Flying Dodo
It'll soon be summer
Sorry Ian, but I won't be able to make this now. Apparently I'm going up to York, but not on a bike. 
Bromley Cyclists - North Essex Undulations - Saffron Walden & It's Environs - Saturday 25th April 09
- Thread starter ianrauk
- Start date
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Auntie Helen
Ich bin Powerfrau!
- Location
- 47906 Kempen, Germany
So…. The Bromley Cyclists ride. Yes, it’s in Essex (the county where I live) but the start, Newport (south of Saffron Walden) was a seventy minute drive.
I arrived at Newport station, got the bike out of the car, assembled it as a few spots of rain started, then the train pulled in and disgorged lots of people with bikes.
It was truly a Bromley Cyclists’ ride as it included Ianrauk, Arallsopp and ilovebikes from Bromley and me from Great Bromley. The ride also included several of us vying for position on the Cyclogs CycleChat team. The others would all do better than me, however, as they were planning to cycle home to Bromley whereas I had the car. Rumour had it that Aperitif was cycling over from Heathrow/Staines to join us but there was no sign of him. When telephoned we discovered he was about 15kms away so he suggested we start without him and he would catch us up.
And so off we set, with some rather ominous-looking clouds.
This was quite a hilly ride and I soon discovered that despite there being another recumbent on this ride (Arallsopp on a Challenge Fujin 2-wheeler) he wasn’t as slow as me up hills. Still it was good to have a chat with someone only a few inches higher than me in his seat rather than miles in the air like most uprights. I just got dropped on the hills, as usual.
My proof-reading genes can’t ever be turned off so I was rather appalled by this sign:
Most of the route was country lanes with some lovely wide-ranging views over the fields (for those who can see over hedges). Some road surfaces were pretty bad, though, so we had to pay attention most of the time. It was a relatively leisurely cycle as we made our way through Debden and Thaxted.
At this point Arallsopp and ilovebikes decided they’d like to go back and meet Aperitif who was presumably somewhere on the road behind us. I think it was really because they liked the look of some of the hills we’d just climbed. So they turned round and we waved goodbye, presumably just for half an hour or so.
Great Bardfield, Toppesfield and Stambourne passed in a blur of cyclists in lycra. Many of us were glad to hear that the pub for lunch was approaching, in the village of Cornish Hall Somethingorother. It turned out the pub was a 10 metre detour off the route on our GPSes but we didn’t think that’d matter.
We sat down to a very hearty lunch and some people even sampled the local brew (ABV 6.5%%!). Apparently Aperitif, ilovebikes and Arallsopp were only a few miles behind so we were confident they’d join us soon.
I ordered the Broccoli & Stilton soup rather than the special offer Parsnip soup (don’t like parsnips). What a difference in serving size – I got a whopper bowl!
You can see her_Welshness’s parsnip soup in the background.
Despite being hungry my lasagne defeated me so was passed across to the mile-and-food-muncher Ianrauk.
But where were our three missing cyclists? In the end Ianrauk heard from them – they were in the rather superbly-named village of Helions Bumpstead… which was several miles past us. They’d missed our pub and gone too far. They decided to eat their meal there, sensibly, so when the rest of us left the Horse & Hounds or whatever it was called we wended our way to The Three Horseshoes.
We found Aperitif, ilovebikes and Arallsopp tucking into chips and other goodies. As there were now five members of the Cyclogs CycleChat team leaderboard all in one place we decided to get a group photo:
(L-R her_Welshness from the YACF Cyclogs team, ilovebikes/headhunter91, Auntie Helen, Aperitif, Arallsopp, Ianrauk). Spot the two recumbents in shot too.
The weather was rather better in the afternoon but the hills also seemed hillier. I had a quick swap of bikes with Ianrauk but it felt harder work than normal so we swapped back after a couple of miles.
