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Alien Abduction..........

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by twentysix by twentyfive, 5 Aug 2007.

  1. twentysix by twentyfive

    twentysix by twentyfive Clinging on tightly

    Location:
    Over the Hill
    I set out on the club ride hoping it wouldn't be too silly as my legs were still very tired from riding and walking during the week :sad:. Well it WAS a bit silly as our leader likes hills :rolleyes: and up we went - three of the hardest ones in the area before I'd even woken up. So much for breaking my legs in gently :angry:

    Then he decides to try some new roads which turned into farm tracks really - you know - grass up the middle, gravel and sand everywhere, to the extent that, in deep sand, I had a "mild" loss of control and had a painful brush with some nettles.......

    Finally the Cake Stop - but only scones - AND they ran out :angry:

    It was getting hot now and water bottles were emptying quite well. He led us up a 3 arrow hill, then took a wrong turning to drop us pretty well back at the bottom - so up we went again to get it right :blush:

    Finally we are getting near home - my legs are shot and I'm hot and tired and my bottles are all empty :angry: My computer says 79 miles when it happened............

    ...........I was abducted by aliens and MADE (yes MADE) to ride round the block until I'd ridden the full 80 miles.:ohmy: Aliens are really very very cruel. They said they'd be back to for more "examinations". What should I be prepared for ? :biggrin:
     
  2. Melvil

    Melvil Standard nerd

    Oh, you'll never find out the truth Ha Ha! Never, I say!
     
  3. longers

    longers Veteran

    From watching the Simpsons I've learn't they'll douse you in rum when they've finished so nobody will believe your story.
     
  4. Brock

    Brock Senior Member

    Location:
    Kent
    From watching Southpark I've learnt you've almost certainly been subjected to various anal probes. You might want to get a softer saddle.
     
  5. Mr Phoebus

    Mr Phoebus New Member

    Try crushing some ice into some Sudacrem....you'll be needing it!



    Work safe piccy
     
  6. OP
    OP
    twentysix by twentyfive

    twentysix by twentyfive Clinging on tightly

    Location:
    Over the Hill
    No they didn't say anything about anal probes. My butt is a bit sore tho'. I'd already put that down to my minimalist Selle Italia saddle. But perhaps I've blocked the correct memory out .......

    When this Round Number issue comes up again is that when I should be wary? Or are there other numbers I should be wary of? Are these cycle computers really there to monitor us?:rolleyes:
     
  7. jacob

    jacob New Member

    Location:
    east midlands
    Very interesting..Very interesting,something simalar happend to me last year.After visiting one of my ex wives in branston near Lincoln I noticed my computer was behaving in a erratic manner .Suddenly I was covered in a bright light,and transported via a time equlibriam to a place called messuganah 1.It seems I had become a guest of the 6 breasted amazon women of alef beit and was subjected to what I can only describe as intense sexual abuse! After which I was transported back to branston,but not branston Lincs.No branston notts ! By now I can assure you I was somewhat disorianted.I managed to cycle home via branston leics.On arriving home I noticed my computer had recorded 6206 miles,wierd eh ? My question is has anyone else been abducted by aliens with poor map reading skills ?
     
  8. OP
    OP
    twentysix by twentyfive

    twentysix by twentyfive Clinging on tightly

    Location:
    Over the Hill
    Well I decided to go on the club run again today. I was keen to see if my alien friends would entertain me again - perhaps with a bottle of "forgetting" brandy. But, oh disappointment, nothing occurred. The cafe even had eccles cakes when I asked for one. My computer behaved correctly save that the average speed kept dropping all the way home. Perhaps that was a sign?
     
  9. alecstilleyedye

    alecstilleyedye nothing in moderation Staff Member

    got yourself into a right pickle there mate ;)
     
  10. Mr Phoebus

    Mr Phoebus New Member

    How do you know? Under hypnotic transgression, you may find you've been probed deep 'n' hard! ;)
     
  11. OP
    OP
    twentysix by twentyfive

    twentysix by twentyfive Clinging on tightly

    Location:
    Over the Hill
    How do you know? Under hypnotic transgression, you may find you've been probed deep 'n' hard! :biggrin:[/QUOTE]


    Yes that's possible. But this week my butt didn't suffer like last week. And Selle Italia was being employed again.:eek:

    Strangely my leader from last week was suffering this week. Perhaps they wanted to inspect him this time ;)? He hasn't reported any effects tho'. Maybe he's shy :biggrin:[/B]
     
  12. graham56

    graham56 Veteran

    Happen to me on Saturday, after 5 hours of riding and only 12 miles from home, i`m sure i was abducted and returned at least 50 miles from home. It sure felt like 50 and not 12, must be the longest 12 miles- and slowest- i`ve ever ridden, nearly had to phone for the support car ;)
     
  13. yenrod

    yenrod Guest

    Theres a section of road close to home that looks similiar on either side of a village - once I stelt myself as I thought i was one side but was still on the other: if I would have been on the far side then I really would have thought twice as I would've had to navigate lights ;)....
     
  14. Mr Phoebus

    Mr Phoebus New Member

    With these new cut-out saddles the aliens can catch you out easier.