Mrs M
Guru
- Location
- Aberdeenshire
Thanks, read your original post a while back and just couldn't put things "on paper"
Don't think I've ever gotten over what happened.
Don't think I've ever gotten over what happened.
Bereavement
- Thread starter Fubar
- Start date
Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.
Ern1e
Über Member
- Location
- ROSSENDALE LANCS.
Same thing with my mother but that was 43 years ago and still hard to take thinking that maybe if she had been seen earlier then well who knows,it make me feel so sad for both yourself and @Pat "5mph" reading what happened to you both and more so when you do go into the GP's all the signs saying "had a cough for more than ! " see the doctor what a bl**dy laugh.
OP
OP
Fubar
Guru
Treatments are improving all the time (esp if detected early), my wife's cancer was detected as soon as possible - final outcome was the same but at least we had that time together, almost 4 years. It's hard not to feel like that when people haven't done their jobs properly, for whatever reason.
Ern1e
Über Member
- Location
- ROSSENDALE LANCS.
I honestly don't think you ever do it's just something you seem to have to learn to live with.
Mrs M
Guru
- Location
- Aberdeenshire
Yep, feel happy though my dad visited us in this house and announced Mr M was " a nice wee fella" praise indeed!!
Visited him a week before he died, was never one to show affection but we did a big bear hug and I gave him a wee peck on the cheek, then a wee wave, think we both knew.
Visited him a week before he died, was never one to show affection but we did a big bear hug and I gave him a wee peck on the cheek, then a wee wave, think we both knew.
OP
OP
Fubar
Guru
Biggest regret in my life is not getting to say goodbye to my dad - he collapsed in the street with a massive heart attack. Think about him every single day. Ironic really as we seldom saw eye to eye and he never expressed love (in the standard ways) though you always knew he loved you.
Mrs M
Guru
- Location
- Aberdeenshire
Sorry you lost your partner, must have been really tough for you at that time and still now even though a few years on.
- Location
- Glasgow
Thanks for your kind words
Brandane
Legendary Member
- Location
- Costa Clyde
Same here. Never got to say goodbye to either of my parents. 1978 aged 16, I said goodbye to my mother as I set off for Edinburgh airport to fly out and join my first ship. Big adventure for me, joining the merchant navy, and perhaps being so young I was a touch selfish.... I knew my mum had cancer but I fully expected to see her when I returned home 6 months later. I didn't
.Ten years later, just a few days prior to the anniversary of my mothers death, my father collapsed and died from a heart attack while playing golf with friends. If you have to go, I guess that is the way to do it. But at 68 years old and in otherwise good health, he might have hoped for a good few more years.
arch684
Veteran
My wife died on the 26th of December 2000,she was only 48.As it was christmas the funeral was held on the 2nd of january.THEY brought her home on the 31st of December.I held her hand as the bells rang in the new year.I could hear people outside letting off fireworks and singing auld lang syne.Im sure you will understand why I hate this time of year
Hicky
Guru
I'm not sentimental in anyway shape or form but reading this has really hit me....I can totally understand why you dont like it :-(
For myself a sh*te 12 months hence why I've been absent for a while, my aunt and uncle whom I was very close to when younger I've lost(terminal illness), my grandad whom I was very close to on my birthday last Jan I'd watched him deteriorate over the months(age)....my step dad who has brought me up since I was 5 has liver cancer. He refuses to talk about it and wont have the "C" word said. Much of my own character I can see is from him also alot of my faults. Each time I get a number of missed calls I expect "that" call.....my sons dont kow and I'm dreading the moment I have to tell them.
To top it off I seperated from my wife last Nov after 13 yrs together and as we speak shes moving awayand taking our sons, so I'll see them a lot less, neither of them want to go but hey ho I have to cope(lost 15kg).....what has kept me going is friends keeping me up and out excersizing/doing things...endorphins etc....I've been back on the bike after a 8 month layoff and bought myself a new one.
Last edited by a moderator:
OP
OP
Fubar
Guru
Same here. Never got to say goodbye to either of my parents. 1978 aged 16, I said goodbye to my mother as I set off for Edinburgh airport to fly out and join my first ship. Big adventure for me, joining the merchant navy, and perhaps being so young I was a touch selfish.... I knew my mum had cancer but I fully expected to see her when I returned home 6 months later. I didn't
Ten years later, just a few days prior to the anniversary of my mothers death, my father collapsed and died from a heart attack while playing golf with friends. If you have to go, I guess that is the way to do it. But at 68 years old and in otherwise good health, he might have hoped for a good few more years.
You're right in a way, if you have to go that's probably how most of us would choose rather than a gradual deterioration - doesn't make it any easier though, does it?
OP
OP
Fubar
Guru
Similar to me, my wife died early on 31 December - happily shut the curtains now and hope it all goes away. I never used to understand why my folks hated new year - it was the one time of the year they actively remembered those that have gone, which maybe wasn't a bad thing in hindsight.
OP
OP
Fubar
Guru
Good to hear you're back on the bike, I imagine a seperation is much like a bereavement - and it sounds like you have had enough of that to cope with so worthwhile having something else to focus on.
Is there a reason you haven't told your sons about your step-dad? It may be better to do it sooner rather than later. Your step-dad will also need to confront his illness too at some point and depending on his prognosis how he would wish to be treated, maybe telling your sons might help him too?? (not making any presumptions, obviously).
All the best, Mark