I got dropped rather badly towards the end although there were some other cyclists much further back who seemed to be rather struggling with the hills/pace. Still we all ended up at Audley End Station in due course where several went home on the train. I cycled back to Newport station to retrieve my car (just 2 miles) and Ianrauk, Aperitif, ilovebikes, Arallsopp and her_Welshness continued on by bike back towards London and further. I passed them in the car in due course and bibbed them but I think they thought I was an irate motorist as none of ‘em waved at me!
Overall a very enjoyable ride, some good conversation, some impressive mileages (to be confirmed in due course, no doubt) and some good landscapes and quaint villages.
I arrived at Newport station, got the bike out of the car, assembled it as a few spots of rain started, then the train pulled in and disgorged lots of people with bikes.
It was truly a Bromley Cyclists’ ride as it included Ianrauk, Arallsopp and ilovebikes from Bromley and me from Great Bromley. The ride also included several of us vying for position on the Cyclogs CycleChat team. The others would all do better than me, however, as they were planning to cycle home to Bromley whereas I had the car. Rumour had it that Aperitif was cycling over from Heathrow/Staines to join us but there was no sign of him. When telephoned we discovered he was about 15kms away so he suggested we start without him and he would catch us up.
And so off we set, with some rather ominous-looking clouds.
This was quite a hilly ride and I soon discovered that despite there being another recumbent on this ride (Arallsopp on a Challenge Fujin 2-wheeler) he wasn’t as slow as me up hills. Still it was good to have a chat with someone only a few inches higher than me in his seat rather than miles in the air like most uprights. I just got dropped on the hills, as usual.
My proof-reading genes can’t ever be turned off so I was rather appalled by this sign:
Most of the route was country lanes with some lovely wide-ranging views over the fields (for those who can see over hedges). Some road surfaces were pretty bad, though, so we had to pay attention most of the time. It was a relatively leisurely cycle as we made our way through Debden and Thaxted.
At this point Arallsopp and ilovebikes decided they’d like to go back and meet Aperitif who was presumably somewhere on the road behind us. I think it was really because they liked the look of some of the hills we’d just climbed. So they turned round and we waved goodbye, presumably just for half an hour or so.
Great Bardfield, Toppesfield and Stambourne passed in a blur of cyclists in lycra. Many of us were glad to hear that the pub for lunch was approaching, in the village of Cornish Hall Somethingorother. It turned out the pub was a 10 metre detour off the route on our GPSes but we didn’t think that’d matter.
We sat down to a very hearty lunch and some people even sampled the local brew (ABV 6.5%%!). Apparently Aperitif, ilovebikes and Arallsopp were only a few miles behind so we were confident they’d join us soon.
I ordered the Broccoli & Stilton soup rather than the special offer Parsnip soup (don’t like parsnips). What a difference in serving size – I got a whopper bowl!
You can see her_Welshness’s parsnip soup in the background.
Despite being hungry my lasagne defeated me so was passed across to the mile-and-food-muncher Ianrauk.
But where were our three missing cyclists? In the end Ianrauk heard from them – they were in the rather superbly-named village of Helions Bumpstead… which was several miles past us. They’d missed our pub and gone too far. They decided to eat their meal there, sensibly, so when the rest of us left the Horse & Hounds or whatever it was called we wended our way to The Three Horseshoes.
We found Aperitif, ilovebikes and Arallsopp tucking into chips and other goodies. As there were now five members of the Cyclogs CycleChat team leaderboard all in one place we decided to get a group photo:
(L-R her_Welshness from the YACF Cyclogs team, ilovebikes/headhunter91, Auntie Helen, Aperitif, Arallsopp, Ianrauk). Spot the two recumbents in shot too.
The weather was rather better in the afternoon but the hills also seemed hillier. I had a quick swap of bikes with Ianrauk but it felt harder work than normal so we swapped back after a couple of miles.
I got dropped rather badly towards the end although there were some other cyclists much further back who seemed to be rather struggling with the hills/pace. Still we all ended up at Audley End Station in due course where several went home on the train. I cycled back to Newport station to retrieve my car (just 2 miles) and Ianrauk, Aperitif, ilovebikes, Arallsopp and her_Welshness continued on by bike back towards London and further. I passed them in the car in due course and bibbed them but I think they thought I was an irate motorist as none of ‘em waved at me!
