mickle
innit
- Location
- 53.933606, -1.076131
Picture the scene. I, on enormous dirty great cargo bike, riding happily along in a roadside cyclelane. Old Poogeot 306 first overtakes way too close and then nips in to a parking space in just front of me. Obviously I smack the door mirror with my hand as I pass.
All fine and dandy, point made and on I go. But no sooner have I hit it than I hear a polis siren woop behind me and I get the whole Starsky & Hutch treatment, lights on and squeezed to the kerb. Wait over there he says, since we are at a pinch point. So I wheel the beast on to the pavement and wait while he parks up.
Now. My mum's family were high up ones in Scotland and I was brung up to respect them. In the past I would have been all; 'Yes officer. No officer. Sorry officer. Moment of anger officer. Won't happen again officer'. And would have been sent on my way with no more than a flea in my ear.
Plod; 'What did you do that for?
Me; 'She overtook too closely and then cut dangerously in front of me. Didn't you see?
Plod; Yes I saw, but that's no reason to damage someone's car'.
Me; I didn't damage her car. Modern door morrors are designed to flip back when they are hit, a feature which protects them from damage'.
Plod; 'But you could have damaged her car and then you'd be facing a charge of criminal damage'
Me; 'I didn't damage her car'.
Plod; Yes you did'.
Me; I didn't damage her car.
Plod; You don't know that'.
Me; 'Yes I do'.
At which point another polis car stops with his lights flashing and approaches. The litle old lady has also approached and butts in.
Lady; 'Please don't arrest him officer it was my fault'
Plod; 'Thank you madam, please go and get back in your car I'll be over to talk to you in a moment'
Lady; Yes but I just don't want him getting into trouble, it was my fault that his bike hit my car'
Me; 'Thanks', ~smiles~. And she wanders off. original polis hands me on to incoming polis and wanders off after lady.
New polis; 'What happened?
Me; 'I smacked her door mirror with my hand'.
There follows a conversation identical to the one I had with Plod. Which ends; 'Those mirrors can cost £25 you know'
Me; 'Yes I know'. I drive a car.
By this time I'm getting riled. There has been no discussion of the threat of danger posed to me by her incompetent driving and so I launch into a softy spoken tirade. I say; My family and I ride up and down this road every single day, and every single day some muppet in a car threatens our safety. You lot don't appear to be making road safety for vulnerable road users a priority. The polis in York have even publicly stated that they will not enforce the newly installed 20mph zone (about 200 yards back in the direction I came). So I will not be changing my habits. If cars continue to threaten my safety I'll continue to knock on their windows and bash their door mirrors.
Plod has returned by now, New polis leaves. Plod says; 'There are better ways of dealing with situations like this you know'.
Me; 'Like what for example?'
Plod; 'The Station is just here, you could record their registration numbers and report them.
Me; 'If I recored every incident I could be here three or four times a day. The vast majority of incidents don't occur right outside the Station. And I have neither the time nor the inclination. I'm happy to keep doing what I'm doing, and if my actions end me up in court I'll take my chances. But frankly I'm amazed that you seem much more concerned about criminal damage that did not occur than her clearly dangerous driving. That speaks volumes to me about your priorities.
Plod; 'If that lady changes her mind you'll be in court on charges of criminal damage.
Me; Except that she won't will she? And I haven't actually damaged anything have I? So that's very unlikely.
Plod; But you can't go around kicking cars in.
Me; 'Who's talking about kicking cars in?'
As he turns to walk away I say; 'Did you have a word with her about her driving?
I didn't hear his response.
All fine and dandy, point made and on I go. But no sooner have I hit it than I hear a polis siren woop behind me and I get the whole Starsky & Hutch treatment, lights on and squeezed to the kerb. Wait over there he says, since we are at a pinch point. So I wheel the beast on to the pavement and wait while he parks up.
Now. My mum's family were high up ones in Scotland and I was brung up to respect them. In the past I would have been all; 'Yes officer. No officer. Sorry officer. Moment of anger officer. Won't happen again officer'. And would have been sent on my way with no more than a flea in my ear.
Plod; 'What did you do that for?
Me; 'She overtook too closely and then cut dangerously in front of me. Didn't you see?
Plod; Yes I saw, but that's no reason to damage someone's car'.
Me; I didn't damage her car. Modern door morrors are designed to flip back when they are hit, a feature which protects them from damage'.
Plod; 'But you could have damaged her car and then you'd be facing a charge of criminal damage'
Me; 'I didn't damage her car'.
Plod; Yes you did'.
Me; I didn't damage her car.
Plod; You don't know that'.
Me; 'Yes I do'.
At which point another polis car stops with his lights flashing and approaches. The litle old lady has also approached and butts in.
Lady; 'Please don't arrest him officer it was my fault'
Plod; 'Thank you madam, please go and get back in your car I'll be over to talk to you in a moment'
Lady; Yes but I just don't want him getting into trouble, it was my fault that his bike hit my car'
Me; 'Thanks', ~smiles~. And she wanders off. original polis hands me on to incoming polis and wanders off after lady.
New polis; 'What happened?
Me; 'I smacked her door mirror with my hand'.
There follows a conversation identical to the one I had with Plod. Which ends; 'Those mirrors can cost £25 you know'
Me; 'Yes I know'. I drive a car.
By this time I'm getting riled. There has been no discussion of the threat of danger posed to me by her incompetent driving and so I launch into a softy spoken tirade. I say; My family and I ride up and down this road every single day, and every single day some muppet in a car threatens our safety. You lot don't appear to be making road safety for vulnerable road users a priority. The polis in York have even publicly stated that they will not enforce the newly installed 20mph zone (about 200 yards back in the direction I came). So I will not be changing my habits. If cars continue to threaten my safety I'll continue to knock on their windows and bash their door mirrors.
Plod has returned by now, New polis leaves. Plod says; 'There are better ways of dealing with situations like this you know'.
Me; 'Like what for example?'
Plod; 'The Station is just here, you could record their registration numbers and report them.
Me; 'If I recored every incident I could be here three or four times a day. The vast majority of incidents don't occur right outside the Station. And I have neither the time nor the inclination. I'm happy to keep doing what I'm doing, and if my actions end me up in court I'll take my chances. But frankly I'm amazed that you seem much more concerned about criminal damage that did not occur than her clearly dangerous driving. That speaks volumes to me about your priorities.
Plod; 'If that lady changes her mind you'll be in court on charges of criminal damage.
Me; Except that she won't will she? And I haven't actually damaged anything have I? So that's very unlikely.
Plod; But you can't go around kicking cars in.
Me; 'Who's talking about kicking cars in?'
As he turns to walk away I say; 'Did you have a word with her about her driving?
I didn't hear his response.
