Leicester. Anyway, we said, "what can you see at the seaside?" "Boats. And Dolphins!" "Oh, and what are the dolphins going?" "Splashing in the water!" "Oh, and what do dolphins eat?" <pause> "Cheerios!" Whereupon he got down off the chair, went out of the room, and then came back in, got back on the chair and threw imaginary Cheerios to the dolphins.

 

[Arch]

Here's Oli. He'd been given, in lieu of christmas pudding, a 'yellow cake' fairy cake (he likes yellow cake best), with a big dollop of the chocolate buttercream icing Mum made for the family chocolate cake (my favourite!). He ate the icing off the top first...

I can't get it bigger. See this post for original attachment:

http://www.cyclechat.co.uk/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=5112&thumb=1&d=1261936585