Cack-handed, maladroit, inept? Tell all about your most tragic bike repair/fettling experience.

[betty swollocks]

I once installed a a square taper bottom bracket (UN72 - remember those?) and re-installed the cranks onto it at 90 degrees to each other. Only noticed when I took bike outside for its trial run.........which was 'interesting'
Tried to pull TA crank off with Stronglight extractor (or was it Stronglight/TA) and while the threads meshed, it was not exact, so that when I started pulling pulling the crank, the threads stripped.
Once or twice I've cut cable inners too short.
Got confused about clockwise/anticlockwise when trying to remove Rohloff sprocket (with correct tool) in a vice, by holding tool in vice, securing sprocket with chainwhip and rotating the wheel THE WRONG WAY. Hub had a trip back to its birthplace.
That's about it really.

 

[ColinJ]

Tried to pull TA crank off with Stronglight extractor (or was it Stronglight/TA) and while the threads meshed, it was not exact, so that when I started pulling pulling the crank, the threads stripped.

Ha ha - I extracted the thread rather than the crank, the first time I used one of those tools!

Let's wait and see who is the first to own up to truncating a finger when fettling a fixed gear bike in a stand ...

 

[ohnovino]

Proudly fitted a chain in record time. Spun the pedals and ... clunk: I hadn't threaded it through the rear dérailleur. I'd used a master pin, so I had to break the chain and start all over again (lesson learned, KMC links are far more forgiving).

It took several cassette-in-back-of-hand moments before I learnt you should push the head of a pump away from the valve, not pull.

Servicing my road bike last week I spotted that although the brakes were still perfectly adjusted from last time, I'd somehow managed to do that with the quick-release bit open; if I'd had a puncture I'd have had to remove the brake cable to get the wheel out.

 

[asterix]

Can't recall any very interesting ones except trying to pump up a tyre I was clumsy with the hand pump and broke the valve. It was like letting off an air rifle. I'll swear the innard made the same noise as bullets in westerns and thank god it missed me.

Fortunately I have no fixie and all my fingers. That sounds nasty.. I was sailing with someone who got their finger between a jib sheet (rope) and a capstan barrel (winch thing). The tension just crushed it off.

 

[rollinstok]

Punching the cassette at full force after snapping the allen key while trying to remove a pedal ( the wrong way ) was not one of my finest moments
Still have the scars today... DOH

 

[MisterStan]

Taking my mudguards off as I was under the impression we were due a summer. Epic fail.

 

[TheDoctor]

A sneaky pearoast from me...
After a glass or three of wine, i started building up a singlespeeder.
I fitted the chainset, then the wheel (just loosely in the dropouts) then the chain, adjusting it to length. I then tried to tighten up the quick release, as which point I noticed the unused rear mech hanger, on the opposite side of the bike. I'd assembled the entire transmission on the wrong side

 

[Crackle]

A sneaky pearoast from me...
After a glass or three of wine, i started building up a singlespeeder.
I fitted the chainset, then the wheel (just loosely in the dropouts) then the chain, adjusting it to length. I then tried to tighten up the quick release, as which point I noticed the unused rear mech hanger, on the opposite side of the bike. I'd assembled the entire transmission on the wrong side

That is impressive.

 

[postman]

Bought a middle chain ring for a Xmas pressie.I even drew the correct way to put it back on.Went for a tootle round the street chain kept falling off.Gave up trying to work out why.Took it to lbs,who did this Mr Mee,well i did
It's on the wrong way round.

 

[palinurus]

I cable-tied the sensor for my computer to the front fork leg and to a spoke at the same time.

 

[Fnaar]

I really am shite at bike fettling. I have the reverse Midas touch. Anything I try to touch turns to shite.

 

[NormanD]

Expecting the locking ring on the carrera to be tight, I put some force into the lock ring spanner only for the lockring to be loose and I ended up punching the ground with some force ...I can still hear the cracking of the knuckles to this day

 

[Cubist]

I needed longer hoses on my brakes for a new build. I ordered a 3 metre length and while I was in the garage cut it into a 1 metre length and a 2 metre length as they were approximate, and I could manipulate them more exactly to get the precise measurements. Finding them a little too stiff to get the lines exact without fitting them, I used a coil of electrical wire instead, and with it measured the exact length I needed for the front brake, which was 75cm. I then cut 75cm from the 2 metre length.

 

[TheDoctor]

A sneaky pearoast from me...
After a glass or three of wine, i started building up a singlespeeder.
I fitted the chainset, then the wheel (just loosely in the dropouts) then the chain, adjusting it to length. I then tried to tighten up the quick release, as which point I noticed the unused rear mech hanger, on the opposite side of the bike. I'd assembled the entire transmission on the wrong side

That is impressive.

I have rarely felt quite so daft. I reacted in a highly mature manner though.
I didn't shout rude words repeatedly and have some more wine. Definitely not.

 

[Arch]

Ha ha - I extracted the thread rather than the crank, the first time I used one of those tools!

Let's wait and see who is the first to own up to truncating a finger when fettling a fixed gear bike in a stand ...

Not quite, but installing a front mech once I managed to trap my finger between the mech cage and the tube. It was a very strong spring. I struggled to pull it outwards again one handed.

At this point I realised that I couldn't reach the landline, or my mobile, which was on the table. I had brief visions of starving to death, pinioned to a bike, before I managed to wrench it open enough to get the finger out.