be-clonk - OOFFF!

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XmisterIS

Purveyor of fine nonsense
Watch out for speed humps in the dark! Not those big, obvious ones that have markings on them; no, I'm talking about the stealthy, little ones that blend in with the road surface at dusk ... I went over one at speed yesterday, didn't notice it was there until the forks and then the saddle were driven upwards with considerable force, creating an instant wedgie with knacker sandwich. The pedestrians were rather surprised when I shouted out, "Hooaiyoof! Ooomeknackers!" I had to stop and pull my underpants out of my butt-crack.
 

Brommie77

New Member
Location
Crewe
:cry: Ooooh sounds nasty
 
D

Deleted member 1258

Guest
Watch out for speed humps in the dark! Not those big, obvious ones that have markings on them; no, I'm talking about the stealthy, little ones that blend in with the road surface at dusk ... I went over one at speed yesterday, didn't notice it was there until the forks and then the saddle were driven upwards with considerable force, creating an instant wedgie with knacker sandwich. The pedestrians were rather surprised when I shouted out, "Hooaiyoof! Ooomeknackers!" I had to stop and pull my underpants out of my butt-crack.

Brought tears to my eyes just reading about it :eek: , You need to learn to hang them down the side of the saddle, or tuck them in your socks out of the way :biggrin: .
 

suecsi

Active Member
Bought tears (of laughter, I'm sorry, its the avatar connection that did it!) to my eyes too.

Trust me, I'm sure it isn't quite as painful, but these darn types of speed humps are why I wear padded underwear/tights/shorts under my usual office clothes - ladies 'bits' can be somewhat bruised as well - though at least they don't retreat inside and give you a high voice .....:biggrin:
 
Sometimes I wonder if someone'll invent the asymmetric saddle - for blokes. Something on the lines of "Do you dress to the left or to the right, Sir?" ... :biggrin:
 
D

Deleted member 1258

Guest
Sometimes I wonder if someone'll invent the asymmetric saddle - for blokes. Something on the lines of "Do you dress to the left or to the right, Sir?" ... :biggrin:


Sounds a good idea, personally I dress to the left, if I dress to the right it knocks five mph of my top speed. :biggrin:
 

BentMikey

Rider of Seolferwulf
Location
South London
OOOOOH LMAO!!!
 

downfader

extimus uero philosophus
Location
'ampsheeeer
I smashed me old fella and the boys last year when I caught a new pothole. Was a bit p***ed off tbh. Road crew had dug something up while I'd been off and it had become a rather nice little pothole in the two weeks I'd been off work.
 

Adasta

Well-Known Member
Location
London
Bought tears (of laughter, I'm sorry, its the avatar connection that did it!) to my eyes too.

Trust me, I'm sure it isn't quite as painful, but these darn types of speed humps are why I wear padded underwear/tights/shorts under my usual office clothes - ladies 'bits' can be somewhat bruised as well - though at least they don't retreat inside and give you a high voice .....:biggrin:

This is the one time men can say "You will never know our pain!" and be justified! :laugh:
 
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