Amusing conversation at the coffee machine

[downfader]

I don't usually get drawn into conversations about cycling but every time somebody sees me eating a cake or something they moan that I can be slim and eat cake.

..... I'm hoping that one day somebody puts the two together!!!

... mind you the other day somebody said that I must have a really high metabolism (!) so I just said that it was a combination of that and the 20 miles a day on the cycle plus three times a week at the gym! *insert roll eye smilie here*!

I work with a load of women who are constantly on "diets". They're always moaning about my eating, telling me I'll get diabetes or cancer. "How are you so thin" is the constant question I get. I sometimes tell them I have a contagious virus thats wasting me and watch them squirm, sometimes I just tell them I put the effort in and if they moved half as much as I do they'd be better off.

 

[marzjennings]

I work with a load of women who are constantly on "diets". They're always moaning about my eating, telling me I'll get diabetes or cancer. "How are you so thin" is the constant question I get. I sometimes tell them I have a contagious virus thats wasting me and watch them squirm, sometimes I just tell them I put the effort in and if they moved half as much as I do they'd be better off.

I used to commute from Reading to Sunbury and one time over lunch a women eating a very small salad pointed out to me that I'll get fat eating such massive lunch and that I should join the gym like her. I said that I'll burn this all up just riding home. She of course corrected me by saying that you can't burn off that many calories riding a few miles.

Who knew that 30 miles was just a few miles.

 

[beanzontoast]

I had the p**s taken by an ex-colleague in my old job once. I arrived in full winter gear a bit out of breath having done 10 miles, the last part uphill. Standing in the foyer, suitably pleased with my exertions, I was greeted with an indifferent "Oh, did you come on your bike?"

My - that must have taken some thinking up.

 

[Twenty Inch]

Over Christmas I cycled in to work - 35 miles, rain, sleet, knackered, got to work to be met by Roger, our maintenance man, who says "Hello mate, you look knackered. Canteen is closed for the week, you know".

 

[gbb]

Mines not cycling related, but if i'm stood next to a colleague at the machine, i usually say..
'I'd buy you one.....but i just don't like you'

 

[monnet]

When i get in to work in the morning and when I leave after getting changed I often get the lift 1 floor in order to save my cleats. I've started to notice a trend of fatties who usually take the lift avoiding the lift that i'm in (disabled folk are quite happy to share the lift, which allays my fear that I smell). I like to think they are a little ashamed.

Though it seems not so ashamed that they won't wait for the next lift.

I've also had the conversation that goes:

you cycle how much? About 150 miles a week in winter and 200-250 in summer.

Followed 2 hours later by:

How do you eat so much and stay so skinny?

Hmmm? I wonder. I'm tempted to ask how many times I'm seen eating crisps/ chocolate bars etc.

 

[Rhythm Thief]

Most frequent exclamation I get after having revealed to anyone I've cycled further than, say, 500 yards, is "you're mad!". I wish I had the bottle to say "I cycle to work and back, you have a very expensive gym membership, which you drive to after work, now who is the mad one?"

I used to get that, when I had a twelve mile commute to Oldbury from Wolverhampton.

"You cycle here? What's wrong with your car?"
"Well, nothing."
"You're f**king daft, you."
"Well, you're fat and unintelligent, but you don't catch me shouting about it."

 

[Rhythm Thief]

Who was it (either here or on C+) who had a story about turning up to work in his cycling kit to be met in the foyer with a disdainful look from one of his colleagues, who looked him up and down and said "what do you look like?" At which point one of their female colleagues came past and said "he looks fit as f**k, and you look like a fat sack of crap on legs." I always liked that story.

 

[BentMikey]

LOL, I seem to remember that one!! Still makes me laugh.

 

[Vikeonabike]

Last weeks conversation:
Sgt: You cycle how many miles a week? Are you mad, surprised you're fit for work.
Me: Never felt fitter or healthier!

This weeks conversation:
Me: Sarge, won't be into work this week. Knees are bu99ered!
Sgt: (Loud Sigh)

 

[thegrumpybiker]

Who was it (either here or on C+) who had a story about turning up to work in his cycling kit to be met in the foyer with a disdainful look from one of his colleagues, who looked him up and down and said "what do you look like?" At which point one of their female colleagues came past and said "he looks fit as f**k, and you look like a fat sack of crap on legs." I always liked that story.

The image of Gareth from The Office in his cycling gear just popped into my head, and Dawn's reaction to him.

 

[gaz]

Common convo in the changing room:
Cyclist: Why do you wear all these clothes?
me: have you not looked outside? it's freezing and there is a strong wind.
Cyclist: my shorts and football socks do me fine
Cyclist: so how far do you cycle?
me: 14 miles
Cyclist: woow thats far, and you do that everyday?
me: yes, it's not as hard as you think..
Cyclist: my 2 mile journey home is to hard and hilly for me, i want to move closer to work.

Another convo in the basement:
cyclist1: oooh i like what you have done to your bike
Cyclist2: yeah i put duck tape on it to make it look less desirable to theifs. i think it looks pretty good.
Cyclist1: how do you change gear on that thing?
cyclist2: i don't have any gears
Cyclist1: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!???

 

[Bay Runner]

My line manager tells me about his fitness plans

I reply

“So you are going to drive 3 miles to the gym (on a road that runs alongside a separate cycle path) and then jump on an exercise bike”?

“How much do you pay for your gym membership”?

 

[gazmercer]

One of the ladies in our office commented on my lycra the other day.

"Oooo that's a very fetching outfit". I just smiled, I think she was looking at my bum, LOL.

 

[automatic_jon]

During the snow and ice shortly after new year the conversation went something like this:

Them: Oh, you made it in today, I didn't think any of you guys [students] would be there's no buses.
Me: Yes I cycled as usual
Them: But how, the buses aren't running

I never have worked that one out.