Lots of replies.. I agree both shops were perfectly reasonable. Lesson learnt I guess.
Yes bike co-ops are a good idea, there is one near me, well it's a kind of community bike recycling place, where I am hoping to volunteer for a few days to help repair bikes and pick up a few skills maybe.
As far as bike shops, it just seems there is a bit of a conflict between my current desire to learn how to fix my own bike, and supporting local shops.. I recently replaced my BB myself for the first time, if I'd given it to them, it would have cost me more and I would have learnt zilch. The knowledge is worth a lot to me.
The thing with investing in my own tools though (I have a good basic kit already), is that I'm trying to de-clutter and not amass a garage worth of tools because I know I'll be moving around quite a bit.. Guess I could sell them on when I need..