Overall a very enjoyable ride, some good conversation, some impressive mileages (to be confirmed in due course, no doubt) and some good landscapes and quaint villages.
Aperitif
Meme bar
- Location
- ...I don't have much idea - really.
I waved. Nice report Helen - as usual. Thanks to all from the Bromley Bombers who took the trouble to organise this ride - I met some new faces to go with the regular ride groupies.
I expect I will show some photographs tomorrow and elaborate, but it really is a nice part of the countryside reachable from London...
Unusually it was raining at kick off time for me, so I waited - got soaked, got soaked, got soaked and then dried off in the headwind.
Late but ok - thanks people.
Total kms - about 255. My Garmin toy will reveal all but now I am going to zzzzzzz
I expect I will show some photographs tomorrow and elaborate, but it really is a nice part of the countryside reachable from London...
Unusually it was raining at kick off time for me, so I waited - got soaked, got soaked, got soaked and then dried off in the headwind.
Late but ok - thanks people.
Total kms - about 255. My Garmin toy will reveal all but now I am going to zzzzzzz
Thanks for the report Helen. 114 miles on the clock for me, 125 for Arallsop, 130 for ilovebikes and gawd knows how many for Aperitif got to be 200kms+
And yes we did think you were a beepin bleedin moton, I got half a swear word out before I realised it was your good self.
And yes we did think you were a beepin bleedin moton, I got half a swear word out before I realised it was your good self.
Aperitif
Meme bar
- Location
- ...I don't have much idea - really.
159.375 miles Ian. (approx 
)
)
Aperitif
Meme bar
- Location
- ...I don't have much idea - really.
Second installment of figureology: I "downloaded" (oooo!) all the notes from the GPS toy and it tells me 261.304kms which is 162.36677miles. Climbing was 2480 metres for the day.
If this gets too serious I'm taking it off!
Might write a little report later if I get a mo...
) all the notes from the GPS toy and it tells me 261.304kms which is 162.36677miles. Climbing was 2480 metres for the day. If this gets too serious I'm taking it off!
Might write a little report later if I get a mo...
arallsopp
Post of The Year 2009 winner
- Location
- Bromley, Kent
Auntie Helen said:I like this picture of myself and Arallsopp courtesy of Ianrauk:
Ah... fond memories of a marvellous day. Thanks to the organisers, photographers, and forumites who made it such a good one. Am so sorry we didn't get a chance to chat properly over lunch, but Andy & I couldn't leave poor defenceless aperitif all on his own. He's only small, after all, and was a long way from home.
The ride back was splendid. Fair weather, good company, something about a headwind too, if you believe in such things. Aperitif refused the very generous offer of a Fiesta's wingmirror, but the driver didn't seem too offended.
All got a bit adventurous past Waltham Abbey, with ambient IQ points being knocked off the population for every kilometre travelled South. Edmonton, Tottenham, and Stoke Newington struck heavily, leaving only 10 for Dalston. The last stretch into Shoreditch was like a post apocalyptic drive through Windsor safari park, so I opted to mark our nadir with a p*nct*re.
Fortunately, everyone's favourite 250lb kitten was quickly on hand with a park patch, and the group very kindly looped back to defend, assist, and pap me.
With air pressure restored, we span through town, shedding friends and daylight rapidly, eventually climbing out to Bromley somewhere towards 9pm. ilovebikes doesnotlovelights so he opted to tackle the onward route in the dark.
I made my farewells at Bromley High Street, leaving Ianrauk and Andy to chase their final miles into Orpington.
Despite a stunning performance from all who attended, the prize of the day surely has to go to the signwriters of Bishop's Stortford for their very excellent "Ugley Village Hall".
arallsopp
Post of The Year 2009 winner
- Location
- Bromley, Kent
Auntie Helen said:
Then you'll be mortified to know that I was on a Furai, and not the Fujin that you reported.
