Black tie dress advice needed

[Crankarm]

I have been invited to a black tie event for the first (and possibly last) time in my life. As I neither own a black tie or a tux I am a little at a loss over how to kit myself out.

Moss Bros suits always look tacky to me - is there anywhere better to go?

Oh fate is indeed cruel comrade Danny . I should imagine that whatever size you plump for will still not really fit comfortably with you being such an obvious emblem of the capitalist elite and contrary to your ideology. Still you could find some bright red braces with Karl and Marx embroidered brazenly on each or cuff links with his face on .

Mind once you've worn your first penguin suit there is no going back once you've got a taste for it ........

What's the occasion?

 

[slowmotion]

Please stop this utter nonsense!

1) Clip-on bow ties are OK, unless they are those "Jason King" velvet things.

2) Any black shoes will do, except trainers. I always used to use M+S Italian slip-ons.

3) Hiring is usually about the same price as buying second-hand.

4) If you are 32 inch waist, 33 inch inside leg, and 42 inch chest, I could send you the gear, as long as you pay postage, and it comes back clean....come to think of it, I don't know how clean it is now... but the offer stands. All up, get down to a charity shop.

5) Nobody cares what you look like if you are fun to be with socially.

 

[srw]

Sorry, but the only shoes to wear with black tie are patent leather oxfords.

This site is the bible: http://www.blacktieguide.com/Introduction/4_Instructions.htm#terminology

...written by a social-climbing snob with a very large chip on his shoulder.

At most events you can get away with a very dark lounge suit, a white shirt and a cheap bow tie. By the time you've sat down, no-one can tell what you're wearing on the bottom half, and most people will probably take off their jackets at the earliest opportunity. It'll possibly mark you out as someone who doesn't often attend black-tie events, but no-one will really care. It's you they're talking to, not your clothes.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Sorry, but the only shoes to wear with black tie are patent leather oxfords.

...written by a social-climbing snob with a very large chip on his shoulder.

That seems a bit mean - from what I've seen of G.A.'s posts he seems like a thoroughly decent sort and he lives in Barrow so it must be true.

 

[Danny]

...
4) If you are 32 inch waist, 33 inch inside leg, and 42 inch chest, I could send you the gear, as long as you pay postage, and it comes back clean....come to think of it, I don't know how clean it is now... but the offer stands. All up, get down to a charity shop.

Thanks

Unfortunately your suit would nearly, but not quite fit me, (I'm 33, 31, 40). I'll check out the charity shops over the weekend.

 

[dellzeqq]

Sorry, but the only shoes to wear with black tie are patent leather oxfords.

This site is the bible: http://www.blacktieguide.com/Introduction/4_Instructions.htm#terminology

sorry, but alligator skin winklepickers are obligatory.

By which I mean - is it your intention to melt in to the crowd? Or do you want to pull?

 

[srw]

That seems a bit mean - from what I've seen of G.A.'s posts he seems like a thoroughly decent sort and he lives in Barrow so it must be true.

Gordon Bennett. The cafe is even more obtuse than my usual playground. I meant the website was written by a social-climbing snob.

Dell's got a good point, actually. If you want to pull, you might do better turning up in a scruffy lounge suit. I was assuming this was one of those tedious dinners where the objective of everyone present is to get as pissed as possible as quickly as possible.

Men's formal dress is very dull. I'm scouting around for a source of interesting, colourful, possibly embroidered gandhi jackets or frock coats - largely so that I don't have to wear that abomination, the black bow tie.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Gordon Bennett. The cafe is even more obtuse than my usual playground. I meant the website was written by a social-climbing snob.

Sorry - I'm a bit thick!

 

[User169]

Gordon Bennett. The cafe is even more obtuse than my usual playground. I meant the website was written by a social-climbing snob.

srw - I think it's perhaps possible that threebikesmcginty was making a little joke (end of long week?).

Edit: apparently not!

 

[threebikesmcginty]

srw - I think it's perhaps possible that threebikesmcginty was making a little joke (end of long week?).

Edit: apparently not!

Didn't work though, twice....sigh!

 

[User169]

Didn't work though, twice....sigh!

 

[srw]

Didn't work though, twice....sigh!

Ah! So I was right to be relatively light-hearted in my reply! (Gosh, this cafe place is very difficult to get my head around)

 

[Danny]

Didn't work though, twice....sigh!

I thought it was quite funny

Though I now feel totally traumatised by the range of footwear choices, and having to decide whether I am out to impress or out to pull.

 

[slowmotion]

I thought it was quite funny B)

Though I now feel totally traumatised by the range of footwear choices, and having to decide whether I am out to impress or out to pull.

With those alligator skin winklepickers, you won't have a choice. It'll be like a Lynx advert....

 

[Arch]

That site makes it clear that highly polished oxfords are acceptable.

However, it seems to suggest that the derby shoe is a type of oxford; I've never seen it put that way before. I'd always thought of the derby as a distinct, and less formal, style.

Blimey, you men and your complicated shoes.

There are two sorts of shoe. Comfortable, and agony.