C Ya Later alligators!! I'm leaving in the morning..

[Bigtallfatbloke]

On arrival in Swaffham town centre I saw Stephen Fry filming a scene for his show..lots of TV crew etc…I moved on as the town

centre was dull…the pub I went into was the worst dive I have ever seen..yuck!!...However I did find my campsite easily enuff

after some self volunteered directions from a drunken Irishman parked in a lay-by…after 59kms I checked into Breckland

meadows Caravan Park looking like a drowned rat again. It was here that I met my first decent humanoid of the trip…a cyclist

bloke waiting out the storm in his caravan made me a cuppa tea and set about helping me out on the next days route with the

help of some OS maps he had …very welcome. The site was very clean, tidy, quiet (no kids) and the wash facilities were 100%

spotless…for £8 I was happy. Apart from one roadie, this guy was the only other cyclist I had seen out since I left home! All

tucked up in front of the fire & TV no doubt!

My waterproof gear was water proof, but I sweated so much it made little difference…except to keep the wind chill factor down. I

was grateful for my Nike overshoes as well, however soon learnt that you cannot walk up hills in these without ripping the

neoprene to bits!

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I had been eating well, and the trangia stove worked very well. The previous two nights had seen me cooking under the flysheet,

but I managed well.

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However what with the increased distances and bad weather I ‘bonked’ around 45km and soon learnt that regular intake of

lucazade sports isotonic drink was required…thank Gawd for esso shops!

After another long cold and very bleak ride via the Sandringham estate I arrived at my coastal destination, the campsite at

Burnham deepdale.

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[Bigtallfatbloke]

I pitched in a storm, which proceeded to get worse overnight. My small decathlon T2 tent handled the weather well, although I

did lose a guyrope & peg in the 40mph gusting winds. Next morning the previously packed site looked like a tent

graveyard…huge tents had been taken apart and about 60% of the pitches had already packed up and gone home. I was

getting down and sought refuse in the hostel on the site…for an extra £11 I got a comfy bed, clean shower and wash room, sat

TV, kitchen

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and…met some nice people, including a family who live in the same Sussex village I grew up in (small world!) and a very sexy

vetinary student who I would have gladly passed some more time with had she been in the slightest bit interested in an

overweight cyclist with a bad case of hypothermia! The weather was so bad I stayed for two nights in the hostel and set about

local loop rides…which to be honest just ended up in further soakings and more time in the drying room!...solace was found in a

bottle of White strike cider and some choccie bics! I was impressed with this hostel and would recommend it…just a shame

about the shite weather.

I rode a further 158km in various small loops around the area, and ended up staying overnight in a b&b in a small village called

Great walsingham.

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I had no idea this place was some kind of magnet for Irish hard core religious nuts! The place filled up with four coach loads of

them, all talking about preaching and shrines etc…me, I sat outside the Black lion wondering what the hell was

happening…maybe Jesus had been re born and I missed it on the news? Time to eat, again…but where?....”Ah B’Jesus, twould

be the chip shop you’ll be needen…” And to the chip shop I duly went …the only place in the village open for food! the queue was

forty strong, all Irish, all catholic and all muttering and cursing the saints under their breaths!...An hour later and I was in

possession of cod and chips, and sought shelter from the religious hooligans behind the chip shop on some chairs next to a field.

I ate in solitude…until….”Thump!!” and my chips went all over the table…

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it was a bloody horse from the field nudging me & after a free meal!...I must say he was good company though!
Four pints of nelsons later and I crashed out in the grotty B&B in Friday market…

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grotty but run by a really nice old dear intent on

supplying the entire village with home made strawberry jam as a sideline.

 

[Bigtallfatbloke]

Next day dawned and …”Bloody hell!!...the sun is shining!!”…yep, it was true, all the crap weather was gone, and my decision to

stick the course was justified…time to hit the beach me thought! So off I pedalled over to Sherringham,

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where to my disappointment the kiss me quick brigade were out in force…Cromer was not much better, although the kids were

having a great time exterminating the local crab population. In Sherringham I called into a LBS to get by brakes tightened and

an annoying creaked checked out. I bunged the bloke £5 for a ‘drink’ and he buggered up my brakes for me and made the

creak worse. I headed back along the coast to Wells…and then on recommendation from a local yokel found Holkham beach….

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WOW…all I can say is that this beach has to be one of the best on the planet & certainly the best in England I reckon. Huge,

sandy, Sunny and backed by a pine forest. This is for me I thought and took the bike down to the beach…fully loaded. I spent two

days on Holkham beach swam in the sea and wild camped in the sand dunes there. I watched the sunset

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and the moon rise,

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slept to the sound of the tide, it was perfect, all that was missing was a good woman and a bottle of wine….oh well…I had my

bike and a bottle of cider at least!