To my understanding, and for budding polyglots only, both are derived from Japanese 'wind' phonemes, meaning 'god of wind' (Fu-jin) and 'sound of wind' (Fu-rai).
I guess the closest English word for my bike would be 'flatulence'.
Aperitif
Meme bar
- Location
- ...I don't have much idea - really.
ianrauk said:Just thinking about this send shivers down my spine...
It's one way of earning your cycling SPURS Ian!
(Don't do it! No, not on the carpet - you're at work now!!
)
Aperitif
Meme bar
- Location
- ...I don't have much idea - really.
I only ever seem to see pictures of Bromley Riders sitting about in pubs - need to do turned into an opportunity to investigate last Saturday.
I trailed through the suburbs making my way to Barnet - direction Essendon. This seems a nice place to play bicycles, with undulations galore en route to Hertford.
I wasn't expecting to do Herford -Newport in 50 minutes...it's just that I carried my own raincloud and pulled in for 15 minutes, earlier, to let the worst pass. It was a wind and rain and sun mix-up morning.
I had a particular desire to route myself through Much Hadham - a 'Henry Moore moment' has been on my agenda for a while and it was nice to do this, thanks to my new GPS.
The countryside was wearing the 'Yellow Jersey' of a springtime classic.
I also found myself going over a ford for the first time (unless you count the night with Fifi Lamour in the car park of Old Pelotonians RFC circa 1980 - utilising the bonnet of her Escort Mk1)
Anyway, digress ye not, I had to slow down after passing this sign, and eventually arrived at the start - a "few minutes late."
Dialled in Ian's course to follow - the starting point was a couple of streets away...novice thoughts ensued but I was on my way after a walnutbreak and sustenance. 90-odd kms to the start of this Ride so far.
At one point I was tempted to cut across the map and head off the main party at Thaxted but, wanting to play GPS, I decided to follow the exact route - it was only fair - and reached Debden. A pretty village and displaying pargetting on a majority of the buildings.
How to make a statement...
and how to make a statement appropriately!
(cropped to straighten the view)
And lo! I bumped into the very kind arallsopp and ilovebikes who had shown concern and formed a search party. Nice. In fact, very Andy.
Lovely to meet up with these guys and we set off - 'fairly briskly' is apt - to catch the others. No chance. They could have been anywhere, hidden in one of hundreds of pubs - all disguised as houses. We pressed on, communication by telephonic means was employed and eventually we found ourselves way past the main group! ilove bikes, having gone all week with just one slice of Ryvita, was in danger of eating the marmite jar on arallsopp's shirt, so we stopped at the Three Horseshoes. Interestingly, the barmaid was the Guinness Book of Records champion slow server. Nighttime fell, and once again the rescue party came to find me. I pressed button B on my Garmin toy and we returned to lunchtime. Brilliant device!
Cycling fuel - "c'est necessaire" - as they don't say in France. Coupled with that other important balancing agent;
vital fat, vital salt, and vital carbs.- presented in interesting edible form.
During lunch, the assembled velocists were treated to a treatise on "The bendiness of bananas and recumbent riding posture."
You either loved it or you hated it - even though he tried to make the banana a peeling...
We saddled up, rode a bit and then stopped.
Gratuitous shot of my bike casting a shadow - to late for the 'photo challenge' - as usual...
And so we finished. At Audley End was another beginning. The pub, the platform and the return to Londres.
We were off again. Katie came along as the token woman (Why can't we just use money like everyone else?) No. I joke - she did well battling the headwind which became very persistent. She kept pace up to Sawbridgeworth where the train became her friend - well done Katie...a big effort up all those slopes that Ian slipped in for his return 'downhill to London'!
We stopped for a quick walnuts and ilovebikes threw a few shapes as practice for the dancefloor later that evening...
