Bummer, Drugs

[Elmer Fudd]

Got a phone call of my daughter tonight, she needed to talk, can't do it face to face as she lives 200+ miles away from me now.

Told me she's been snortin' coke. Aaaargh! Cannot say anything though really as I smoke and drink but I feel kinda helpless. I've told her I'm not impressed and said I would phone her Mom, which she begged me not to, but in a diverse sort of way, I'm happy that she had the confidence to confide in me.

She says she hasn't taken any in the last two months until tonight when she had a line.

Any more advice on how to deal with this situation would be gratefully received.

All of a sudden I feel like MichealM does!

Trust me when I see her she'll get a (metaphorical) slap round the head !

(You can tell by the time of this posting that I can't sleep right now !!)

 

[zimzum42]

bummer drugs?

she should be trying poppers, not coke......


The way i see it, you should be 'happy'.

She has only done a line, not that much of the stuff, and she feels bad about it, and has told you about it.

better than snorting all night then keeping it secret........

souinds like she's got her head screwed on right.

 

[Cathryn]

First of all, how wonderful she feels she can talk to you, you should be very very proud of that, and of her for her courage in doing so.

I'd go and see her today, but spend some time online investigating rehab courses in her area that might suit her type of drug taking. And maybe find out why she's taking it. Is she addicted or dabbling, do her friends take it etc? If she's as bright as she sounds, use reason.

How awful, you poor things.

 

[stevenb]

As Cathryn has said mate...she has admitted the facts to you and that is the first step to recovery. Support her and advise her as much as possible. Listen to her thoughts and opinions and see how you can turn the negatives into positives.
Face to face woukld be better still...she'll feel more happy with you there for a hug and for confidence. With regards to her Mother finding out...that is a tough predicament....I wouldn't tell her mother...but I would encourage her to approach her mother and tell her.

Hope you can all sort things out in the best possible way matey.

 

[domtyler]

It depends on her situation doesn't it? Is she a young and intelligent woman experimenting with drugs; or is she leading a life of crime, living on a council estate bringing up kids with no husband, string of boyfriends, hard core drug taking?

Sounds like the former to me in which case there is no major problem. Just make her aware of the dangers, getting addicted, overdosing, physiological harm that she can do to herself through overuse. All you can do is be thee for her and guide her. Trying to force her to do anything will just harm your relationship.

When I was a student I took every drug under the sun for years (apart from heroin or crack). It was a part of growing up, a phase I went through. Like most people who did the same I came through with no obvious ill effects and looking back can honestly say that some of my most amazing experiences of my life were drug induced and do not regret them for a moment.

 

[zimzum42]

When I was a student I took every drug under the sun for years (apart from heroin or crack). It was a part of growing up, a phase I went through. Like most people who did the same I came through with no obvious ill effects and looking back can honestly say that some of my most amazing experiences of my life were drug induced and do not regret them for a moment.

careful, I'm not sure it's peecee to be so honest about drugs these days.

One ought to say one tried it once, but didn't get any effects/enjoy it.....

 

[domtyler]

Ah well, bang goes my political career then!

 

[Cathryn]

On the other side, I do some voluntary work with girls on the streets and it was a downward slope once they started using, so I wouldn't want to be so relaxed about drug taking....

 

[zimzum42]

indeed Dom, one has to settle for mere alcoholism in such proffessions.....



Speaking of which, back to the OP, chances are if she did a line of charlie, chances are she was well drunk, and it's likely she did more damage to herslef that way than with just a line of charlie.

And I'm not trying to be difficult, but isn't talking about rehab/therapy a bit much after just a line, anything overbearing from such a place might make her go and do it more, kind of "**** them telling me what to do" kind of thing?

 

[MichaelM]

Although things have calmed down here, I seem to have a constant knot in my stomach. I can't even begin to imagine how it must feel for your child to tell you they are taking drugs though.

All I can say is that I hope you and your daughter come through o.k.

Michael

 

[Kirstie]

Cocaine is horrible...and it's very very addictive. But it's really really good that she's been honest with you about it. The worst thing about it in my (limited) experience of it is that it turns a relatively nice person into an arrogant twunt in the matter of minutes. Coke heads haemmorage friends IME.

Anyway, the best thing you can do is to help her get as informed as she can over what she's doing. There's lots of information out there. Whatever you do don't get preachy.

 

[Bigtallfatbloke]

I have seen first hand what coke does to people. I played in bands where it was everywhere. Whatever people say about how they can handle it etc...it's BS. They cant. She needs to stop before it stops her.

She is talkng to you which is great. Do not betray that trust. Have an open chat with her....how does it make her feel? What does she think about what she is doing? that kind of thing....do not preach at her.

Who is she mixing with? Peer pressure is often a problem. Changing her environment/so called 'friends' may be a decision she might like to decide to take.

 

[zimzum42]

Good source of unbiased drug info: http://www.erowid.org/

 

[Steve Austin]

The one good thing about Cocaine is its expensive. sort of puts a limit on how addicted to it anyone can get. Not to say its a good drug but it ain't that bad, and due to it being a purely recreational going out drug, its use is generally limited to casual use over a period of time.
Very unlikely to develop into something else, and end up with a long drug problem.

PM me if you have any specific questions. I've worked with drug addicts for about ten years, and have a fair bit of knowledge.

 

[Elmer Fudd]

With regards to her Mother finding out...that is a tough predicament....I wouldn't tell her mother...but I would encourage her to approach her mother and tell her.

I'm not going to tell her Mother, I don't want to destroy her trust in me but I will do as you say, i.e. get her to talk to Mum (sadly Mum only looks out for herself, not my words, the daughters)

It depends on her situation doesn't it? Is she a young and intelligent woman experimenting with drugs; or is she leading a life of crime, living on a council estate bringing up kids with no husband, string of boyfriends, hard core drug taking?She sounds like the former to me.....

She is 19, has a job, no kids, is very savvy (streetwise), beautiful (Me ? Biased ?) and got her head screwed on the right way round, she was however, when she phoned, worse for wear, as in pissed (it was Saturday !!), just don't want this situation to escalate. I've known people in the past who took recreational drugs, 5 years later you can't recognise them.

I have seen first hand what coke does to people. I played in bands where it was everywhere. Whatever people say about how they can handle it etc...it's BS. They cant. She needs to stop before it stops her.

She is talkng to you which is great. Do not betray that trust. Have an open chat with her....how does it make her feel? What does she think about what she is doing? that kind of thing....do not preach at her.

Who is she mixing with? Peer pressure is often a problem. Changing her environment/so called 'friends' may be a decision she might like to decide to take.

Agree BTFB, a lot of it is peer pressure, most of the people she mixes with do one thing or another, the local pub even puts vaseline on top of the toilet cisterns to slow them down !

I've just ordered her some rail tickets for her to come up to Durham next weekend.