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I would recommend this to all, but be aware the estate is private and
camping is forbidden. Hide well and the evening patrol car won’t find you, then you have one of the worlds wonders all to

yourself…

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top class!

 

[Bigtallfatbloke]

I saw lot’s of road kills, rabbits, hedgehogs, squirrels, birds, but also several dear and a large adder snake!...even saw a childs

teddy bair splatted across the road!
I saw rabbits at dawn and I felt in touch with ‘life’.

I had been away from home and family for 9 days and much of that had been cold and wet and I had achieved a lot I thought.

The local yokels forecast was for the weather to get rough again and I wasn’t exactly keen to head on all the way around the

coast in another storm. I was in two minds, stick around or head home. I couldn’t decide, so I let the gatekeeper at Holkham

beach decide for me, and after a snooze on the beach I set off homeward bound at around 1pm. I got further than I thought..in

fact, due to the excess of sleep on the beach and an overdose of energy drinks I got to a small campsite just to the North of

Thetford by 6pm!...it was bank holiday, I was hungry and everything was shut. I faced the prospect of a dinner of three stale

choccy bics and a bowl of pasta with no sauce…bugger I thought and started to set up the tent at Moat farm, just next to a

small caravan.

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“ I say old chap…you look like you need one of these!” and a cold glass of champagne was handed to me by a cheery fella called

John….excellent I thought, just the job….”oh and would you like to join my wife and I for dinner?”…..dam bloody right I would,

thank you!

We sat in a field on a formally set out table, with table cloth, crystal glasses, silverware etc…drank champagne on ice, Chablis,

and red wine….I ate L’escargot in garlic, Beef pie and mixed vegetables. various dips and olives etc…and fruit pie, followed by a

cheese board, whiskey and more wine!!! John and Shirley restored my faith in humanity that night. I went from nothing to a full

four course meal with total strangers in 10 seconds!...a truly wonderful gesture by some wonderful people.
I slept well on a full stomache, and the next morning headed off around 9am. My target was castle heddingham, but I found I

had so much power in my legs that I just kept on going all day and after just over 90 miles I got home around around 7pm. I

enjoyed the last ride, the weather was nice, although I faced a stiff southerly wind. I met another 4 panniered rider in Molton

melbry…

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he was Dutch and had just cycled down from Newcastle!! My decision to return home when I did was the right one for me…I had

achieved a lot and I did not want to face a hard slog in the pissing rain again. Besides it allowed my to see somebody from New

Zealand last night whom I last saw in 1973…my Cousin had flown into town.



My gear all worked fine. The only hitches were the creak from my crank, worn brake pads and a broken rear spoke (I rode a lot

off road as well). The cassette coped well with being clogged up with sand and salt water, and my Brookes was a joy to sit

on…not a single sore moment! I had three cycle t shirts with me, and I needed to wear them all under my jacket at times to keep

warm. I wish I had taken a long sleeved jersey as well. I have four pairs shorts with me, but only needed 2. I regret not getting

the small TV or a radio for the trip in the end, there were some lonely moments in the tent. I need to get some overshoes than

can be walked up bad hills without tearing.

I learnt a lot about the bike, the gear and myself. I learnt that Suffolk has a few tasty climbs and that Norfolk is not flat. I learnt

that Norfolk folk are friendly and helpful, and that cycle abuse is limited to south Essex drivers. I learnt to pace myself, and to

approach people and instigate conversations (never been any good at that!) I learnt to appreciate the love of my family more &

that the price of freedom can be loneliness. But mostly what I learnt was that God (for want of a better explanation) works in

mysterious ways. Que sera sera, and that things happen on a tour like this for reasons that are not always apparent at the time.

My experience was that things work themselves out. I learned to accept things, go with the flow and be flexible. I learnt to

respect nature and trust my instinct.




I set myself this ‘challenge’ at the beginning of the year, when I had problems even walking around the block. Now I have proved

to myself that I can do this. I am a better person for it. Fitter mentally more so than physically, but I can honestly say to any of

the ladies reading that after these ten days I have thighs to die for now!

 

[col]

Great write up,and liked looking at your pics too BTFB,sounds like you had a cracking time,for most of it.

 

[Will1985]

Sounds like you had a good time and enjoyed East Anglia - come again soon!