The cast-iron, non-eating, non-drinking Burak looked on. He thought he had seen it all. He hadn't. We were headed for Ponders End, Tottenham, Stamford Hill...man, he was in for a culture shock! "Is this London?" was his polite enquiry as yet another rabid potato grunted his thoughts towards our group. arallsopp's vehicle was proving to be an attraction,so we all sprinted off and left him to fend for himself got close and shielded him from the public...
All this while The Dark Horsemen of the Cycleclips were wending their way through deepest enemy territory - Ian pausing momentarily to cast a loving eye over the Spurs Supporters Shop. Thoughts of Arsene crossed his mind (Can't think why he likes the Arsenal manager either...)
The group took in the sights of Seven Sisters (only one in the picture) and Stamford Hill - it was a bizarre AND bazaar part of the voyage!
And finally, after munching the miles and coursing the byways of North Essex we came upon the steppes of Upper Potholia - Kingsland Road, so arallsopp celebrated with a puncture. Yes, you heard it right - we use that word!
Pothole problem! If the other 9,999 don't get you then the last one will! Andy holds a masterclass (or is it a wheel) whilst the co-equipiers study form on the Kingsland Road (not shown for reasons of taste).
I said adieu at this point as the ring road was calling me, whilst the true hard core continued with Ian in the van (no - not that sort of van silly!) to Bromley, Orpington and Beyond. (BOB for short)
A pretty interesting day - figures as stated earlier in this thread. Thanks boys - I always seem to have fun. I particularly enjoyed looking in that lady driver's handbag as she was giving me a lift down the road...lipstick, disco ticket, photo of bonj - it was only the thought of kidnap that made me get back in the saddle. And breaking off the wing mirror wouldn't do any good. If you're not looking out the front there's not much chance of bothering to look behind!
Thanks Bromley, great.
I trailed through the suburbs making my way to Barnet - direction Essendon. This seems a nice place to play bicycles, with undulations galore en route to Hertford.
I wasn't expecting to do Herford -Newport in 50 minutes...it's just that I carried my own raincloud and pulled in for 15 minutes, earlier, to let the worst pass. It was a wind and rain and sun mix-up morning.
I had a particular desire to route myself through Much Hadham - a 'Henry Moore moment' has been on my agenda for a while and it was nice to do this, thanks to my new GPS.
The countryside was wearing the 'Yellow Jersey' of a springtime classic.
I also found myself going over a ford for the first time (unless you count the night with Fifi Lamour in the car park of Old Pelotonians RFC circa 1980 - utilising the bonnet of her Escort Mk1)
Anyway, digress ye not, I had to slow down after passing this sign, and eventually arrived at the start - a "few minutes late."
Dialled in Ian's course to follow - the starting point was a couple of streets away...novice thoughts ensued but I was on my way after a walnutbreak and sustenance. 90-odd kms to the start of this Ride so far.
At one point I was tempted to cut across the map and head off the main party at Thaxted but, wanting to play GPS, I decided to follow the exact route - it was only fair - and reached Debden. A pretty village and displaying pargetting on a majority of the buildings.
How to make a statement...
and how to make a statement appropriately!
(cropped to straighten the view)
And lo! I bumped into the very kind arallsopp and ilovebikes who had shown concern and formed a search party. Nice. In fact, very Andy.
Lovely to meet up with these guys and we set off - 'fairly briskly' is apt - to catch the others. No chance. They could have been anywhere, hidden in one of hundreds of pubs - all disguised as houses. We pressed on, communication by telephonic means was employed and eventually we found ourselves way past the main group! ilove bikes, having gone all week with just one slice of Ryvita, was in danger of eating the marmite jar on arallsopp's shirt, so we stopped at the Three Horseshoes. Interestingly, the barmaid was the Guinness Book of Records champion slow server. Nighttime fell, and once again the rescue party came to find me. I pressed button B on my Garmin toy and we returned to lunchtime. Brilliant device!
Cycling fuel - "c'est necessaire" - as they don't say in France. Coupled with that other important balancing agent;
vital fat, vital salt, and vital carbs.- presented in interesting edible form.
During lunch, the assembled velocists were treated to a treatise on "The bendiness of bananas and recumbent riding posture."
