@(..)@ any jokes ?????????

[ComedyPilot]

[FONT='Verdana'']How many Chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?

I'm changing f*ck-all, like. Get on the blower to the council and get them to send some c*nt round to change it. Their responsibility, innit. That's what I get me council tax paid for me for. Get us a Sunny D while you're up.[/FONT]

 

[ComedyPilot]

I was in a nightclub the other night and a woman came up to me and said, "What have you got on, it smells lovely?"

I said "I've got a hard on, but I didn't think you could smell it!"

 

[ComedyPilot]

I call my grandad Spiderman.

He hasn't got any super powers, he just finds it difficult getting out of the bath.

 

[ComedyPilot]

You know you're Taliban if:

you refine Heroin for a living, and have a moral objection to beer.

you have more wives than teeth

you have a £5000 assault rifle, a £4000 rocket propelled grenade launcher, but can't afford shoes

you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing

you wipe your bum with your bare left hand, but consider bacon 'unclean'

 

[Dayvo]

Nice one, ComedyPilot!

I laughed at them all! A good start to the day!

 

[abchandler]

Peter Crouch: a man so honest that when asked by Soccer AM what he'd have been if he hadn't made it as a footballer, he replied: "A virgin."

Thank you Chris Charles of the BBC

 

[TVC]

Bill and Ben were sitting on their Flowerpots,

Bill: "Aww Flibba Flobba Dobba"

Ben: "You're pi$$ed again, aren't you"

 

[Night Train]

Bill and Ben were sitting on their Flowerpots,

Bill: "Aww Flibba Flobba Dobba"

Ben: "You're pi$$ed again, aren't you"

"No," Said Bill, "I've just been on the weed again!".

 

[gbspark]

<DIV>
<FONT face=Arial color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial">

 

[shimano]

a bear goes into a bar and says
'can I have..............................................................a beer please?'
the bar man says 'why the big pause?'
the bear says 'dunno, I've always had them'


I'll get my coat...

 

[Fnaar]

a bear goes into a bar and says
'can I have..............................................................a beer please?'
the bar man says 'why the big pause?'
the bear says 'dunno, I've always had them'


I'll get my coat...

 

[k-dog]

What's blue and doesn't fit?






A dead epileptic.

 

[Horace Goes Skiing]

Scientist walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Can I have a pint of Adenosine Triphosphate please?"

The barman replies, "Certainly sir, that'll be 80p"

 

[Slim]

Sister Mary and Sister Agnes are driving down the road when Dracula leaps on the bonnet.



Sister Mary : "Quick, Sister Agnes, show him your cross"

Sister Agnes : (Leans out of the window) "Oi! Dracula. Get off the f**king car!"

 

[yorkshiregoth]

Scientist walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Can I have a pint of Adenosine Triphosphate please?"

The barman replies, "Certainly sir, that'll be 80p"

Very good. Took me a couple of minutes to get it though

A neutron orders a drink.
He asks the barman, "How much?"
The barman replies, "For you sir, no charge.