Any good jokes ... ?

[tyred]

 

[Jenkins]

It was so hot this afternoon that I opened all the windows and stripped all my clothes off. The other passengers on the bus weren’t very happy though.

 

[tyred]

 

[Seevio]

When I said I wanted a fairy-tale ending, I should have specified not one of the German ones.

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

Sorry, not a joke as such, I just wasn't sure where to place it

Yes, that is Wayne Campbell/Shrek/Austin Powers, in a kilt
And, yes, also Jean-Luc Picard/Charles Xavier in another............. with 'Dennis Healey eyebrows'!!

EDIT @ 23:23

Found the correct one, but not on 'YouTube'

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1B8hj3BrUc/

 

[dicko]

 

[tyred]

 

[Dave7]

3 blokes in a pub.....an irishman, an Aussie and a Manc. There's a guy on a nearby table they all recognise but cant put a name to.
Suddenly the Irishman says, I know, its,Jesus and they all agree.
They decide to each buy him a pint so send over a Guinness, a Fosters and a pint of mild.
Jesus drinks them and goes over to thank them.
He shakes hands with the irishman who exclaimed "i dont believe it, my arthritis has gone.
He shakes hands with the Ausie who shouts "amazing, my bad back is cured".
He goes to shake hands with the Manc who says "p*ss off mate, I'm on disability benefits"

 

[Toshiba Boy]

3 blokes in a pub.....an irishman, an Aussie and a Manc. There's a guy on a nearby table they all recognise but cant put a name to.
Suddenly the Irishman says, I know, its,Jesus and they all agree.
They decide to each buy him a pint so send over a Guinness, a Fosters and a pint of mild.
Jesus drinks them and goes over to thank them.
He shakes hands with the irishman who exclaimed "i dont believe it, my arthritis has gone.
He shakes hands with the Ausie who shouts "amazing, my bad back is cured".
He goes to shake hands with the Manc who says "p*ss off mate, I'm on disability benefits"

...at least "Jesus" kept his watch.....

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[tyred]

 

[Dave7]

Little Johnny misses school so next day the angry teacher demands an explanation.
He says "I had to take the bull to inseminate the cow".
The teacher says "couldn't your father have done that"?
Johnny says "possibly, but the bull does it better".