meenaghman
Guru
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushedhim in front of a train.He was chuffed to bits.
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As Iwas standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with acoffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it...I thought to myself, these lads have lost the plot!!
I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I couldcheck her balance.Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old dear over.
A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television wasrefused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.A spokesman for the channel said....'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand thehumour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'
My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I wentto our local pet shop and they were £70!!!Bugger that, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
Just heard there was an explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield.3.1415927 dead
I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behinda gravestone. "Morning." I said. "No" he replied, "just having adump."
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3seconds.'I bought her some scales.
Instead of giving me a handjob, my girlfriend tried using her keyring.I felt like I was being fobbed off.
Went around to a friends house today. His wife was sat there withtheir newborn baby. She asked if i'd like to wind it....I thought that was a bit harsh so i gave it a dead leg instead.
Saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried."What's the matter?" I asked."I've got the big C,"he said."What, cancer?""No, dyslexia."
I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.
A Scottish paedophile has raised a dispute with eBay. He claims thatthe Wii GameBoy he received isn't what he was expecting.
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushedhim in front of a train.He was chuffed to bits.
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As Iwas standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with acoffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it...I thought to myself, these lads have lost the plot!!
I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I couldcheck her balance.Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old dear over.
A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television wasrefused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.A spokesman for the channel said....'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand thehumour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'
My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I wentto our local pet shop and they were £70!!!Bugger that, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
Just heard there was an explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield.3.1415927 dead
I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behinda gravestone. "Morning." I said. "No" he replied, "just having adump."
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3seconds.'I bought her some scales.
Instead of giving me a handjob, my girlfriend tried using her keyring.I felt like I was being fobbed off.
Went around to a friends house today. His wife was sat there withtheir newborn baby. She asked if i'd like to wind it....I thought that was a bit harsh so i gave it a dead leg instead.
Saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried."What's the matter?" I asked."I've got the big C,"he said."What, cancer?""No, dyslexia."
I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.
A Scottish paedophile has raised a dispute with eBay. He claims thatthe Wii GameBoy he received isn't what he was expecting.