 

[MichaelM]

I sat at the PC with the intention of advancing an essay I'm working on. "Let's have a quick look to see if he's put his report up" I thought. My enthusiasm for essay writing is dead. I want to pack a bike and bugger off somewhere....

 

[Brock]

Wonderful BTFB! Nice write up mate. Definitely an adventure that you'll remember for the rest of your life.
Where to next then iron-thighs?

 

[Smeggers]

Inspirational BFTB - good job.

 

[Bigtallfatbloke]

Where to next then iron-thighs?

...actually I spent some time thinking about that on this trip. The answer is that I am unsure. There are a few things in my life that i need to sort out & whilst I will try to avoid reality as long as possible, it's clear some things just need doing.

But...to answer the question... I have three potential 'ideas' in mind.

1) Germany (most likely/family connections)
2) Flanders or Normandy battlefields (a hobby of mine)
3) Calais to the med (most ambitious and least likely)

I have a couple of ground rules though:

1) I will go when the weather is good
2) I will ride with a partner (max two)

...since my return I have been resting a bit...my legs needed some time out. But today I'm itching to ride again (cant though 'cos I have to fix the wonkey rear wheel first)

Right now my aim is to keep peddaling locally and to watch the diet so that i dont slip back into old habits. I also need to ensure I keep riding through out the winter months. To do this I feel I need to start planning another tour soon to keep me focused. I want to maintain this level of fitness (although I am still unfit by many peoples standards) and build on it to allow me to achieve one of the above trips next year.

I will also try to do a few 'local' weekend trips with an overnight camp or hostel on good weather weekends if and when they come along...as such i am going to keep my bags packed so i can go as the tide takes me.

In the meantime I need to find a riding partner with similar aspirations.

 

[cisamcgu]

BTFB - a fabulous report - many thanks. It is reading things like this that inspire me to go touring too.

Andrew

 

[vernon]

But...to answer the question... I have three potential 'ideas' in mind.

1) Germany (most likely/family connections)
2) Flanders or Normandy battlefields (a hobby of mine)
3) Calais to the med (most ambitious and least likely)

I have a couple of ground rules though:

1) I will go when the weather is good
2) I will ride with a partner (max two)

I will also try to do a few 'local' weekend trips with an overnight camp or hostel on good weather weekends if and when they come along...as such i am going to keep my bags packed so i can go as the tide takes me.

In the meantime I need to find a riding partner with similar aspirations.

Calais to the Med is a relatively easy ride. There's a decent route on the CTC web site that I used this month to do the journey in a fortnight. As porky 21 stone rider I found the first part of the ride the most challenging, not because of the altitude of the hills but because the rolling landscape made it difficult to slot into a groove and maintain a comfortable cadence.

Things get interesting around Beaune/Dijon where the vineyards start. Slept in one one night had grapes for breakfast. Table wine at €2 per 1.5 litres was a bargain as was eating out.

There's plenty of war cemeteries in the first part of the ride as the route follows the Western Front through the Somme.

I'm afraid you can't set ground rules for weather - it has a habit of changing at the drop of a hat. I had two 12 degree Celcius days in France, a four hour thunder storm and three nights when I had to supplement the insulation of my sleeping bag. On the other hand, in Provence and the Carmargue, the temperature rarely exceeded 24 degrees making cycling a very comfortable affair.

You could look at doing some 100km Audaxes to maintain fitness. I was doing one per weekend with the odd 200km ride slotted in on my Dawes Galaxy to keep fit. Did little for weight loss but did wonders for the thighs.

I didn't lack for conversation in France even though it was constrained by my self imposed 'no English' rule. I met a member of the Maquis, chatted to several cyclists, shop keepers and campsite owners most of them expressing amazement that I'd want to do such a ride.

Get the lonely planet cyclisyts guide to France and have a good read. There's plenty of tours in it. I'll be returning to Provence and the Ardeche next year and spend more time savouring the landscape and places of interest rather than simply passing through.

Riding with a partner can lead to friction. I know of several acquaintances that have fallen out on tour yet get along famously at all other times. Disagreements arise over break times/durations, destinations/early finishes and while the disatisfaction might not be openly expressed, it festers silently taking the edge off the enjoyment of the rides - be careful with your choice of partner(s).

 

[Cheddar George]

Well done big man.

 

[sloe]

Brilliant adventure BigThighs, thanks for sharing.

Can recommend this miniature tranny

Sony-SRF-59

Off Amazon or ebay.

 

[Keith Oates]

It's good to see you back and posting Bigfella, reading your report was so interesting. All I can say is well done and keep going now that you've broken the back of the first tour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!