You either loved it or you hated it - even though he tried to make the banana a peeling...
We saddled up, rode a bit and then stopped.
Gratuitous shot of my bike casting a shadow - to late for the 'photo challenge' - as usual...
And so we finished. At Audley End was another beginning. The pub, the platform and the return to Londres.
We were off again. Katie came along as the token woman (Why can't we just use money like everyone else?) No. I joke - she did well battling the headwind which became very persistent. She kept pace up to Sawbridgeworth where the train became her friend - well done Katie...a big effort up all those slopes that Ian slipped in for his return 'downhill to London'!
We stopped for a quick walnuts and ilovebikes threw a few shapes as practice for the dancefloor later that evening...
The cast-iron, non-eating, non-drinking Burak looked on. He thought he had seen it all. He hadn't. We were headed for Ponders End, Tottenham, Stamford Hill...man, he was in for a culture shock! "Is this London?" was his polite enquiry as yet another rabid potato grunted his thoughts towards our group. arallsopp's vehicle was proving to be an attraction,
All this while The Dark Horsemen of the Cycleclips were wending their way through deepest enemy territory - Ian pausing momentarily to cast a loving eye over the Spurs Supporters Shop. Thoughts of Arsene crossed his mind (Can't think why he likes the Arsenal manager either...)
The group took in the sights of Seven Sisters (only one in the picture) and Stamford Hill - it was a bizarre AND bazaar part of the voyage!
And finally, after munching the miles and coursing the byways of North Essex we came upon the steppes of Upper Potholia - Kingsland Road, so arallsopp celebrated with a puncture. Yes, you heard it right - we use that word!
Pothole problem! If the other 9,999 don't get you then the last one will! Andy holds a masterclass (or is it a wheel) whilst the co-equipiers study form on the Kingsland Road (not shown for reasons of taste).
I said adieu at this point as the ring road was calling me, whilst the true hard core continued with Ian in the van (no - not that sort of van silly!) to Bromley, Orpington and Beyond. (BOB for short)
A pretty interesting day - figures as stated earlier in this thread. Thanks boys - I always seem to have fun. I particularly enjoyed looking in that lady driver's handbag as she was giving me a lift down the road...lipstick, disco ticket, photo of bonj - it was only the thought of kidnap that made me get back in the saddle. And breaking off the wing mirror wouldn't do any good. If you're not looking out the front there's not much chance of bothering to look behind!
Thanks Bromley, great.
Auntie Helen
Ich bin Powerfrau!
- Location
- 47906 Kempen, Germany
Another fantastic write-up by the Master of the Written Word.
If only you'd heard how we were describing you to the Bromley Cyclists before you hove into view (seating on a picnic bench)!
If only you'd heard how we were describing you to the Bromley Cyclists before you hove into view (seating on a picnic bench)!
arallsopp
Post of The Year 2009 winner
- Location
- Bromley, Kent
Good lord. Thanks for the deeply unflattering pics. I'll be the one on the Manningtree ride with a bag over my head 
But more importantly... who the hell is that on your bike? The shadowed leg looks human.
I don't ride uprights, Andy is either dancing up hills on a sugar high, or comatose, Burak entirely too reserved to go clambering on someone else's frame, Ian then?
Or was it as I suspected all along... Katie, in a silicone super hero skin suit.
I knew it!
Aperitif said:
Gratuitous shot of my bike casting a shadow - to late for the 'photo challenge' - as usual...
But more importantly... who the hell is that on your bike? The shadowed leg looks human.
I don't ride uprights, Andy is either dancing up hills on a sugar high, or comatose, Burak entirely too reserved to go clambering on someone else's frame, Ian then?
Or was it as I suspected all along... Katie, in a silicone super hero skin suit.
I knew it!
Aperitif
Meme bar
- Location
- ...I don't have much idea - really.
You make me laugh my friend! I am still sniggering away over the IQ business and the post apocalyptic scenario - gave me a tear in the eye - it's so true!
